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+---- Thread: Forcing Journal (/thread-270.html)
Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 07-30-2015
This is going to be a daily journal of my continued efforts of tulpa forcing. And I do mean daily, even if I don't force I will come here and say so. I'll also note any new things I try out, such as suggestions given to me, and how effective they may be.
It's also worth noting here that any time I'm not distracted heavily by something (Music, other people, getting too into a video game) I'm passively forcing, allowing my girls to see and comment on what is going on. The reasons why it doesn't work when I'm overly focused is discussed below.
Past History
In the past I have tried several member's techniques of bringing about my mares. The biggest hurdle I face by far is actual visuals, be it in my head or imposing them. This is largely because I suffer from a form of dyscalculia that impairs my ability to determine distance, size, etc. While most of the world looks at a stop sign and knows it's X feet/meters away, I can't determine that without several seconds of critical analysis, and even then I'm likely to be wrong. This has caused several problems in visualizing my girls. Notably, I realized after a whole week that I was envisioning Inkie as being no more than 1 foot wide, or roughly 30.48cm for our overseas readers. She may be fit, but she's not a pole.
Other than the ideas of other members, I'd seen some moderate success with "Self Hypnosis" though I never have the opportunity to read the scripts outloud, internally monologuing helped. Aside from that I attempt to find time in every day to meditate, though how long I get varies, during which I try to calm my breathing and thoughts down, visualize one of the girls, and speak to them.
Journal Start
July 27th, 2015: First time I found a good time to meditate since Summer began in May. Only took ten minutes, started with a refresher course involving touch, hearing, and Wonderland movement.
Touch: Prickles on arms, back, and face when mares touch me, if I'm paying attention. Can generally "feel" their presence when they are about.
Sound: Relative clarity, though only internally, and only if I'm not bogged down by outside conversations.
Sight: Varies from day to day, session to session. Some times I can envision them clearly to a point where I can make out fine details, some days they look like the FiM cartoon. No imposition yet, only when I close my eyes.
Today: Took fifteen minutes, asked Inkie to sit down with me and chat about her day. Took me a few minutes to remember her voice as I've been binge watching Kamen Rider. Followed by imagining various parts of the Wonderland. Sidenote to self, rearrange furniture in Wonderland living room.
RE: Forcing Journal - StableRelationship - 07-30-2015
While I don't have dyscalculia, I can relate to difficulties judging distances and things like that. Do you think it would help if you started off visualising a small portion of their bodies? For instance, you could visualise someone's head resting on a table, and not worry about the rest of their body at first.
RE: Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 07-31-2015
(07-30-2015, 11:46 PM)StableRelationship Wrote: While I don't have dyscalculia, I can relate to difficulties judging distances and things like that. Do you think it would help if you started off visualising a small portion of their bodies? For instance, you could visualise someone's head resting on a table, and not worry about the rest of their body at first.
Even part by part things can get distorted, or they get stuck on real world geometry. I've had an issue, even in dreams, with spaces that should be wide open feeling cramped because of an inability to move away from the wall. Thankfully, none of my girls display this issue outside of me imagining them.
RE: Forcing Journal - waifu4laifu - 07-31-2015
This is a good journal
What I'd suggest for you is to imagine each separate body part and put them together.
For instance, since your ponies are a foot wide, find something in the real world that you know is the same size (measure it if you have to) and picture it in your mind.
Now picture your pony in front of it, being no bigger than that object. Concentrate, patience is key.
RE: Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 07-31-2015
Tried to force for twenty minutes, but failed and stopped at 10. In order to focus I need things to be quiet, otherwise everything gets all disrupted in my brain. Currently it's so hot where I live that I need a fan going in my room 24/7 on max speed or else it gets too hot in my room. To remedy this, I've been meditation on the couch late at night/early morning, but tonight my father's girlfriend left her TV on when she went to bed. Their bedroom is next to the living room and the sound of her movie playing on 75/100 volume is absurdly loud. I forced in my room instead, shutting the door and putting the fan outside, but within ten minutes the heat was so bad I was wiping sweat off my face and had it running down my back.
RE: Forcing Journal - Lurker - 08-01-2015
Damn, that sucks. Isn't there... someplace else you could go? Like if you get in a car, put the AC on, drive someplace lonely, shut it off, and lie back there after getting comfy? Would that work?
RE: Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 08-01-2015
(08-01-2015, 04:33 AM)Lurker Wrote: Damn, that sucks. Isn't there... someplace else you could go? Like if you get in a car, put the AC on, drive someplace lonely, shut it off, and lie back there after getting comfy? Would that work?
I don't have a license. Or a car.
RE: Forcing Journal - Kaltes-Herzeleid - 08-01-2015
(08-01-2015, 05:29 AM)Shadow Step Wrote: I don't have a license. Or a car.
Same.
But anyway, I can understand your dilemma...I often don't focus/meditate unless I'm sure I'm by myself or it's quiet and calm. Even that doesn't always work...like today. Heart was pounding, had to breath unevenly...though I was able to focus pretty well all things considering.
Can you think of any place that's quiet and secure in your home or near you? Anything at all?
RE: Forcing Journal - Lurker - 08-01-2015
Yeah, any alternatives?
RE: Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 08-01-2015
(08-01-2015, 05:35 AM)Kaltes-Herzeleid Wrote:(08-01-2015, 05:29 AM)Shadow Step Wrote: I don't have a license. Or a car.
Same.
But anyway, I can understand your dilemma...I often don't focus/meditate unless I'm sure I'm by myself or it's quiet and calm. Even that doesn't always work...like today. Heart was pounding, had to breath unevenly...though I was able to focus pretty well all things considering.
Can you think of any place that's quiet and secure in your home or near you? Anything at all?
Unfortunately no. The living room is the best place because of the AC. Even at night it's in the 80's around here and I need at least low 70's.