Tulpamancy and Waifus

[Sour Soul]

… people are here because their friend here and will more open to with friend.

That’s fine, a pony lover or not, I believe this site should be open, but with those who are in charge, then it’s best if this site remains under the radar. Heh, I remember how MLW wanted more members, and I know some would like to see a bump of membership here. Yet, from past experience, it landed the old site’s demise, thanks to its founder, who was consume with the nonsense that Kaltes and I witness. I am not sure who else was there during the final days of MLW, but I do hope history doesn’t repeat itself here.

The successfulness of this site’s future is possible, it will thrive strong as long as we all do our part, but until then, I am here posting this kind of crap for you all to read. I feel we cannot pick and choose who should stay or who should leave. Please be aware we will have deceivers, and to say we have them now is impossible to tell. We rely in the trust of those here; the relationship form with one another helps us, doesn’t it? It should did help me during my time being around here and the old site. Some are comfortable with those already here, while others here would like to see new faces, new experiences, new ponies, and new friendship being build throughout our time here.

We cannot escape the fact people out there hold such curiosity to want to enter this site and look around. The mind of a pony lover is something to behold and wonder, for reasons many of us know. With the help of our journals, they will examine us, while those; like myself, will not really enjoy the idea, but it can’t be help, and it’s going to happen. People will take screenshots, and make a YouTube video out of it. In the past someone breach MLW, gather as much as he needed, took it to his somewhat popular podcast, talk about the members solely on the nonsense, the negative aspect, where people outside the community think nothing of us, but the now establish term of a Weeaboo.

some of us not good at share deep feeling , or worry even they post ....

Which is why that’s understandable. For me, I don’t care how people perceive me, and someday… if I continue to this path of… well, that’s the thing. I am afraid of the attention, Ziggy said to me, "why hide your artwork? why don’t you do more animation?" I would like to share what I had drawn these blissful days I had time for, complete these projects that I’d ignore, but do I really want the spotlight? Do I want followers? I am not shy; I just don’t know what to do with that kind of crap. It’s bad enough my view of people is damage to feel mix emotions about.

I can't really help but say something that's needed, when someone is having a hard time. How I know that feeling, so if I make my way to say something 'nice' it's only to stop feeling from what I understand. If I fail, I will try again, until... something happens or move on, while knowing I did what I can for them.

...

probably no one will read ...

So what? Does it really matter in the end? If a person is struggling, want to express his or hers endeavors here, and then find no reply is given, I can see how discouraging it can be. I been there, but face it, like High School for me, no one gives a sh*t. We’re young, we will get hurt one way or another, and at that moment, what we will do, will matter on how we deal with that and become who we are. I truly really can’t think where I will be without these ponies. It first started with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash; Maria wasn’t around because I lost in touch with her when I enter High School.

Sure, I been through a lot, and some of us as well, but what do we really gain from just sitting here, overthinking, getting caught up with these nasty emotions that you and I don’t enjoy very much. I write on, not for anyones entertainment, I write here to share what I feel others will understand. Who understand my love for Amena. Understand how important these ponies continue to make a positive impact for me.

there are a few unsure what they can get here ...

Like the old saying goes, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” If we don’t take a chance, then where will we be? That’s me speaking for those who want a pony pony, and not just here because they got nothing better to do.

Excuse me for those who just hang around here. I am not mad at any of y’all. I am merely expressing these feelings I hold for quiet awhile now.

keep stay here maybe can find out one day .

Then I hope for the best for them.

For myself ... I come here for finding someplace can share secret without worrying . Hiding those feeling not saying will explosion in the end .

That’s normal. I can’t think how useful this site is for those who post such feelings like you and I hold. Even if it’s small, it’s something to say, let go, and sigh in relief for a bit I believe.

But while I join here for the first time most spending time lurk for past 4 month ... ..why ? shy....worry.....unsure I guess ? ... but I started to get more and more comfortable here recently . Have stop lurking ...maybe there are same people like me
.... just need time , that's I believe .

Take all the time you need then, OZ. Just don’t let that weight, bring you down. See, I don’t really care, but I do care if those put forth the effort. I understand it’s hard to do it on your own, which is why some of us here are doing what we can for y'all.

To be honest , indeed sometime you are straight-talk . a little way too straight .

“Little” or “way too straight”, which is it? I am fully aware, like how aware of how I place this sentence for you, OZ. You don’t have to answer that, just proven a fu*king point, because it's good that I am blunt, as I grow tired of playing nice. If I offend, then it’s only me telling how it is. Beside I won’t really go out the way to tell someone, like Rose, to stop their bullsh*t, because that’s not how you handle someone who is really having a hard time with their life.

When you gone through the crap that make you want to stop, but can’t help coming back, with the understanding of how life can be such a bit*h, then this is what you get. A sour fu*king soul. Yes, I lost few good friends who understand my love of Amena, because of my sh*t. It’s something I’ve to bear, why I still think of those who hurt me to have me twisted up, yet wonder if they're still alright. I mean for fu*k sake, I still pray for them to be watch and care for.

Fu*k this sh*t, and fu*k the police!!!

(Taking a moment to find myself)

This is what I want to avoid, you can only take so much, that you no longer wish to bear anymore of it.

The first post you return say not reply , and not here to be friend ... I was confused if it is safe to talk with you .

… I still think that’s the way it has to be for me. To ensure what ties I have here doesn’t be compromise with what is inside of me still. I don’t want to be rude, yell obscenities, or even go as far to say or wish they no longer existed (dead/kill yourself).

Is straight-talk hurtful ? Yes ~ but is this make you a jerk ? No ~ true jerk hurt people because they want to ... but you do this not because you want to .

I don’t really care. Hate of others is all I know and felt for quite sometime, but I am not a lost cause, for which I have Amena near and clear from all that would upset her, and what might have this treasured bond of her and I hold, weaken and break. All in all, if it wasn’t for them, Amena, Fluttershy, Maria, and all those who care in Rehold, then I would not be here at all or be banned for being nothing more then a nuisance with issues in the end.


That ladies and gentlemen is me pouring some sh*t I had for sometime. More to come after these commercial breaks.

...

Above, I wrote all that last night, after a couple of hours of OZ's post. Sleepy I was, with the ray of random emotions shedding out, I wasn't sure if what I wrote was right for me to say. After a goodnight sleep, after reading and reviewing, I approve what I wrote and here is what I posted for you all.

I am not really sure what this will accomplish, other then getting to know me a bit more. Time will really tell in the end. Take it easy in the mean time.