07-30-2015, 06:08 PM
This is going to be a daily journal of my continued efforts of tulpa forcing. And I do mean daily, even if I don't force I will come here and say so. I'll also note any new things I try out, such as suggestions given to me, and how effective they may be.
It's also worth noting here that any time I'm not distracted heavily by something (Music, other people, getting too into a video game) I'm passively forcing, allowing my girls to see and comment on what is going on. The reasons why it doesn't work when I'm overly focused is discussed below.
Past History
In the past I have tried several member's techniques of bringing about my mares. The biggest hurdle I face by far is actual visuals, be it in my head or imposing them. This is largely because I suffer from a form of dyscalculia that impairs my ability to determine distance, size, etc. While most of the world looks at a stop sign and knows it's X feet/meters away, I can't determine that without several seconds of critical analysis, and even then I'm likely to be wrong. This has caused several problems in visualizing my girls. Notably, I realized after a whole week that I was envisioning Inkie as being no more than 1 foot wide, or roughly 30.48cm for our overseas readers. She may be fit, but she's not a pole.
Other than the ideas of other members, I'd seen some moderate success with "Self Hypnosis" though I never have the opportunity to read the scripts outloud, internally monologuing helped. Aside from that I attempt to find time in every day to meditate, though how long I get varies, during which I try to calm my breathing and thoughts down, visualize one of the girls, and speak to them.
Journal Start
July 27th, 2015: First time I found a good time to meditate since Summer began in May. Only took ten minutes, started with a refresher course involving touch, hearing, and Wonderland movement.
Touch: Prickles on arms, back, and face when mares touch me, if I'm paying attention. Can generally "feel" their presence when they are about.
Sound: Relative clarity, though only internally, and only if I'm not bogged down by outside conversations.
Sight: Varies from day to day, session to session. Some times I can envision them clearly to a point where I can make out fine details, some days they look like the FiM cartoon. No imposition yet, only when I close my eyes.
Today: Took fifteen minutes, asked Inkie to sit down with me and chat about her day. Took me a few minutes to remember her voice as I've been binge watching Kamen Rider. Followed by imagining various parts of the Wonderland. Sidenote to self, rearrange furniture in Wonderland living room.
It's also worth noting here that any time I'm not distracted heavily by something (Music, other people, getting too into a video game) I'm passively forcing, allowing my girls to see and comment on what is going on. The reasons why it doesn't work when I'm overly focused is discussed below.
Past History
In the past I have tried several member's techniques of bringing about my mares. The biggest hurdle I face by far is actual visuals, be it in my head or imposing them. This is largely because I suffer from a form of dyscalculia that impairs my ability to determine distance, size, etc. While most of the world looks at a stop sign and knows it's X feet/meters away, I can't determine that without several seconds of critical analysis, and even then I'm likely to be wrong. This has caused several problems in visualizing my girls. Notably, I realized after a whole week that I was envisioning Inkie as being no more than 1 foot wide, or roughly 30.48cm for our overseas readers. She may be fit, but she's not a pole.
Other than the ideas of other members, I'd seen some moderate success with "Self Hypnosis" though I never have the opportunity to read the scripts outloud, internally monologuing helped. Aside from that I attempt to find time in every day to meditate, though how long I get varies, during which I try to calm my breathing and thoughts down, visualize one of the girls, and speak to them.
Journal Start
July 27th, 2015: First time I found a good time to meditate since Summer began in May. Only took ten minutes, started with a refresher course involving touch, hearing, and Wonderland movement.
Touch: Prickles on arms, back, and face when mares touch me, if I'm paying attention. Can generally "feel" their presence when they are about.
Sound: Relative clarity, though only internally, and only if I'm not bogged down by outside conversations.
Sight: Varies from day to day, session to session. Some times I can envision them clearly to a point where I can make out fine details, some days they look like the FiM cartoon. No imposition yet, only when I close my eyes.
Today: Took fifteen minutes, asked Inkie to sit down with me and chat about her day. Took me a few minutes to remember her voice as I've been binge watching Kamen Rider. Followed by imagining various parts of the Wonderland. Sidenote to self, rearrange furniture in Wonderland living room.
Soul of the mind, key to life's ether. Soul of the lost, withdrawn from its vessel. Let strength be granted, so the world might be mended. So the world might be mended.