PSA: Discord Activity

[Rares]

I do see people who aren't being hostile at all have their thoughts immediately drowned out by a transparent dump of filler text and random images. I notice it's especially mods who do this, to distract from the feelings of others that are seen as uncomfortable. I've shared my thoughts on this already but it was denied as being true, and still happens. It's rather hurtful to the one being purposely drown out, and understandable for them to feel unwanted when that happens. The chat of course shouldn't have to freeze because someone wanted to share some serious thoughts, but there's a difference between naturally starting a new topic while being considerate of the person's serious feelings, and just dumping filler stuff to get rid of it quickly while they don't understand why you'd do that to them if you care about what they have to say and what they're going through.

As I've mentioned before, as you put it is not quite the full story. Sometimes there are instances on the Discord where people are not well equipped to respond to something, as people tend to take time to really try to respond to longer posts as they don't want to just say "I'm sorry". At the same time it creates a bit of a time limit, as people can wait a day or so to respond to a post, where as Discord you can have 10 topic changes in a single hour, making it difficult to go back and respond to older ideas. Sometimes an image dumps help people improve the mood, as they don't know what to do or how to handle a situation like that. It does help refresh things and people try to improve everyone's mood with it. In this situation, the best thing to do is contribute to it with your own stuff. Because to others, when they get involved, it really isn't filler, it's how they feel too.

If something hurtful is said to someone, and the person who's hurt or another non-mod doesn't come in to say how wrong that is, I don't think I've ever seen a mod coming in to say that's not nice or that they should watch what they say or post. I don't think they're privately instructing the people who do those things on what went wrong and how to help people feel nicer, because we all still see the same things happening. If, like Flutterfag says, the person saying something inconsiderate doesn't even know that they're hurting someone, I don't see silently just dealing with it, under threat of being lectured for being negative and souring the atmosphere, as being good. Being so concerned with that atmosphere that someone can't share their own feelings is against the goal here. I understand the general thought, of course; we don't want people getting worked up and saying abusive things to each-other, but if someone said something terrible to me and I was told to "drop it" when I tried to defend myself, my lover, or a friend, I would consider that to be a sign that things really are hopeless, from that perspective. If the person hurt instead goes to a mod about it, rather than explaining their feelings to everyone, and the mod does take it seriously and not suggest "you should talk to them about your feelings", the person who initially said the thoughtless thing will be made to feel bad knowing that people have been talking about them behind their back when they potentially meant no ill will.

In these instances, when a staff member says to drop it, it's just an attempt to end any potential escalation of a situation. No one is intended to be left in the dark, and you definitely know how I try to talk to people in private after the effect. It's not a sign of things being hopeless, as people want to end conflict by cutting it off before escalation. Mods are trying to take things seriously, and that's why they're always open to discussion, even in private. And that's what happens, and a staff member will try to work out an understanding behind the actual channel, again to not make any misunderstandings take place. No one is being left alone in their feelings in this case, that definitely won't happen.

Something else I've spoken up about is people using the bot recklessly in #nsfw, bringing up shipping art and similar, and not caring enough to change what they're typing. I know I can't feel safe if things like that could pop up at any time, and I know I'm not the only one. If we're aiming to have a place where we can feel safe in our love, being asked to just ignore it because it's just how the bot is, when the most painful things for us are posted, isn't fitting. I think there should be more to encourage people to not be reckless with it, since it is very possible to avoid shipping, and not let them continue thinking nothing was done wrong after they feel like they want something not fitting for a waifu group, but thinks it's just as well to search it on the WC discord for everyone to see rather than privately searching on the site and using one of the two ways to randomize the search based on the tags provided. There is no justification to seeing specific shipping or incest tags searched in this group.

The bot is definitely an instance to be careful playing with it, so that's why there's that disclaiming for using it. The bot is uncontrollable. If you really are uncomfortable with the bot, especially in NSFW, the best thing you can do is block it. I think that way everything is hidden and out of view. I think you'd also be relieved to know staff are able to delete bot posts in that specific channel, so I hope that helps to know that and makes things a bit better.

I hope that clears up some things.