When Worlds Collide

[StableRelationship]

My relationships with others have improved, I function better in life, I'm a changed person because of this. Many of us are. Most of us are not sick because we choose to live this kind of life.

Same goes for me, most of you would be surprised how much of a normie I am in real life and how much i'm able to be a productive member of society. My "figment of imagination" hasn't changed that nor will it.

Is there room for three in here? Because Pony-Love has helped me a lot too.

To start with, I'm basically a non-practising zoophile (by which I mean, I don't act on it or look at pornography). Before I joined this community, this situation was driving me mental. The "I can't act on it" part didn't bother me that much, but the feeling of being an 'outsider' certainly did. You see, like it or not, sex and relationships are a big deal in society. Having sex and entering traditional (i.e human) relationships are considered significant milestones. It is from these milestones (and many others) that we gain a sense of acceptance and belonging within a community.

Of course, if you're not attracted to your own species, that quickly goes out the window. You're denied access to the emotional structure society prepared for you and left to pick up the pieces alone. At the same time, you're considered a freak and forced to hide who you are out of shame; this is what bothered me the most. By necessity, I had to become a pathological liar. I had to fake love I never felt, hide love I actually felt and promise my family a future I knew would never come.

Despite this, there are some areas where my form of zoophilia and "odd sexual communities" overlap. One of these was the clop/pony-lover community, and I joined the latter around a year ago. At first, my only intention was to vent, and the community helped me considerably with that. When you've spent your entire life repressing your desires, you have no idea how wonderful it feels to let it out. For the first time in my life, I could be completely honest about myself without shame, closed curtains or hushed voices. It gave me hope, and convinced me that I'd be able to achieve success in my life despite my difficulties.

After a while, I got into Tulpamancy and developed a Tulpa based on Princess Luna. I could go on a really long-winded explanation of how this helped me, but the bottom line is this: creating a Tulpa forces you to think with a mindset and value system which is fundamentally not your own. This allows you to self-reflect and empathise with others in a new way.

While I certainly don't have a mental disorder, I am a very anxious person and this has made it difficult for me to assert myself and concentrate in stressful situations. Luna's presence/advice helped me to better manage my anxiety and it motivated me to seek counselling/psychological help (which I'm currently still a part of). Because of this stuff, I've been able to genuinely improve myself and I don't regret any of it.

I get where FF is coming from though, and I've sympathised with her on various things in the past. As others have said, she definitely does have a point. However, she expressed it in a way which is condescending and ignorant of peoples' experiences here. In my experience, you can't really change a person's behaviour by sitting on a high horse (if you'll pardon the pun) and telling them they're wrong. That tends to provoke anger and resentment.