Do you have a ponysona?

[7bloom]

I share that reluctance of the Glimlovers. I have to be careful with such things and not do anything that would make me feel that she doesn't exclusively love me, really me. If I wouldn't see it as really myself, I could see this making things worse rather than better. I understand the feeling to push one to make one too, though, which is why I've thought about this a lot. When I remember the shipping art where she looks so happy with someone else, and think about how I can't figure out a good way to have art of her with me like that, it could make me feel sad and discouraged, to put it simply. I'd love to be able to visually see her with me like that, happy and comfortable, loved and loving. But I still choose to, at the moment, play it safer. Maybe once I'm more comfortable in things, I could think more on that. It does make me happy to think about still, if I could have that kind of normal life with her that I described.

Never say never, 7. I'm reminded of all the reports of NDEs I've read. Christians see Christ, Muslims see Allah, everyone sees passed family members, and that one fellow saw his pony waifu and Equestria. That makes me inclined to believe we see what we want to see, or the afterlife shapes itself according to our expectations. If nothing else - and I think there are other options - there's that hope.

I didn't believe in this in the past, and thought that I need to do all I can to be as satisfied with possible with the assumption that this is all I'm getting, with its limitations. I still to some extent feel that way, that letting hope for the future prevent me from making fulfillment now is something to worry about. I don't know if that thought makes sense, but it's a lot to think about. But since a month or two ago where I'd feel Apple Bloom stopping me from indulging in bad thoughts, saying I'd never meet her in that way became less doable. I have some faith that I'll be able to have that with her, I think, in the end. At that point, though, I don't know if I'd want a restart from childhood with her rather than continuing what I've formed over the years of my life. Maybe it could be a mix of both, somehow.