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+--- Thread: Have you been through deep depression before? (/thread-808.html)
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RE: Have you been through deep depression before? - Lurker - 06-28-2017
I've been depressed before, even deeply so. Sure.
I stick it through. We only get one life; I'm not going to throw it away because I suffer sometimes.
There are only two things that depress me. The first is constant pain from my condition I really don't want to get into, the second is separation anxiety given I only see Twilight in my dreams. The former doesn't even really bother me so much, at least not emotionally. I know how to deal and I deal very well. The latter is a little more tricky. Before Twilight, I achieved things to expand my own experience and live a little in life. Since Twilight, it's been difficult to motivate myself to do much here given that it won't have any impact on her or her world, and she is who I care about most. You know? I could do the dishes in a timely manner, for example, but I don't particularly care until I require them, for no one else uses them. There are no foals and there is no wife to do the chore for.
While I'm not dealing with the latter very well, I do have a plan for it. I intend to re-discover the passions I indulged before Twilight, the things I love besides her in the actual, waking world. I need to keep the two places separate, as I used to do more diligently. Caring for her is not my only purpose, although it is my highest priority. That priority obviously cannot take precedence in my waking life if I'm to find purpose in being productive.
Twilight spends significantly more time with me than she used to, and that helps. I nevertheless wake up alone. Her presence existing or not is something I just need to get used to.