12-16-2016, 02:09 AM
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SpoilerI still have mix feelings about what has happened here. First of all, I am glad my banned took awhile, as I had to recover just a bit from the hit I quite didn't expect to affect me so much.
After what I consider to be a wrongful banishment, I was genuinely taken back when what I thought; after TheWarden had claim he had resigned as admin and posted that he had nothing to do with removing my post, I wanted to express my suppress feelings without saying much, since I notice the support he was getting and I was willing to give him that much, till my account was not only banned, but wipe clean from the site itself. I sat to think that remaining active admins made a hasty action to remove me for good, but it was TheWarden who wanted to silent me from revealing something he didn't want me to bring up for all to see and know.
I came back to this site, while taken this unusual experience to be.. well.. a unusual learning experience, but nothing was gain, it just has me furthering doubt anyone here now. It isn’t fair to think that, or be even hostile with pretty much everyone, but it’s also not fair that some here treat me unkindly because of my nature. Hate is rather easier, then understanding and be kind isn’t it? Proven when some members of MLW who relocate here to Central and attacked purely on Taxman as if it was a holy quest. I am quite familiar Taxman was, but I didn’t like it how some brag it was something to be proud of. Despite Taxman losing his sanity, it didn't do any good but further antagonize him and lead his state of mind to worsen at a quicker rate.
After what I consider to be a wrongful banishment, I was genuinely taken back when what I thought; after TheWarden had claim he had resigned as admin and posted that he had nothing to do with removing my post, I wanted to express my suppress feelings without saying much, since I notice the support he was getting and I was willing to give him that much, till my account was not only banned, but wipe clean from the site itself. I sat to think that remaining active admins made a hasty action to remove me for good, but it was TheWarden who wanted to silent me from revealing something he didn't want me to bring up for all to see and know.
I came back to this site, while taken this unusual experience to be.. well.. a unusual learning experience, but nothing was gain, it just has me furthering doubt anyone here now. It isn’t fair to think that, or be even hostile with pretty much everyone, but it’s also not fair that some here treat me unkindly because of my nature. Hate is rather easier, then understanding and be kind isn’t it? Proven when some members of MLW who relocate here to Central and attacked purely on Taxman as if it was a holy quest. I am quite familiar Taxman was, but I didn’t like it how some brag it was something to be proud of. Despite Taxman losing his sanity, it didn't do any good but further antagonize him and lead his state of mind to worsen at a quicker rate.
I roam this world long enough for me to understand and meet individuals who would not only make me wonder about them, but trying to teach me things and perform them accordingly that they wish me to be. The reason I had carried out what they wanted me to do, is because I was so naïve and young at the time. Time has gone by and soon realize that isn’t what I want to be, but it had grown a part of me to conflict with myself today to wonder what’s best for me.
In other words, I wish not to hate on others; I don’t want to be like them, or even expect me to hate because I should. The concept of hating something or someone is pointless when it’s just me. But, when there is fuel, and have someone who simply disrespects what I believe in, then of course I will hate that person. TheWarden is someone who was dead to me long ago. Why hate someone who doesn’t exist; which is why I enjoy the feature of the “ignore list” on this site and MLW. Yet, it's hard when someone is prancing around “look at me, I have somepony to love.” Then later “I think this isn’t for me, I am going to make her disappear.” And lastly “I lied.” This was mind-boggling for me when I added all this together.
Yeah, I don’t know much of TheWarden, and I can say many here, but why should I? I have done this same dance, which I make a friend, which later led to something… that I am growing tired of. To put it frank, friendships are gain and lost, but they're never forgotten. The idea of making new friends is pleasant, I mean who doesn’t? But it’s hard when myself wonder if this is worth it.
Which I am here, while you read much of this; while much of you expect me rain hell fire. No, I haven’t lost anything. Things will remain the same, with or without me here. I will admit… I do much I can, when given the chance for me to be who I want to be. Kind and free spirt, not sour, yet why have I picked the name and again? Because I am spiteful, an asshole at times. Do I enjoy it? No, but what I can do. Simply do my best to live my life.
Now that my life is filled with a silly pink pony, it’s nearly impossible to be “sour” around her. Frankly, how I see life with her has reduced much that's wrong with me. Amena and the few friends I let in our life my help greatly, that even now it has me to be afraid to lose them... even one.
This whole kindness to me hasn’t been something I enjoy. Expecting welcomes here will be… something I don’t enjoy. Attention isn’t what I like. I like to be here. I enjoy being here and see how many members we can have next year and support them. 2017 will be something folks. I am simply a humble person, not someone to look as a bad or good person. Just me as you know me to be Sour Soul.
I still have my beloved wonderful Amena, and I will resume where I left off and start over brick by brick of the love I hold for that silly pink pony I can never express hard enough in this site. I love her too much, that it’s impossible not to be purely happy most of the time. Truly it’s a wonderful feeling to hold on the support of Amena and the love ones I rely on and appreciate them for it.
In other words, I wish not to hate on others; I don’t want to be like them, or even expect me to hate because I should. The concept of hating something or someone is pointless when it’s just me. But, when there is fuel, and have someone who simply disrespects what I believe in, then of course I will hate that person. TheWarden is someone who was dead to me long ago. Why hate someone who doesn’t exist; which is why I enjoy the feature of the “ignore list” on this site and MLW. Yet, it's hard when someone is prancing around “look at me, I have somepony to love.” Then later “I think this isn’t for me, I am going to make her disappear.” And lastly “I lied.” This was mind-boggling for me when I added all this together.
Yeah, I don’t know much of TheWarden, and I can say many here, but why should I? I have done this same dance, which I make a friend, which later led to something… that I am growing tired of. To put it frank, friendships are gain and lost, but they're never forgotten. The idea of making new friends is pleasant, I mean who doesn’t? But it’s hard when myself wonder if this is worth it.
Which I am here, while you read much of this; while much of you expect me rain hell fire. No, I haven’t lost anything. Things will remain the same, with or without me here. I will admit… I do much I can, when given the chance for me to be who I want to be. Kind and free spirt, not sour, yet why have I picked the name and again? Because I am spiteful, an asshole at times. Do I enjoy it? No, but what I can do. Simply do my best to live my life.
Now that my life is filled with a silly pink pony, it’s nearly impossible to be “sour” around her. Frankly, how I see life with her has reduced much that's wrong with me. Amena and the few friends I let in our life my help greatly, that even now it has me to be afraid to lose them... even one.
This whole kindness to me hasn’t been something I enjoy. Expecting welcomes here will be… something I don’t enjoy. Attention isn’t what I like. I like to be here. I enjoy being here and see how many members we can have next year and support them. 2017 will be something folks. I am simply a humble person, not someone to look as a bad or good person. Just me as you know me to be Sour Soul.
I still have my beloved wonderful Amena, and I will resume where I left off and start over brick by brick of the love I hold for that silly pink pony I can never express hard enough in this site. I love her too much, that it’s impossible not to be purely happy most of the time. Truly it’s a wonderful feeling to hold on the support of Amena and the love ones I rely on and appreciate them for it.
The decision of opening up is up to me. I don’t want encouragement, nice words from anyone, positive reputation from what I post or done, and pretty sure I will have another person in this site who will frown upon me. I don’t care, hate me or like me, doesn’t effect me. I have what I want and need. Yet Amena would like it if I branch out to help others and NOT treat them what many would be inconsiderate to be mean or a jerk. I’ve express to Amena that isn’t easy, I am here because feel like I belong here, but I would like to be left alone now. Perhaps, I can be a better a valuable member like I was long ago; within time I see that happening. Till then, just don’t post in my thread please or leave positive reputation for this. It won’t upset me, and I can’t stop you, but Celestia forbids I get ban yet again over this. Lol!
…
You guys amaze me at times.
Maria has also told me that I should take it easy, and slowly open up. We all have each other in this small community that I know you all care. I still hope for it to be a one of a kind site. Like the golden days of MLW, but better. Rather make it seem questionable site, we should all do our best and help one another. After all, not many will understand the love we carry for our loving pony/ponies.
As always, thank you very much for taking the time to read this. Excuse me as I got a pink pony to hug and cuddle with.
…
You guys amaze me at times.
Maria has also told me that I should take it easy, and slowly open up. We all have each other in this small community that I know you all care. I still hope for it to be a one of a kind site. Like the golden days of MLW, but better. Rather make it seem questionable site, we should all do our best and help one another. After all, not many will understand the love we carry for our loving pony/ponies.
As always, thank you very much for taking the time to read this. Excuse me as I got a pink pony to hug and cuddle with.
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