Tulpamancy and Waifus

[OZ the pony]

I am still unsure about most of you on the stands of your relationship with your pony/ponies. I sometimes question those who log in, who take no part in contribute, more so those who do not have a deep affection as some do here. This is me seeing a lack of post from them, which is fine, since I show close to no interest if that’s the case.

Um ..... it's complicated to answer that accurate . As much as I know , some people are here because their friend here and will more open with friend , some of us not good at share deep feeling , or worry even they post .... probably no one will read ... there are a few unsure what they can get here ...keep stay here maybe can find out one day .

For myself ... I come here for finding someplace can share secret without worrying . Hiding those feeling not saying will explosion in the end . But while I join here for the first time most spending time lurk for past 4 month ... ..why ? shy....worry.....unsure I guess ? ... but I started to get more and more comfortable here recently . Have stop lurking ...maybe there are same people like me.... just need time , that's what I believe . All I can do is make sure this site as comfortable as possible .

Most of you know me to be, well, I don’t know really. I would say a jerk, an asshole, but time has gone by that Amena has preventing me from being perceived as one. I like to be honest, since lying or better yet pretending to care doesn’t sit well with me. I like to be myself, so when I say this, time after time I find myself unsure how most people want to go forward with their pony that they fell for.

To be honest , indeed sometime you are straight-talk . The first post you return say not reply back , and not here to be friend ... I was confused if it is ok to talk with you . But after see your post few day ago ... recognize this is your fear for get hurt ..like you say "care but afraid hurt yourself . I'll take that is ok to talk with you .

Is straight-talk hurtful ? Yes ~ but is this make you a jerk ? No ~ true jerk hurt people because they want to ... but you do this not because you want to .

Does anybody know how it feels to know someone and say that they want to move on, worst to say that person wants to forget the relationship they had created? It’s rather painful when you fear or think where is this coming from? Right now, I am feeling the unease numbness of having to remember what has been said and done... I pause to think or find myself back here. It’s unbelievable for me, or best to not even worry, if Amena or I no longer want to see each other. We both know our bond to form as one, with the most wonderful feeling we tend to share to one another, so for me to say, “Hey, guys I am no longer with Amena.” Would be one terrible joke. Which is what I thought, when that person was explaining how he or she no longer want to go on with the pony they set to be with, and has me drowning in confusion, distraught, disgust and all those feelings that got me shaken to question others as of now.

Well ....if really have to say ...it's feel like a curse ...A curse more horrible than death , that call forgot . People all the world have to fight with this , human forgot thousand thing ... cruel part is .... this could happend to human's relationship .... even our's .... And we will not treated that as a loss . God promise to us we are going to have eternal life . But somehow I want eternal love , too . Someone say God love us and never change ... I don't know how he do it and want the power , too . Seeing a lot of relationship had fight with this , there were good ending , also have bad ending . To be honest , I'm fighting with the curse , too . What will happend in the end probably have to stay at the last moment to know . I prayed to him ...even I lose please let me remember . Like you want to resurrection us .


Sometime thinking about if a one important thing , ten year later I'm not treated that as important as uesd to be , then the pass 10 year were ... waste ? It's fear to think about that .