Gentian's Lexical Tomfoolery

[Kadae]

Did you really? Be honest...or don't. I'll just smile and say "thank you" to your kind words yet again.

Gentian, please, I wouldn't lie to you. Of course, I have no way to prove my words, so you'll just have to trust me. Was my comment too brief? I think that might've been it. I have to sincerely apologise for sounding so generic! I mean what I said, honestly.

I'll list everything I liked, and why I felt the way I did about every haiku. I'd also like to preface this list of sorts by saying that I love haikus. They're easy to read, and I appreciate them when they're written well as it's difficult to convey much beauty through so few words.

Eyes closed, I wake to
dawn's mute chill, and her warm fur;
all's right in my world.

I love the way you describe things. I'm not so creative as to think up phrases like "dawn's mute chill", so I have to applaud you for that. It paints a detailed scene that I can picture myself in, and in only three words. I love that.

As well as that, the last line is one I particularly like because it reminds me of NERV's slogan from Neon Genesis Evangelion, an anime I freaking love. It's a bit of a silly reason, I have to admit, but hey, might as well go through every detail of my thinking!

What surprise to find,
for us, my Princess made brunch:
bread, jam, and...bacon?!

I like bacon. Twilight made bacon. I like this poem.

Wing-in-hand we walk
through Ponyville's smiling streets;
our special place calls.

Here, the smiling streets and walking wing-in-hand are again great descriptions, and I think they're cute, so I like that. However, that said, the ending line is what catches my attention, and feeds my imagination. It's vague and yet, descriptive. I have to emphasise again how much I love this sort of writing. You do a honest-to-Celestia marvellously fantastic job!

Purple on my lap,
dozing 'neath wind-stirred oak, a
cricket sings to us.

I love the simplicity of this one, and the image it creates. Reading your poems reminds me of why I love poems and even reading in the first place. Being whisked away into a fantasy world, it's a fantastic feeling.

Makes me want to fall asleep under a tree.

From steam-warmed tiles
her sighs echo as we wash
each other's bodies.

I don't know how you do it, but you really do manage to succeed in picking the perfect things to focus on in these haikus. Despite how limiting they are, the way you write makes it seem like you got plenty of room work with, which I find incredible.

I think I'd have a hard time writing poems, so I'm grateful to be able to appreciate the writings of a friend.

By soft fire-light,
we share both rug and book. My
fingers comb her mane.

Makes me want to read by a fireplace. I feel lonely.

I really, really like your phrasing in the first line.

Snuggled close we kiss,
and gentle words exchanged, fall
to sleep's sweet embrace.

Ending on this one was a brilliant choice. I have to idea if you did it intentionally, but I think this one feels most passionate, and having it end with sleep's sweet embrace (I freaking love your wording here as well.) feels appropriate. I didn't think a few short poems could really evoke such a variety of emotions from me in such a short time, so thank you and well done.

Again, I sincerely apologise if I came off as disingenuous. I get paranoid about writing too much. It becomes gradually more difficult to re-read and catch spelling mistakes and I get nervous. I overthink things a little.

I really do enjoy your writing, and everyone's content here, but there's a lot to go through all over the internet, and, well, I don't know. I'm just making excuses. I've gotta start writing better comments.

I honestly loved every one of them, and I look forward to your future projects! I hope my sincerity comes through.