Updates and Advice: Version 2.0

[Sentimental Gentleman]

Things are definitely better in regards to my belief in my connection to Nightmare. In fact I honestly feel as though it's never been stronger. Plus I feel like I can hear that echo in my head clearer in regards to the speech stuff now that I'm so stressed.

However, lately I find myself angry and saddened off and on about things, fortunately none of it has anything to do with Nightmare. It's mostly just a pervasive feeling of...being unheard and unwanted. Like I'm always second best. This is just one feeling I just can't ever seem to get rid of permanently.

It's good to hear that things are feeling normal with you and Nightmare right now. Stability is always good, and a stable romantic life can help you stay stable in other aspects of your life as well.

I'm sure I speak for everyone and everypony when I say that we really want you here and always try to hear what you have to say. That said, though I think being reminded of all the people who care about you can help a little, it's not much good at extirpating any deep-seated feelings of being unworthy; I know from experience. A lot of times, I feel like I'm not good enough, or I'm a failure, or I don't really deserve to live. I end up feeling like I'm a burden to other people, or that I just end up making them miserable.

There's no easy solution, but I hope you can keep in mind that you are the best "you" you can be. Since there's nobody else out there who is exactly like you, you're the only measuring stick you have for who you are and what you have done, not anybody else. And this is something I learned both from my best friend and from Applejack: just being yourself is actually an amazing achievement, because, even if you can't see it, you mean a lot to other people and ponies, and you make their lives better just by being yourself.

I know I haven't been on this forum very long, but all the same you matter to me; and I'm sure you matter to a lot of other people. I guess I'd say the same thing I said before; even if you can't see it, just keep acting as if it were true, because it IS true, it's just that our perspectives can be so limited sometimes that we don't really see everything we do for others.

Hang in there, friend. And for what it's worth, if you ever want to send me a PM to talk about anything, just go right ahead; you don't even have to ask.