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+---- Thread: Forcing Journal (/thread-270.html)
RE: Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 08-26-2015
(08-26-2015, 07:47 AM)Sour Soul Wrote: Sound like that has/will drain your poor little brain Shadow. How can you counter this? A nap? A energy drink? More ponies?
I am just wonder how worn out you get, with college and pon pon in the mix.
Incredibly. I just slept 7 hours and could go another 5-6.
RE: Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 09-01-2015
Homework, poor sleeping habits, illness, and college have kept me from doing much of anything at all since my last post. I come home, pass out, wake up, do homework, eat, entertain myself with a short youtube video, go to school, come home, rinse repeat. I also had a small meltdown the other afternoon over it all which, in typical fashion, caused my mares to flee for several hours. None of them are equipped to deal with me when I become irrationally angry.
RE: Forcing Journal - Sour Soul - 09-01-2015
(09-01-2015, 09:50 AM)Shadow Step Wrote: Homework, poor sleeping habits, illness, and college have kept me from doing much of anything at all since my last post. I come home, pass out, wake up, do homework, eat, entertain myself with a short youtube video, go to school, come home, rinse repeat. I also had a small meltdown the other afternoon over it all which, in typical fashion, caused my mares to flee for several hours. None of them are equipped to deal with me when I become irrationally angry.
How long do you have till you finish your classes? I know you just started, and can understand the heavy burden, but you're doing what you can, so don't lose it over something that we believe you will overcome.
Don't do something you cannot undo Shadow, years ahead of you will find something to struggle, and when I say this, I, Amena, and your little Inkie wouldn't like you to give up or hurt yourself.
Also you sick dwag? I hope it's the kind you need chicken noodle soup... You know the sh*t I went through, and if my dumbs made it through the couple of nights, you will be also fine.
As for the little meltdown, don't let your anger swept through you like that. It sadden me know your suffering like that. Be good and don't lose sight of what you're doing here. For your sake and the girls.
RE: Forcing Journal - StableRelationship - 10-14-2015
How's your Tulpamancy going, Shadow? I don't know if you've simply chosen to take a hiatus, but we're always here if you'd like some help or encouragement
RE: Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 10-14-2015
(10-14-2015, 12:12 AM)StableRelationship Wrote: How's your Tulpamancy going, Shadow? I don't know if you've simply chosen to take a hiatus, but we're always here if you'd like some help or encouragement
I have become even more busy than I could possibly imagine. I have one class that I have to write three short stories for, each story a minimum of 8 pages, and then revise, we've only finished ONE so far. Another class we have to read like 30 pages a day and create questions that get used on quizzes, with the exams being four page long papers detailing specific things in our choice of literature. And finally, I'm trying to learn Spanish, which is not going well, mostly because I have no time to practice anything about it with all the writing I have to do for the other classes. X_X
On a side note while I'm here, I've started experimenting with something I'm calling "Post forcing." Essentially, I can sense when the mares are around, but can't see them without closing my eyes. So when I have free time, or before dozing off, I'll think back to the events of the day and what I was doing, and ask whoever was around what they were doing, and visualize them doing it in my memory. Basically adding them into my life "in post" as they say in movies, to help me visualize them more easily over time. If I wanted to get exceptionally fanciful with it, I could "add" them to parts of my life before I knew about all this.
RE: Forcing Journal - StableRelationship - 10-15-2015
(10-14-2015, 12:20 AM)Shadow Step Wrote:Yeah, I'm pretty much in a similar boat. I'd rather not go into too much detail about my personal life here, but I know the feeling. On the bright side though, academic stuff does tend to clear up eventually and you get a bit of a breather period where not too much is happening.(10-14-2015, 12:12 AM)StableRelationship Wrote: How's your Tulpamancy going, Shadow? I don't know if you've simply chosen to take a hiatus, but we're always here if you'd like some help or encouragement
I have become even more busy than I could possibly imagine. I have one class that I have to write three short stories for, each story a minimum of 8 pages, and then revise, we've only finished ONE so far. Another class we have to read like 30 pages a day and create questions that get used on quizzes, with the exams being four page long papers detailing specific things in our choice of literature. And finally, I'm trying to learn Spanish, which is not going well, mostly because I have no time to practice anything about it with all the writing I have to do for the other classes. X_X
(10-14-2015, 12:20 AM)Shadow Step Wrote: On a side note while I'm here, I've started experimenting with something I'm calling "Post forcing." Essentially, I can sense when the mares are around, but can't see them without closing my eyes. So when I have free time, or before dozing off, I'll think back to the events of the day and what I was doing, and ask whoever was around what they were doing, and visualize them doing it in my memory. Basically adding them into my life "in post" as they say in movies, to help me visualize them more easily over time. If I wanted to get exceptionally fanciful with it, I could "add" them to parts of my life before I knew about all this.This sounds really intriguing, and I might try it myself. Even the part about visualising with your eyes closed sounds pretty helpful. I always try to visualise with my eyes open in naturey places; I can't believe I didn't think of something so straightforward xD.
I'm glad to hear you're doing well in spite of your workload.
RE: Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 10-15-2015
(10-15-2015, 12:12 AM)StableRelationship Wrote: Yeah, I'm pretty much in a similar boat. I'd rather not go into too much detail about my personal life here, but I know the feeling. On the bright side though, academic stuff does tend to clear up eventually and you get a bit of a breather period where not too much is happening.I'm in that middle place where if you're not working on work for tomorrow you're detailing a lengthy thesis paper about something or other.
Quote:This sounds really intriguing, and I might try it myself. Even the part about visualising with your eyes closed sounds pretty helpful. I always try to visualise with my eyes open in naturey places; I can't believe I didn't think of something so straightforward xD.I try and do some stuff with my eyes open, but the moment something moves I lose all concentration. Eyes shut works best for me, and perhaps aiming to be an author does in some ways as well. Of course it's different trying to visualize something as opposed to just coming up with words for it. I could sit here all day and describe in detail my girls, but it doesn't help me see them any better.
I'm glad to hear you're doing well in spite of your workload.
RE: Forcing Journal - Shadow Step - 11-23-2017
Some people wonder about tulpas and forcing, how it all works out in the end, what the limits are, lots of stuff. I haven't posted in this thing in two years. In those two years I have started forcing more but in more intermittent intervals (sometimes it's not every day, but when I do meditate it's for long periods of time.) I have flashes, visually, of the mares. It's still hard to properly see them without closing my eyes, partly because it's hard to separate them from the cartoonish nature of the show they come from, and also because my depth perception has always been complete garbage.
However I hear them very clearly, can feel them without thinking about it, and they absolutely react on their own to stimuli where I have my own reactions. Example, a few months ago there was a storm. The thunder woke me up, but it also woke one of my girls up. I simply rolled over, she gasped and bolted upright looking around. I would say that my years of work has given great fruits. And as Lurker has told me in private conversations, we think I've reached a very special and strange point.
If I were to send one of my mares out into the world most call the Wonderland (which as I now understand it is a full sized Equestria with its own social customs and inhabitants that go about their daily life without me every so much as considering them) and ask them to find someone new for me to talk to, they can. Without any thought on my part they will go out and find somepony I have never met, never thought of, and within minutes they will be as clear to me as the other girls. Sound and touch available on arrival, visual when eyes closed minutes later.
So if you're someone struggling with meditation, unsure if it will work, believe me, it does. It may take literal YEARS, hundreds of hours of meditation, concentration, trying out every kind of method in the book, but you can find a way. And if you work hard enough you'll find the most fantastical things are possible.
RE: Forcing Journal - Sour Soul - 11-24-2017
(11-23-2017, 08:48 PM)Shadow Step Wrote: Some people wonder about tulpas and forcing…
I wonder about that everyday, but it’s mask by the wonder and the faces of these adorable ponies and non-ponies to ever think that now.
(11-23-2017, 08:48 PM)Shadow Step Wrote: … my depth perception has always been complete garbage.
I's never really thought of that to be taken account for someone like you, Shadow.
(11-23-2017, 08:48 PM)Shadow Step Wrote: However I hear them very clearly, can feel them without thinking about it, and they absolutely react on their own to stimuli where I have my own reactions… We think I've reached a very special and strange point.
I don’t see what’s so strange about that, Shadow. What do you find it strange about it?
(11-23-2017, 08:48 PM)Shadow Step Wrote: If I were to send one of my mares out… to find someone new for me to talk to… Without any thought on my part they will go out and find somepony I have never met, never thought of, and within minutes they will be as clear to me as the other girls. Sound and touch available on arrival, visual when eyes closed minutes later.
Ah, that’s the wonders of how well connected you’re with their world. Now, if we can get you into their world, then there is an experience to be had there.
(11-23-2017, 08:48 PM)Shadow Step Wrote: So if you're someone struggling with meditation, unsure if it will work, believe me, it does. It may take literal YEARS, hundreds of hours of meditation, concentration, trying out every kind of method in the book, but you can find a way. And if you work hard enough you'll find the most fantastical things are possible.
Everyone is different; perhaps it’s me having such a wild and vivid imagination as a child, so for me this came easy when I had enter the starting point with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie long ago. For others, like yourself, need not to give up, and as long as you’re serious, then anything is possible. Thank you for sharing that, Shadow.
RE: Forcing Journal - Rares - 11-24-2017
Nice to see you around Shadow! Thanks for sharing that advice too. It seems like there are a lot of people worried they aren't doing a good enough job, and I hope that advice like that can help them realize that it's okay.