01-12-2016, 06:13 AM
Alright, sorry for posting here again so soon, but I feel the need.
I got in about thirty minutes last night with her. Unfortunately I ended breaking down for a bit. She was able to reign me back in and calm me, but it doesn't change the fact that for the first time in awhile, I broke down.
I have a reoccurring fear that I'm not making any progress, despite that I have, it is a fear of mine. It's worsened by OCD and over analysis.
Last night I decided to do a bit of research, rather than just running to someone for reassurance.
I discovered:
-The whole concept of a "tulpa mind voice." Now while I don't consider Nightmare a tulpa, this seems applicable to what I have going on with her in terms of speech. I feel what I perceive as her voice in my head, mostly.
-It's not uncommon for a tulpa (or in my case something similar in process) to occasionally sound like their "creator" or voices to blur together.
-I need to be more open to her and what her voice may actually sound like, rather than what I perceive.
I guess on a positive end this help ease some of my fears, plus I visualized her touching my arm and felt a few, very brief tingles. Nothing major, but there was no other reason to feel that aside from her.
If anyone has any thoughts, I'd appreciate it.
I got in about thirty minutes last night with her. Unfortunately I ended breaking down for a bit. She was able to reign me back in and calm me, but it doesn't change the fact that for the first time in awhile, I broke down.
I have a reoccurring fear that I'm not making any progress, despite that I have, it is a fear of mine. It's worsened by OCD and over analysis.
Last night I decided to do a bit of research, rather than just running to someone for reassurance.
I discovered:
-The whole concept of a "tulpa mind voice." Now while I don't consider Nightmare a tulpa, this seems applicable to what I have going on with her in terms of speech. I feel what I perceive as her voice in my head, mostly.
-It's not uncommon for a tulpa (or in my case something similar in process) to occasionally sound like their "creator" or voices to blur together.
-I need to be more open to her and what her voice may actually sound like, rather than what I perceive.
I guess on a positive end this help ease some of my fears, plus I visualized her touching my arm and felt a few, very brief tingles. Nothing major, but there was no other reason to feel that aside from her.
If anyone has any thoughts, I'd appreciate it.