Random thoughts post 'em
(11-28-2015, 06:37 AM)Kaltes-Herzeleid Wrote:
(11-27-2015, 05:19 PM)StableRelationship Wrote: Parents will say nasty\unhelpful things sometimes. For the most part, it's not because they're bad people, it's because they're human and have flaws like anyone else. Try and remember that your Mother still loves you in spite of all this. Ultimately, she just wants what she thinks is best for you.

I understand what you're saying and I truly do appreciate your help...but forgive me that I am less that sympathetic towards her. Bear in mind I know my mother in this context.

She was, and still is (at least as much as she can be) a very overbearing and controlling woman. Maybe not controlling in the "typical" way, but controlling none the less. For years she hammered in her thoughts, ideas, and other such in my head...tried to make me see I could live life only one way.

I'd say to an extent, she was/is abusive in a mental and emotional way.

Plus she seems to think I'm a tactless, imbecile child...in a way. At least. And can be very disrespectful to me.

Sure she loves me, but it's a double edged sword. It's poisonous too.

Okay, first of all, do you earn enough money to move out? Even if it's just into a share house with lots of other people? It might not be ideal, but you sound like you're living in a toxic environment already. At the very least, I can tell you from first hand experience that a parent's ability to control you decreases significantly once you get your own place.

Second of all, your experience with your Mother sounds uncannily similar to mine. She's stressy like me, but she deals with that by guilting us into doing what she wants and making us feel responsible for her state of mind. This enables her to become very overbearing and condescending without a great deal of self-awareness. The reason why my sexuality got so messed up in the first place was because I isolated myself and grew close to animal-like characters. The reason why I isolated myself was because I was scared of becoming like her, and hurting people (it runs along her side of the family).

I know how much it hurts when a parent does these things, and I know how frustrating it is to assert your independence in the face of it. And you're right - it's not my place to dictate how you should feel. Your Mother doesn't have a right to be forgiven, and you may very well find refusing sympathy provides a better resolution for you. Nevertheless, you mustn't let these events tie you to her emotionally. I know it's hard, but try your best to set some boundaries and not take her words to heart.
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(11-28-2015, 03:30 PM)StableRelationship Wrote: Okay, first of all, do you earn enough money to move out? Even if it's just into a share house with lots of other people? It might not be ideal, but you sound like you're living in a toxic environment already. At the very least, I can tell you from first hand experience that a parent's ability to control you decreases significantly once you get your own place.

Second of all, your experience with your Mother sounds uncannily similar to mine. She's stressy like me, but she deals with that by guilting us into doing what she wants and making us feel responsible for her state of mind. This enables her to become very overbearing and condescending without a great deal of self-awareness. The reason why my sexuality got so messed up in the first place was because I isolated myself and grew close to animal-like characters. The reason why I isolated myself was because I was scared of becoming like her, and hurting people (it runs along her side of the family).

I know how much it hurts when a parent does these things, and I know how frustrating it is to assert your independence in the face of it. And you're right - it's not my place to dictate how you should feel. Your Mother doesn't have a right to be forgiven, and you may very well find refusing sympathy provides a better resolution for you. Nevertheless, you mustn't let these events tie you to her emotionally. I know it's hard, but try your best to set some boundaries and not take her words to heart.

Sadly I don't make enough yet.

I can relate you in that second part there. She kept me very isolated from others hence why I developed such close connections to characters, particularly cartoon animals. I feel like up until a point that was really the only real thing I had in my life.

And trust me I don't take her words to heart. I almost said to her this evening that she is not even worthy to judge my decisions.


Please don't interrupt my first response as aggressive, if you did it was not my intention. I appreciate that someone actually cared enough to respond.
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(11-28-2015, 06:37 AM)Kaltes-Herzeleid Wrote: Sure she loves me, but it's a double edged sword. It's poisonous too.
It bothers me when I hear that someone has a strained relationship with their mother; a person's mother can care for them unconditionally and be a staunch ally. My grandmother and aunt weren't (and aren't) particularly great, my stepfather was not a good man, and my father wasn't in the picture at all. My mother was one of very few adults that was there for me in any meaningful way.

I hope things between you and your mother improve with time.
[Image: bic7lIo.png][Image: angelbabe_by_passer_in_the_storm-d9n46hy.png]
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Random thought: I kinda really want to try tea with almond milk.
❤ Octavia ❤ Tulpamancing since 2015/10/31 ❤ AMA
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Nightmare Moon's appearance, however brief, in the season five finale was amazing.

She was menacing and evil. The way she should be portrayed. The way she was introduced, sitting on that throne, her voice. Perfect.Heart

A banished Princess Celestia, threatening Spike, the Mane Six as her guards and servants...her FUCKING MURDERING A TIMBERWOLF were icing on the cake.

Well worth the wait.

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Did some online Xmas shopping yesterday. The things I thought of buying for Babe either weren't in stock or were only available via pre-order (and release after Xmas). Though now I'm thinking that I'll cook her something special this month. We were talking chili recently, and I've been looking for a crock pot chili recipe that seems tasty and possible (my abilities in the kitchen taken into consideration).

I don't know, yet. xD
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I think I should start up a journal-type thread for the antics of myself and a certain cute little grey pony.

I'll probably just do that at three hundred posts! Twilight Smile

Edit: I don't really think anyone will see this, but the thread's gone and the experiment's over.
❤ Octavia ❤ Tulpamancing since 2015/10/31 ❤ AMA
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(12-02-2015, 09:00 PM)Kadae Wrote: I think I should start up a journal-type thread for the antics of myself and a certain cute little grey pony.

I'll probably just do that at three hundred posts! Twilight Smile
Looking forward to it. ^ ^

I love all of Babe, but I have a habit of focusing on her smooth and sexy chest.
[Image: bic7lIo.png][Image: angelbabe_by_passer_in_the_storm-d9n46hy.png]
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(12-02-2015, 10:21 PM)AgoriShy Wrote: Waking up at 5 AM sucks.

Really? I wake up at that time pretty much every day and it freaking rocks!

You can do stuff for, like, six hours and it's still morning!
❤ Octavia ❤ Tulpamancing since 2015/10/31 ❤ AMA
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I hung out with Sweets today! Twilight Smile
❤ Octavia ❤ Tulpamancing since 2015/10/31 ❤ AMA
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