08-01-2017, 03:12 AM
I guess it's no surprise that I feel the most connected to her when I'm happy or in a good mood, but not so much when I'm having a bad day or my mood is in the dumpster.
Ironically, those would be the days where I'd need her the most. On some days it feels like some kind of a downward spiral really.
My plush helps immensely, and since it's (almost) the only kind of merch of her I have right now, and since my collection won't ever be nearly as big as I'd llike it to be because of various reasons, I worship it like nothing else, it's my most precious possession.
And it does the trick. Just today I've just watched a few eps of a show while holding her close. Not thinking about too much, nothing pony related really. Just watching something with her. And it's glorious. Just very realaxing and comfy. I like to imagine that she's happy whenever I am in a good mood and not stressed out or succumbing to my anxieties, and that in turn makes me feel happy and connected with her.
There are still a ton of things that make me feel like I'm miles away from her, but I think I can work on those things getting smaller and thus shortening the distance.
Ironically, those would be the days where I'd need her the most. On some days it feels like some kind of a downward spiral really.
My plush helps immensely, and since it's (almost) the only kind of merch of her I have right now, and since my collection won't ever be nearly as big as I'd llike it to be because of various reasons, I worship it like nothing else, it's my most precious possession.
And it does the trick. Just today I've just watched a few eps of a show while holding her close. Not thinking about too much, nothing pony related really. Just watching something with her. And it's glorious. Just very realaxing and comfy. I like to imagine that she's happy whenever I am in a good mood and not stressed out or succumbing to my anxieties, and that in turn makes me feel happy and connected with her.
There are still a ton of things that make me feel like I'm miles away from her, but I think I can work on those things getting smaller and thus shortening the distance.