Tulpamancy and Waifus

[Sour Soul]

Just want to say thank you and this community . Talking secret without worry really make heart feel easy . Now can feel a little satisfied and happy . It been so long ... I don't remember when was the last time I was so open heart share secret .

That's good, OZ. Last three months for me made it easier for me to allow myself say what I am willing to share. Seem we’re on the same boat. Keep that feeling going. I will be here to aid you anyway possible.

Yeah , relationship abandon is a dishonorable past . I was trying not to mention it as possible , but if you ask I'll not try to lie either . When I was in school , was a shy guy . Talking to girl is very hard for me , have a girlfriend is more harder . Watching people around me changed their relationship very frequently .

It’s all about seeing if you’re compatible. You really can’t be with someone if they’re not a match. Yet, we can’t be very picky, because it will lead us being lonely in the end. We have to compromise someway to meet the demands of our feelings within us.

Beside…

Make me feel like they don't even take their relationship serious , having such a good social skill but treat relationship like playing .

That’s them, not you, OZ. Does it really matter if everyone around you is fooling around?

Now think back it was true that my pride , over idealistic , and jealous look down at them .

Explain more here, OZ.

About 3 year ago , not too far away and not too close . And Starlight from 1 year ago ... this is why past failures can still trap me .

What happen with your first relationship with her? And you were with Starlight a year ago?

Yes , had interest because passionate change and forgot are also human's natural . But It isn't undefeated like death . Like you say not too dependent on God , except to pray to him keep our fire strong . I have to do thing I can do . And god help thing I can't do .

I understand.

That mean if I love someone else in the future , that will only have two option ... give up Starlight or into polygamy . Not one of them are ok for me so far .

Hmm, it’s possible you find someone in this world. Since this type of relationship I’ve with Amena, isn’t for everyone. I don’t know you very well, and it will be wrong for me to say you can stick it both in the end together.

Plus, we don't really have much to go on, due to the lack of posts from you. XP

Also, only you will know where your heart lies and takes you. Just be aware you mind may say something different. Then that’s where you have to choose. Of course, if you work with Starlight, then that point will be easier. Who really knows, since we won’t know till you come face with what you have till then, OZ.

Hmm...

You would like Starlight to be by your side when that day comes, right?

So I hope she is the last one I love .

Who? Starlight?

But my and someone else past failures let me know passionate change and forgot are also human's natural . Do I want to avoid the curse ? Yes , but do I 100% sure I can win ? No . That's why when the fire start getting weak in August I was very scary , I thought fire will fade again but thankful it was my over worry .

Hmm, you can’t really stay hidden with your feelings now. What are you really afraid of? These mistakes that will catch up to you, OZ? It can’t be letting Starlight in, is it?

Here is a question we want to know. Do you love yourself, OZ?

Same here . If don't have relationship yourself , looking other will become hurt , worst even getting jealous . But when you have relationship it become enjoyable to read . This is very mysterious . Hurt or enjoyable ... depends on our status .

Glad we understand this part. Do you get upset when reading other members entry of their love experience? Or what is it do you feel?

You mean like tulpa for you ?

Well… Amena isn’t a tulpa or my waifu. Like how Ziggy put it, she is my everything, my angel, my sweet pink flower, and the heavens that meet the starry sky.

Spoiler

Amena is my girlfriend, who I want to marry, and raise a proper family.

If you mean this case that not really . It's more like she's live in my head , imagine , passionate and role play . If you mean this then yes . She is with me . If she is not with me , I will lose the motivation to stay here

Hmm, do you’ve a plushie of Starlight?

Oh , that explains everything , I thought English is your first language .

Explain what? And no, English wasn’t my first language. A small backward town in the state of Oklahoma stripped me of my native tongue.