Since we're trying to make things well and comfortable and feeling safe, I have some things to say too.
I do see people who aren't being hostile at all have their thoughts immediately drowned out by a transparent dump of filler text and random images. I notice it's especially mods who do this, to distract from the feelings of others that are seen as uncomfortable. I've shared my thoughts on this already but it was denied as being true, and still happens. It's rather hurtful to the one being purposely drown out, and understandable for them to feel unwanted when that happens. The chat of course shouldn't have to freeze because someone wanted to share some serious thoughts, but there's a difference between naturally starting a new topic while being considerate of the person's serious feelings, and just dumping filler stuff to get rid of it quickly while they don't understand why you'd do that to them if you care about what they have to say and what they're going through.
If something hurtful is said to someone, and the person who's hurt or another non-mod doesn't come in to say how wrong that is, I don't think I've ever seen a mod coming in to say that's not nice or that they should watch what they say or post. I don't think they're privately instructing the people who do those things on what went wrong and how to help people feel nicer, because we all still see the same things happening. If, like Flutterfag says, the person saying something inconsiderate doesn't even know that they're hurting someone, I don't see silently just dealing with it, under threat of being lectured for being negative and souring the atmosphere, as being good. Being so concerned with that atmosphere that someone can't share their own feelings is against the goal here. I understand the general thought, of course; we don't want people getting worked up and saying abusive things to each-other, but if someone said something terrible to me and I was told to "drop it" when I tried to defend myself, my lover, or a friend, I would consider that to be a sign that things really are hopeless, from that perspective. If the person hurt instead goes to a mod about it, rather than explaining their feelings to everyone, and the mod does take it seriously and not suggest "you should talk to them about your feelings", the person who initially said the thoughtless thing will be made to feel bad knowing that people have been talking about them behind their back when they potentially meant no ill will.
Something else I've spoken up about is people using the bot recklessly in #nsfw, bringing up shipping art and similar, and not caring enough to change what they're typing. I know I can't feel safe if things like that could pop up at any time, and I know I'm not the only one. If we're aiming to have a place where we can feel safe in our love, being asked to just ignore it because it's just how the bot is, when the most painful things for us are posted, isn't fitting. I think there should be more to encourage people to not be reckless with it, since it is very possible to avoid shipping, and not let them continue thinking nothing was done wrong after they feel like they want something not fitting for a waifu group, but thinks it's just as well to search it on the WC discord for everyone to see rather than privately searching on the site and using one of the two ways to randomize the search based on the tags provided. There is no justification to seeing specific shipping or incest tags searched in this group.
I care about the people here too, and seem to have enough reason to stay around despite often feeling terribly tense, sad and afraid nearly every day regarding things here, so I would like this opportunity to talk about these things to be worth something this time.
I do see people who aren't being hostile at all have their thoughts immediately drowned out by a transparent dump of filler text and random images. I notice it's especially mods who do this, to distract from the feelings of others that are seen as uncomfortable. I've shared my thoughts on this already but it was denied as being true, and still happens. It's rather hurtful to the one being purposely drown out, and understandable for them to feel unwanted when that happens. The chat of course shouldn't have to freeze because someone wanted to share some serious thoughts, but there's a difference between naturally starting a new topic while being considerate of the person's serious feelings, and just dumping filler stuff to get rid of it quickly while they don't understand why you'd do that to them if you care about what they have to say and what they're going through.
If something hurtful is said to someone, and the person who's hurt or another non-mod doesn't come in to say how wrong that is, I don't think I've ever seen a mod coming in to say that's not nice or that they should watch what they say or post. I don't think they're privately instructing the people who do those things on what went wrong and how to help people feel nicer, because we all still see the same things happening. If, like Flutterfag says, the person saying something inconsiderate doesn't even know that they're hurting someone, I don't see silently just dealing with it, under threat of being lectured for being negative and souring the atmosphere, as being good. Being so concerned with that atmosphere that someone can't share their own feelings is against the goal here. I understand the general thought, of course; we don't want people getting worked up and saying abusive things to each-other, but if someone said something terrible to me and I was told to "drop it" when I tried to defend myself, my lover, or a friend, I would consider that to be a sign that things really are hopeless, from that perspective. If the person hurt instead goes to a mod about it, rather than explaining their feelings to everyone, and the mod does take it seriously and not suggest "you should talk to them about your feelings", the person who initially said the thoughtless thing will be made to feel bad knowing that people have been talking about them behind their back when they potentially meant no ill will.
Something else I've spoken up about is people using the bot recklessly in #nsfw, bringing up shipping art and similar, and not caring enough to change what they're typing. I know I can't feel safe if things like that could pop up at any time, and I know I'm not the only one. If we're aiming to have a place where we can feel safe in our love, being asked to just ignore it because it's just how the bot is, when the most painful things for us are posted, isn't fitting. I think there should be more to encourage people to not be reckless with it, since it is very possible to avoid shipping, and not let them continue thinking nothing was done wrong after they feel like they want something not fitting for a waifu group, but thinks it's just as well to search it on the WC discord for everyone to see rather than privately searching on the site and using one of the two ways to randomize the search based on the tags provided. There is no justification to seeing specific shipping or incest tags searched in this group.
I care about the people here too, and seem to have enough reason to stay around despite often feeling terribly tense, sad and afraid nearly every day regarding things here, so I would like this opportunity to talk about these things to be worth something this time.