Random thoughts post 'em

[Ziggy and Angelbaby]

I think, my Xbox has a, mic or something built into the controller? Because EVERY TIME I get pissed and start screaming and yelling "fuck" and "shit" and everything else, the Xbox will just, shut off. I usually scream at it a bit more, for shutting off, then take a break. I'm not playing online with mics and other people and shit. I don't even have a mic. But I think there's a secret one in the controller, that shuts off the Xbox if it hears too many fucks. Still a piece of shit that pisses me off.

There isn't a secret fuck-counting mic inside of your controller. That's not a thing. It's likelier that your Xbox is overheating, there's something wrong with your power supply, or - assuming you have Kinect - the device is mistaking what you're saying for the power-off voice function. The former two are all the more likely if these outages are happening at the tail end of a looooong gaming session.

Babe suggested that it's being turned off by a ghost.
Ghosts speak very softly, so you have to listen very closely. Is he saying things like, "What did I say about using that sort of language, mister?" Maybe he is a former Microsoft employee, and he doesn't like how he was forced out of the company. By Bill Gates. When he was tragically 360 no-scoped in a game of Halo when he got distracted by Cortana's blue tiddies. No one could really blame the guy. It's unfortunate, but it's just a fact of life. The same thing happened to that big dude in the suit - oh, the ghost... You need to make, like, a chalk circle. All around you damn house. And mumble some shit what Tibetan monks mumble on mountaintops. This might help. It might not help very much at all.

You know what? Maybe just call customer support. They know how to handle ghosts and shit; they handle these sorts of problems all the time. Though it's possible the ghost is still tied to your house because it never finished scratching off a very lucrative scratch-off ticket. If you could just find the damn thing under a couch or some such and scratch it off for him, there's a possibility that his ectoplasmic BUTT will just move on. Stop botherin' you and your Xbox. Though, if it isn't a winner, he might expect you to buy whole stacks of the things and take up chain smoking. And possibly befriend a local liver-spotted bookie named Edualdo. I'm just gonna keep talking for as long as you keep typing. This. And this. And this and this and this. Lolipop. You f'kin mispelled lollipop, Ziggy. You misspelled misspelled, too! All right, that's it. There's no more. Stop! I'm gonna smack you. I'm gonna smack you so damn hard. This is it. This is really happening. I hope you like your face bein' there over on the couch behind you, 'cause that's how hard I'm hafta smack you.

And then Ziggy was never heard from again.