How did you first enter the fandom?

[TheGypsyBard]

I'm fairly sure every brony has been asked this at some point in their lives. The answers vary widely depending on the person, but it all ends with the result of being one of our herd. I'll be sharing mine to start things off, but I apologize in advance for the wall of text to come.

To begin with, I was a very, VERY troubled child as a youth. It was later discovered to be caused by a physical malady, but this was after the damage had been done. I started spiraling into a deep cespit of self-loathing, thinking I was some abomination that had no business facing the rest of the world. I fell into the 'emo' phase in an attempt to fit in with someone. As it was no doubt destined to end, I was only digging my pit deeper.

It was around 7th grade that I finally reached the end my veritable strand of willpower, however short it may have been at the time. Instead of trying to resist depression or seek ways of alleviating, I gave in completely. I began to physically harm myself, starting with peeling of skin until I bled, leading on until I was causing enough damage to leave scars.

One day during my final days of 7th grade, I had actually convinced myself I wanted to die. I had a knife in my hand, with the only step left of simply slitting my own throat. I was so utterly convinced it would make everything go away, I didn't consider the consequences. While trying to will myself to do it, a certain technicolor show about ponies happened to come on.

I had been obviously distracted, so it had come on without my knowing. When I did notice it, I was minor intrigued, the episode in question happening to be the Nightmare Night one. Halloween had always been my favorite holiday, so it managed to interest me some, despite the 'girly ponies' I saw. I watched the rest of the episode and felt... I can't say better, but calmed down is a more accurate word. It made me realize what I almost did, right then and there, and I was very withdrawn for a few days after that.

The weeks following that were similar to the ones before. It was some time before I caught another episode, this one being "Party of One". It was the first time I really saw her, really felt a connection. She reminded me of myself, yet.. she was so vibrant, joyful even. She had all the qualities i wished i had, the ability to soread her happiness like wildfire. I began to watch more and more, mainly to see that happy face again to remind me to just "Smile, Smile, Smile!"

Eventually, I had been engrossed in the show. It made me feel a bit happier to watch something so... happy. I yearned to experience more. I began exploring the Web for more of the series, which led me to discovering the brony community. I found friendship I could never gain in real life. The connection I feel with every one of you is on a personal level, all of us being a family that, in spite of some fights now and then, always get back together to laugh together, cry together, enjoy life together.

I truly value this community. Everyone has been a help in my life, and Pinkie has been an absolute miracle for me. She, quite literally, saved my life. Without her, I don't know where I would be right now.

----


Okay, I took a minute to dry off some tears after writing that. I may have gotten a bit carried away, hehe... Still, I'd love to hear everyone else's stories!