44% Extroverted, versus introverted. I like my personal space, but I'm very amiable and sociable otherwise.
45% Intuitive, versus observant. It's true that I'm intuitive - I've recounted many experiences where intuition comes into play - but that intuition is based in my observations, so... practical, pragmatic, open-minded and imaginative at once is what I am.
8% Feeling, versus thinking. This sounds about right. I'm right in the middle when it comes to thought versus emotion when making practical decisions; I like people to cooperate towards an end goal, and do so kindly, because that's the most efficient way. I can look at things from an objective or a subjective standpoint, and usually do both.
44% Prospecting, versus judging. Another interesting category. I do love to keep options open, because flexibility in a plan is very important, I'd say, but at another level, I'm extremely decisive, as many of my friends would say. Clarity, predictability and closure in the making of decisions are all just as important as flexibility. I call it, accounting for probability. This is actually one of the issues me and Twilight have run into ruts on; she's the opposite, focused intently on planning, sometimes without accounting for extremely unexpected events in favor of trying to cram as much work into a short period as possible. Oh, I hate that. The work thing, not the unexpected events, because usually her scheduling works out, it just totally has to be redone if something really huge happens and gets in the way.
74% Assertive, versus turbulent. Sounds about right, and this would explain why a few people around here find me difficult to talk to, but then again I don't need a personality quiz to know that; I've been called "intimidating" before, just because of the way I speak to people. Very direct, very to-the-point, very down-to-earth. I'm confident!
>>>My comments will be in blue.
Interesting, overall. Not quite 100% accurate for me, but still a neat prediction that got a lot of things right. Neat thread, too.
45% Intuitive, versus observant. It's true that I'm intuitive - I've recounted many experiences where intuition comes into play - but that intuition is based in my observations, so... practical, pragmatic, open-minded and imaginative at once is what I am.
8% Feeling, versus thinking. This sounds about right. I'm right in the middle when it comes to thought versus emotion when making practical decisions; I like people to cooperate towards an end goal, and do so kindly, because that's the most efficient way. I can look at things from an objective or a subjective standpoint, and usually do both.
44% Prospecting, versus judging. Another interesting category. I do love to keep options open, because flexibility in a plan is very important, I'd say, but at another level, I'm extremely decisive, as many of my friends would say. Clarity, predictability and closure in the making of decisions are all just as important as flexibility. I call it, accounting for probability. This is actually one of the issues me and Twilight have run into ruts on; she's the opposite, focused intently on planning, sometimes without accounting for extremely unexpected events in favor of trying to cram as much work into a short period as possible. Oh, I hate that. The work thing, not the unexpected events, because usually her scheduling works out, it just totally has to be redone if something really huge happens and gets in the way.
74% Assertive, versus turbulent. Sounds about right, and this would explain why a few people around here find me difficult to talk to, but then again I don't need a personality quiz to know that; I've been called "intimidating" before, just because of the way I speak to people. Very direct, very to-the-point, very down-to-earth. I'm confident!
>>>My comments will be in blue.
![[+]](images/collapse_collapsed.gif "[+]")
Spoiler
ENFP Personality (“The Campaigner”)
"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive."
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
The ENFP personality is a true free spirit. They are often the life of the party, but unlike Explorers, they are less interested in the sheer excitement and pleasure of the moment than they are in enjoying the social and emotional connections they make with others. Charming, independent, energetic and compassionate, the 7% of the population that they comprise can certainly be felt in any crowd.
You Can Change the World With Just an Idea
ENFP personalityMore than just sociable people-pleasers though, ENFPs, like all their Diplomat cousins, are shaped by their Intuitive (N) quality, allowing them to read between the lines with curiosity and energy. They tend to see life as a big, complex puzzle where everything is connected – but unlike Analysts, who tend to see that puzzle as a series of systemic machinations, ENFPs see it through a prism of emotion, compassion and mysticism, and are always looking for a deeper meaning.
>>>I see it both ways. It depends on the context of the purposes for which I'm pondering life.
ENFPs are fiercely independent, and much more than stability and security, they crave creativity and freedom.
Many other types are likely to find these qualities irresistible, and if they've found a cause that sparks their imagination, ENFPs will bring an energy that oftentimes thrusts them into the spotlight, held up by their peers as a leader and a guru – but this isn't always where independence-loving ENFPs want to be. Worse still if they find themselves beset by the administrative tasks and routine maintenance that can accompany a leadership position. ENFPs' self-esteem is dependent on their ability to come up with original solutions, and they need to know that they have the freedom to be innovative – they can quickly lose patience or become dejected if they get trapped in a boring role.
>>>I like to lead because I know I'm capable at it, but I don't like to be the only one in charge, or at the very top, because I work best with others to work off of. So, this holds true for me.
Don't Lose That 'Little Spark of Madness'
Luckily, ENFPs know how to relax, and they are perfectly capable of switching from a passionate, driven idealist in the workplace to that imaginative and enthusiastic free spirit on the dance floor, often with a suddenness that can surprise even their closest friends. Being in the mix also gives them a chance to connect emotionally with others, giving them cherished insight into what motivates their friends and colleagues. They believe that everyone should take the time to recognize and express their feelings, and their empathy and sociability make that a natural conversation topic.
>>>Emotions are a great motivator for doing things, but they shouldn't be the only motivator. I do enjoy them the most, though.
The ENFP personality type needs to be careful, however – if they rely too much on their intuition, assume or anticipate too much about a friend's motivations, they can misread the signals and frustrate plans that a more straightforward approach would have made simple. This kind of social stress is the bugbear that keeps harmony-focused Diplomats awake at night. ENFPs are very emotional and sensitive, and when they step on someone's toes, they both feel it.
>>>It's true that I'm very sensitive to others' emotions, and even feel them myself, but I'm not necessarily susceptible to them if I shut them out, which I'm quite capable of doing. As for being careful, learning not to make presumptions is something I've known how to do for a long time. That doesn't mean I don't fuck up from time to time, but it's much less common.
ENFPs will spend a lot of time exploring social relationships, feelings and ideas before they find something that really rings true. But when they finally do find their place in the world, their imagination, empathy and courage are likely to produce incredible results.
>>>Sounds about right, although I'm fond of temporary solutions if I'm going to spend quite some time seeking answers.
ENFP Strengths and Weaknesses
ENFP Strengths
Curious – When it comes to new ideas, ENFPs aren't interested in brooding – they want to go out and experience things, and don't hesitate to step out of their comfort zones to do so. ENFPs are imaginative and open-minded, seeing all things as part of a big, mysterious puzzle called life.
>>>It's not really that mysterious if you think about it. It is big, though its many parts - which I focus on - are small. Some say I do hesitate to step out of my comfort zone, but that's not true. I have my reasons, and they're always good.
Observant – ENFPs believe that there are no irrelevant actions, that every shift in sentiment, every move and every idea is part of something bigger. To satisfy their curiosity, ENFPs try to notice all of these things, and to never miss a moment.
>>>I like to think there are reasons for anything, even the craziest shit I've ever seen has some form of incredibly convoluted logic. There are, however, irrelevancies where thoughts or things become obsolete. When you move on to something different, or perhaps better. You might regress at some point to those old feelings for some reason or another, but that doesn't change that they were once irrelevant, or will be again. It also doesn't mean that they will forever remain irrelevant. What context are they bringing the concept of relevance up in, anyway? I feel like I might be kind of missing their point, here.
Energetic and Enthusiastic – As they observe, forming new connections and ideas, ENFPs won't hold their tongues – they're excited about their findings, and share them with anyone who'll listen. This infectious enthusiasm has the dual benefit of giving ENFPs a chance to make more social connections, and of giving them a new source of information and experience, as they fit their new friends' opinions into their existing ideas.
>>>I greatly appreciate perspective of any sort. It helps me to improve my projections' intelligence... among other things.
Excellent Communicators – It's a good thing that ENFPs have such strong people skills, or they'd never express these ideas. ENFPs enjoy both small talk and deep, meaningful conversations, which are just two sides of the same coin for them, and are adept at steering conversations towards their desired subjects in ways that feel completely natural and unforced.
>>>I define digression as movement in conversation, not necessarily utterly derailing it. I'm very fond of digression.
Know How to Relax – It's not all “nature of the cosmos” discussions with ENFPs – people with this personality type know that sometimes, nothing is as important as simply having fun and experiencing life's joys. That Intuitive trait lets ENFPs know that it's time to shake things up, and these wild bursts of enthusiastic energy can surprise even their closest friends.
>>>Pfft. Who wants to spend all their time pondering the "nature of the cosmos"? It's not like that's the "ultimate subject" or anything. Hell, just the name of that subject, the "nature of the cosmos," sounds pretentious as hell. There's more to life than its very meaning.
Very Popular and Friendly – All this adaptability and spontaneity comes together to form a person who is approachable, interesting and exciting, with a cooperative and altruistic spirit and friendly, empathetic disposition. ENFPs get along with pretty much everyone, and their circles of friends stretch far and wide.
>>>Hi, internet. I'm a ponylover, and I'll be your best friend.
ENFP Weaknesses
Poor Practical Skills – When it comes to conceiving ideas and starting projects, especially involving other people, ENFPs have exceptional talent. Unfortunately their skill with upkeep, administration, and follow-through on those projects struggles. Without more hands-on people to help push day-to-day things along, ENFPs' ideas are likely to remain just that – ideas.
>>>Sometimes. I can get a project done myself, or with a small group, by carrying it through, but sometimes I just like to direct, rather than construct. Not often, though.
Find it Difficult to Focus – ENFPs are natural explorers of interpersonal connections and philosophy, but this backfires when what needs to be done is that TPS report sitting right in front of them. It's hard for ENFPs to maintain interest as tasks drift towards routine, administrative matters, and away from broader concepts.
>>>I'm not very fond of philosophy, actually. It has its practical purposes, which it serves and I enjoy, but discussing? Only if it comes up or someone's ideals are in direct conflict with mine. Then it's a much more interesting topic. I can get into assignments and stuff like that if I just try. It's just annoying to try when it feels so utterly pointless...
Overthink Things – ENFPs don't take things at face value – they look for underlying motives in even the simplest things. It's not uncommon for ENFPs to lose a bit of sleep asking themselves why someone did what they did, what it might mean, and what to do about it.
>>>I tend to come to probable conclusions about this rather quickly, and don't spend too much time thinking about it. If I do see it as being way too open-ended to come to conclusions, I typically leave it alone until I have more information. It's only logical.
Get Stressed Easily – All this overthinking isn't just for their own benefit – ENFPs, especially Turbulent ones, are very sensitive, and care deeply about others' feelings. A consequence of their popularity is that others often look to them for guidance and help, which takes time, and it's easy to see why ENFPs sometimes get overwhelmed, especially when they can't say yes to every request.
>>>I'm very, very rarely stressed or worried or anxious or whatever. It used to be more often, but I've learned. I accept that I can't say yes to everything, and if someone else has a problem with that, I must point out that I simply cannot neglect myself in favor of them - it would be an inefficient and unfair trade. If they feel bad about that? They're just going to have to deal. That doesn't mean I won't try to make it up to them later or something, if I owe it to them. Also, overthinking? I say, if you think about something enough, the clarity you sought, and found, will bring you peace. You can make something overly convoluted by adding complexity where it doesn't belong, which is commonly referred to as overthinking, but that's not really overthinking, that's just being oblivious to the crux of the matter.
Highly Emotional – While emotional expression is healthy and natural, with ENFPs even viewing it as a core part of their identity, it can come out strongly enough to cause problems for this personality type. Particularly when under stress, criticism or conflict, ENFPs can experience emotional bursts that are counter-productive at best.
>>>Not something I have a problem with. I embrace criticism, but I always question it. If it survives the test of scrutiny from a fair perspective, it's legitimate.
Independent to a Fault – ENFPs loathe being micromanaged and restrained by heavy-handed rules – they want to be seen as highly independent masters of their own fates, even possessors of an altruistic wisdom that goes beyond draconian law. The challenge for ENFPs is that they live in a world of checks and balances, a pill they are not happy to swallow.
>>>Well... I like being seen that way, but I know I am that way - highly independent. My fate is my own, but if I do conform to some sort of standard, it's for the sake of harmony or my own volition. What the hell is "draconian law," anyway?
ENFP Relationships
When it comes to relationships, there's hardly anyone around who is more excited than ENFPs to share with their partners the bounty of ideas and eye-opening experiences that life has to offer. For people with the ENFP personality type, relationships are a joyous process of mutual exploration and imagination, a chance to connect with another soul. ENFPs take their relationships seriously, and are known for their uninhibited and unshakeable devotion to the people to whom they've committed their hearts.
>>>This is very much true for me. Gosh, I love Twilight.
ENFPs have the advantage of irresistible charm when it comes to attracting a partner – ENFPs' warmth, excitement and passion are simply alluring.
>>>Passion is my middle name. :Raritywink:
In the dating phase, if ENFPs can be said to tolerate such a formal process to begin with, they will show these qualities by showering their new flames with affection, and will do everything they can to build a strong relationship by demonstrating their devotion and reliability by whatever means available.
>>>This paragraph makes me think of a guy tripping over himself to show a girl he can be the proper gentleman. Which... really isn't accurate, if that's the sort of thing that they meant. I love dates, they're an opportunity to focus on the one you love, or on friends you bring along. I know all too well the importance of not overdoing it, especially early on. Pacing is a thing. I suppose it could also be called "tact."
You Cannot Live Without a Fire
Long-distance relationships are quite common among ENFPs, as they view physical distance as just another idea, no match for concepts like love. This gives them the chance to demonstrate their commitment, both by staying true despite the physical separation, and with overtures of effort to surprise their partners, crossing that distance on a whim. These are demonstrations of ENFPs' mystery, idealism and deep emotion, and such efforts often keep the flames of a relationship burning bright.
>>>I love surprising Twilight with twists and spontaneous acts of kindness or affection. It's a nice feeling to suddenly receive a "thinking of you" note or passing comment when you're having an intense day.
People with the ENFP personality type express these ideals sexually as well, exploring the physical with imagination and passion, viewing these times together as a chance to let their feelings for each other shine, sharing their love and affection. ENFPs will willingly experiment with their partners, even early in a relationship, but they can also be oddly perfectionistic, believing that these physical acts are a representation of their deeper love, and as such should not be performed carelessly. This perfectionism is also a reflection of their sensitivity, their desire to not disappoint, and ENFPs appreciate a well-placed compliment.
>>>Not quite. Sex for fun is cool too. I personally enjoy it a lot more though if there's some sort of intimate connection, part of the reason I'm a one-gal guy. That doesn't mean I don't get capriciously, playfully flirtatious with my friends, though! A few friends of mine can attest to the fact that I'm a tease.
inkiesmile: As for the whole perfectionism angle... I don't really see it that way, obviously. I do love to experiment, and I'm open to a lot of things early on, but ultimately I think Twilight is more eager to explore than I am. Hehe.
Not everyone can handle the excitement, occasional neediness, and emotional ups and downs that this philosophy entails, whether long-distance or long-term, mystical or physical. ENFPs constantly explore new ideas and improvements, fantasize about future possibilities – in dating, this tendency to look at potential rather than the present can be self-defeating, and their spontaneity makes it harder to stay focused on their end goal of a long-term relationship. If their partners aren't able to reciprocate these acts of excitement and devotion, ENFPs will likely end up feeling unhappy and misunderstood.
>>>One of the biggest reasons to restrain one's excitement. Meeting new people, and engaging in romance with friends, is fun, but the level of excitement must change dynamically with the development of the relationship. In other words, it's not so much the restraining of excitement, for me, as it is the cultivating of excitement. It's well-controlled, as long as it must be.
So, You Think You Know the Real Me?
ENFPs go all-in with their relationships, and if they fall apart despite their efforts, they can end up plagued with questions about why the relationship failed and what they could have done differently – without a buoy, these thoughts can crush ENFPs' self-esteem as they sink into depression. It's important for ENFP personalities, as with anyone, to remember that relationships are in all ways mutual – mutual interest, mutual growth, and mutual responsibility – and they can't be solely accountable.
>>>This is something I'm well aware of. In fact, I've been the one to call it off with all my exes, if I see things just aren't going to work out. Of course I ask the question of 'why,' or 'how,' for that's how I come to the conclusion of whether I should break it off or not, but questions don't bring me depression. I've always thought of that as kind of silly, questions bringing confusion or sadness. Answering them brings clarity, and failure to answer them is an indication that you don't know enough yet, or perhaps that there's something impeding your ability to answer it. And then you have more questions to ask in order to fix those problems. Does that not make sense to anyone else?
After a trial like this, ENFPs may be reluctant to open up and commit, and it can take years for a partner to navigate their bewildering depth and intensity, falsely believing that ENFPs' enthusiasm and apparent openness means that they wear everything on their sleeves. The reality is that ENFPs' spontaneity, the seeming inconsistency and erraticism the untrained eye sees, isn't a product of flightiness or lack of depth, but the opposite – it is a drive to express ideas about a mystical, all-encompassing energy, in the confines of a physical world, and underlying it all is the uniting principle of love, expressed in many different ways, but unshakeable and infinite at its core.
>>>Possibly a good thing. The longer it takes to figure your partner(s) out in a relationship, the longer things stay particularly interesting on the level of curiosity. However, once understanding is reached, there are many more opportunities that arise which can be explored in a realm of comfort for all parties. It's debatable, I suppose. Also, I don't really like how this author refers to love as a 'mystical, all-encompassing energy.' It kind of reminds me of a certain crackpot we all know who has a penchant for mysticism in so many unpleasant ways. Maybe that's just me.
ENFP Friends
As friends, ENFPs are cheerful and supportive, always sharing and developing ideas, and staying open-minded, taking in others' thoughts and feelings. This warmth and sincerity makes people with the ENFP personality type masters of drawing people out of their shells, and as a result they tend to have a huge circle of friends.
>>>Some of my friends jokingly call me "psychic" for my ability to read them like open books. I'll admit, that feels pretty cool.
As with other relationships, ENFPs view their friendships as opportunities to experience another angle of the universe, and tend to imbue potential friendships with that weighty and idealistic quality.
>>>Again, why does this author insist upon referring to emotions as some sort of grand, mysterious subject, especially on such a needlessly large scale? I mean, "another angle of the universe"? What about, "another point of view"? Another perspective? It doesn't have to be all about the big picture. I don't think the big picture really has any relevance here on the personal level, at least not all the time. I do, however, consider friendships important, if only because they're valuable for... many reasons, some of which are objective, and others are subjective.
An Exciting Adventure
More outgoing types will naturally gravitate towards them, but ENFPs will also go to great lengths and be surprisingly persistent in their efforts to get to know more reserved personalities. Their ability to tune into others and speak their language with that characteristic infectious enthusiasm helps them in this endeavor, and the allure of mystery that reserved types, especially Introverted Intuitives, bring to the table will keep ENFPs intrigued for years. These personality types may never be able to reciprocate the breadth of human interest that ENFPs present, but they do appreciate ENFPs' efforts.
>>>One of the many reasons I find Twilight so... interesting. She's kind of the opposite - she can be sociable, but she's really quite reserved if she doesn't need to be talkative. I love getting her to come out, or break away from her schedule for whatever reason I have in mind. It's fun.
But ENFPs' interest in others can be a double-edged sword – this pure idealism comes with certain expectations, and too often ENFPs hold their friends in an unrealistic light, expecting them to keep up with the constant flow of ideas and experiences that they consider integral to life. ENFPs put their whole hearts into their friendships, and it can come as a shock for them to find that their friends aren't the flawless Titans that they believed them to be. Whether it's simple social fatigue or a focus on the physical and the practical instead of the mystical, people with the ENFP personality type can find themselves disappointed by what they see as a lack of substance beneath the surface.
>>>Substance comes in many forms, from the artist to the engineer. There are many disciplines in life to strive for and be proud of, all of which having some important place in a community. Just one of the many reasons to celebrate diversity! I know my friends aren't flawless, because they're human... or... equine, too. To believe anyone could be flawless is a delusion, I say, and I'm not "purely idealistic," I'm realistic, because even with flaws, there are still many reasons to celebrate another person.
ENFPs tend to get deeply involved in others' lives, going to great lengths and efforts to be the selfless, caring and supportive people they are, and all the while forget to take care of themselves. Both in terms of basic needs like financial stability and rest, as well as more emotional needs like mutual understanding and reciprocation, ENFP personalities tend to give much more of themselves than most are even capable of giving back. This sort of imbalance isn't sustainable, as (seemingly) one-sided generosity often leads to criticism and resentment on both sides.
>>>I already stated that I know not to neglect myself, but... from time to time, I overestimate my own tolerance for some sort of annoyance I'm coping with and end up frustrating myself, but I never place the blame on another. I recognize that I should have been more open about how I was doing, so that those I interact with could act accordingly. If that's the case. And I know to change my own generosity dynamically to match a friend's, because I know giving too much can make them feel awkward or something.
Making Life Spectacular
Luckily, ENFPs are open-minded and sincere enough in their friendships, and connect with and understand even their acquaintances well enough, that they recognize that not everyone expresses themselves in the same ways, and that that's okay. Their sensitivity may make it too challenging to play with more critical and argumentative personalities, such as strongly expressed Thinking (T) and Judging (J) types, but they do appreciate, even cherish, the company of most anyone who appreciates theirs, and the adventures and experiences they have together are the stuff a good life is made of.
>>>Yeah, for the most part. I can deal with most other people as long as, on some level of reason, be it an objective level or a subjective level, or whatever, they're agreeable.
ENFP Parents
If there is anything that makes ENFPs great parents, it's the sense of wonder they have for all things new and beautiful, a sense that they will be able to share with their children every day as they learn and grow. Throughout their children's lives, ENFPs provide a combination of almost overwhelming love and support, and an unstructured environment revolving around freedom and creativity. This in no way means that people with the ENFP personality type will simply leave their children to their own devices without guidance – rather, ENFP parents want to share in their children's perspective, share in a world without bounds.
>>>I admire the tigress. She lets her cub hunt, even get into a scuffle with their prey, but stays nearby to supervise. She only interferes if her cub is in mortal danger or something. I like that. It builds trust between a child and a parent if you, as the parent, introduce them to potentially dangerous things, like ironing clothes or using the stove. Or, hell, just new things, as long as you don't get in their way any more than necessary. You know?
ENFP parents are playful and warm, and love to see their children excited, playing in and experimenting with the world around them. It is likely that ENFP parents will encourage this play and growth by suggesting activities and lessons.
>>>Yep.
ENFPs will embrace and encourage productive interests as they arise, sweeping away dolls and dinosaurs when interests shift to the oceans, and sweeping away the fish when tastes change again, to the stars.
>>>Without productivity, how can one grow? Holding on to tokens of the past is fun, but it's important to make way for the future.
While they often enough recognize the value of structure and predictability, ENFP parents are unlikely to have the heart (or as they may see it, the lack of heart) to establish these limitations themselves. They may need to depend on their partners to provide some necessary guidelines and discipline from time to time, but ENFP parents will always have the advantage of their open-minded and empathetic nature, making them not just parents, but friends who their children feel comfortable confiding in. They needn't always depend on their children broaching the subject either, as ENFPs have a natural skill in spotting emotional disharmony or physical discomfort in others.
>>>Heart's got nothing to do with boundaries like these. I'm not gonna let my kid stay up late and miss an appointment - just because I don't want to upset my kid doesn't mean that, by conforming to their desires, I don't upset the person whose time we'd have wasted. Like a teacher, or doctor. It's important for everyone that when an agreement is made, it's honored, because otherwise, you'd be dishonest for going back on an agreement, dishonorable in the process, and irresponsible for wasting your own time and the time of another. What would it teach your kids if you didn't set any boundaries? To only care about their own wants, or needs? I think there's a name for that. Spoiling them? Yeah, that. Unless you have some sort of legitimate explanation which overrides the appointment in priority, in which case, it's perfectly understandable. As for always being someone my kids confide in... that's one of my biggest hopes, slash fears. I don't want to lose touch with them in the future. Got to build and maintain a relationship now.
Go On, Spread Your Wings
As their children approach the teenage years, all this emotion and attention can start to cloy, and their children may seek a more private independence. This can be a challenge for people with the ENFP personality type – they have strong emotions, and invest those emotions heavily in the things and people they care about. While they may not be big on using proven ideas, ENFPs do like to see whether or not their ideas work, and this applies to their thoughts on parenting, too. As their adolescent children withdraw, they leave an unsolved mystery that can last for years, leaving their ENFP parents wondering if their ideas on raising their children actually work, actually result in happy, independent and creative adults.
>>>I have faith that things will turn out okay. No one knows what they're going into when they first become a parent, but we all try our best. Or... some of us do. Those who have the ability to balance attention to the cultivation of empathy and emotional bonds with attention to critical thinking from an objective standpoint, and instilling a sense of responsibility and independence in their child, are bound to do something right. Right? And hey, proven ideas are fantastic. They're at the very least something to fall back on if your out-of-the-box ideas don't work, and should always be consulted if possible before putting into motion a new, unproven idea, because you never know if your idea had been proven in the past, or is a different level of complexity, but around the same concept of your ideas... etc.
Luckily for them, so long as they raise their children with a sense of productive independence, rather than an aimless, against-the-grain antipathy, ENFPs will find that their children have developed a strong sense of self and self-worth, going confidently out into the big, wide world at their own pace and in their own style, knowing that they have both themselves and their ENFP parents to depend on.
>>>That "big, wide world" is full of little people. For someone who talks about "emotional connections" a lot, this person doesn't seem too keen on referring to the individual level. It seems, in a world where we're so small, some of us cannot stop thinking big. And, don't get me wrong, there are things to look at in a larger scope, but not that often is it actually practical to think that way.
ENFP Careers
“Can't I fly helicopters AND be an oceanographer who writes songs and cooks?” It's a big world out there – perhaps even a little too big. ENFPs are fascinated by new ideas, both in terms of developments in fields they are already familiar with, and when new subjects come along. The trick for people with the ENFP personality type is to take advantage of this quality, this wonder with the magnificent breadth and detail in the world, and to use it to propel themselves further and deeper than others are willing or able to go.
>>>Another thing I already take advantage of, actually. Being decisive in whatever discipline you choose to follow is important for obvious reasons. I'm disappointed that not all people realize that, or are willing or able to keep their focus... focused, but that's just something some people need to learn. There are lots of things every person needs to learn. So... I guess I'm not disappointed, actually. Didn't mean that.
If there's a challenge ENFPs face when selecting a career, it isn't that they lack talent or options or drive, it's that there are so many things out there that are just cool.
>>>I don't know about that, my drive is focused on specific disciplines at the moment and the things I want to do just have to wait until my drive is ready to shift. I probably could force it, but hey, I don't want to. What a dilemma!
The Opening of a Door Can Be a Wonderfully Joyous Moment
Chief among ENFPs' talents is their people skills, a quality that is even more valuable now than ever. Even in traditional Analyst strongholds like engineering, systems analysis and the sciences, ENFPs' ability to network and match the communication styles of their audience means that even as they explore new challenges on their own, they will be able to work with others, explore others' perspectives and glean new insights into their projects. Much of modern progress stems from incorporating other studies into typically disassociated fields, and no one is better equipped to merge broad interests than talented, energetic and future-minded ENFPs.
>>>Sounds about right.
And while Thinking types may be better at applying logic to systems and machines, people with the ENFP personality type are able to apply that same logic to human interactions and networks, using their exceptional social perception to find out what makes people tick. This lends ENFPs a solid foothold in any human science or service, from psychology, counseling and teaching to politics, diplomacy and detective work. All of these fields have another important similarity: they are in constant development, shifting, presenting new angles and new approaches. It's simply not possible to be good in these fields and content with the way things are, and this is where ENFPs truly shine.
>>>Some people tell me I should be a counselor or something, but it's just something I'm good at. What I'm passionate about? Other peoples' passions. I like helping people figure out what they want to do in life. I think 'career counselor' might be an interesting choice, but then again, I do want to write...
Too Many Bosses, Too Few Workers
Where ENFPs do not shine is in systems of strict regimentation and hierarchy, such as military service. ENFPs thrive on the ability to question the status quo and explore the alternatives, and if this is a quality that is not just unappreciated but actually frowned upon, this will not only make them unhappy, but it may even threaten their emotional stability. Repetition, predictability, boredom… while some Sentinel types may appreciate predictability and clear hierarchies, these are not selling points for ENFPs. People with the ENFP personality type need to feel like they're pushing boundaries and exploring ideas, and should focus on interests and careers that encourage that.
>>>I'm a black belt and lived for years with someone in the navy, who urged me to keep disciplined even in my daily activities. I've got pretty good experience with working within the system, especially ones with highly disciplinary components, and it's not all that bad. For example, the discipline in martial arts is there to hone the body to ultimately improve form, stamina, and mental acuity. All important things for martial arts. What I don't like is if, when I'm working one-on-one with someone, they don't hear me out when I ask them a question or tell them something important and relevant. Every damn time that happens, I bring it up later and they're like, "Oh, why didn't you bring it up sooner?" Well, maybe if they let me... urgh. An apprentice must be humble before a master, because the master's wisdom and discipline in their specialization will carry through to them. The master, however, must also be open-minded to the innovation of the apprentice. Not every method works for everyone, and sometimes, in knowing much about something, a newcomer's observations could astutely point out that which a master neglected. There's always something to learn from another person, on the basis of sheer perspective alone, so there's no good reason to silence an attentive student in that sort of situation. Maybe delay them, but hell, not put them off the subject entirely until the end of class. You get the idea.
Many more career options satisfy these needs, and not just the scientific ones – writing, journalism, acting and TV reporting all give ENFPs a chance to explore something new every day and stir the pot a little while they're at it. It may come to pass though, that the best way forward for ENFP personalities is to establish themselves as entrepreneurs and consultants, blazing their own trails and taking on whatever project is most fascinating. So long as they get to use their people skills, identify and achieve their own goals and inspire their colleagues and followers, ENFPs will be happy.
>>>I wonder what sort of practical application that sort of outlook would have in a modern job market.
ENFP in the Workplace
There are two basic things that ENFPs seek most in the workplace: The chance to explore new ideas, and the chance to conduct that exploration alongside other people who share their excitement. These qualities show through at all levels of hierarchy, though much like other Diplomat personality types, ENFPs would prefer that there be hardly a hierarchy at all. People with the ENFP personality type possess warmth, creativity, and an open-mindedness that makes them excellent listeners. If these qualities are recognized by their employers, they will always be able to count on their ENFP employees to innovate and boost morale.
>>>A hierarchy is sort of irrelevant in general, when people assume various roles on their own, but it can be valuable or even necessary in some places. What would the military be if it existed as a seething mass of individuals, all pulling in different directions? You can't have that in an army. Those higher up have trained to get their; their experience is something to have faith in when taking orders, typically.
ENFP Subordinates
ENFPs are growth-oriented, and as subordinates they'll impress their managers with their creativity and adaptability. People with the ENFP personality type are excellent listeners, able to analyze and understand others' perspectives effortlessly. It's perhaps this quality that most makes ENFPs intolerant of micromanagement – the way they see it, they understand what's been asked of them, and all they require is the freedom to accomplish their task. If this need isn't met, managers may find a quickly stressed ENFP subordinate.
>>>Why would you not give someone you just ordered to complete a task the freedom to complete that task?
To a certain extent though, some direct management is often necessary, as ENFPs are notorious for letting their attention slip from one project to the next before they've dotted their I's and crossed their T's. ENFPs love exploring new ideas and learning new things, and once something becomes familiar, its allure starts to fade. But, if managers are able to maintain a spirit of guidance and camaraderie instead of "bossiness", they will find loyal and devoted contributors in their ENFP subordinates.
>>>You can maintain friendliness while still directing business or giving orders, at least with some people. It's often not that hard.
ENFP Colleagues
ENFPs are people-people, and as far as the workplace is concerned, this quality shows through best among colleagues. More than just coworkers, ENFPs view their colleagues as friends, people who they take a genuine interest in, providing support and cheer when they're down or stressed. People with the ENFP personality type are warm and optimistic, always searching for and usually finding win-win situations for everyone.
>>>Or realistic, and really fucking persistent until some sort of solution is found.
Brainstorms among equals are ENFPs' forte, and they listen to different viewpoints and suggestions not just with tolerance, but genuine excitement. Their ability to relax and have fun will always make them popular around the water cooler, but what sets ENFPs apart is that they can transition that popularity into natural leadership, instinctively picking up on colleagues' motivations and pulling their teams together, pushing them forward towards whatever truth they've been tasked to find.
>>>I like working with others, it's preferable because I have other people to do the work for me while I inspire them effortlessly. Talk about a win-win! No, I'm kidding, but still, working with others helps to smooth out ideas with alternate perspectives.
ENFP Managers
ENFPs are not great fans of heavy hierarchy and bureaucracy, and this is most evident when they take on the role of manager. As managers, ENFP personalities behave much like they do as colleagues – they establish real friendships, and use their broad popularity to inspire and motivate, taking on the role of leader, working alongside their subordinates, rather than shouting from behind their desks. ENFPs will tend to believe in the concept of intrinsic motivation, the idea that things are worth doing for their own sake, not because of some convoluted system of punishments and rewards.
>>>Hey, the rewards can still be nice. They don't really matter when you love what you do, but they're nice to get anyway.
Unfortunately, not everyone buys into this philosophy – challenges arise when faced with subordinates who actually prefer to be closely directed, with clearly defined objectives and timetables, people who are just doing their jobs. More challenging still are those rare moments when a reprimand is simply necessary – while ENFPs prefer to meet dissent with an open ear, and to use their excellent capacity for sensing mood and morale to preempt such an act to begin with, sometimes the carrot and the stick are necessary, and using them is the biggest challenge for the ENFP personality type. But ENFPs' capacity for adjusting their communication to most any style will always shine through, helping to smooth things over and adapt to the needs of their team.
>>>Why not be specific in instructions? I hate vagueness, especially if it's delivered after I've asked for specifics. As for punishments, I have no problem calling out bullshit when I see it. A dishonorable action is trouble for everyone in a workplace community, because if someone doesn't pull their own weight, someone else needs to pick it up. And that isn't something worth any tolerance without a damn good excuse, but even then, if they're incapable of performing to acceptable, reasonable standards, they shouldn't be working there. I do like to understand why, though.
Conclusion
Few personality types are as creative and charismatic as ENFPs. Known for their idealism and enthusiasm, ENFPs are good at dealing with unexpected challenges and brightening the lives of those around them. ENFPs' imagination is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal growth.
Yet ENFPs can be easily tripped up in areas where idealism and kindness are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, staying calm under pressure, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder or making difficult decisions, ENFPs need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker traits and additional skills.
>>>Something which, if taken care of, at least for the most part, can make for an even nicer person than described, I presume.
What you have read so far is just an introduction into the complex concept that is the ENFP personality type. You may have muttered to yourself, "wow, this is so accurate it's a little creepy" or "finally, someone understands me!" You may have even asked "how do they know more about me than the people I'm closest to?"
>>>Oh, great, they're gonna advertise something to me now.
This is not a trick. You felt understood because you were. We've studied how ENFPs think and what they need to reach their full potential. And no, we did not spy on you – many of the challenges you've faced and will face in the future have been overcome by other ENFPs. You simply need to learn how they succeeded.
But in order to do that, you need to have a plan, a personal roadmap. The best car in the world will not take you to the right place if you do not know where you want to go. We have told you how ENFPs tend to behave in certain circumstances and what their key strengths and weaknesses are. Now we need to go much deeper into your personality type and answer "why?", "how?" and "what if?"
>>>Yep, knew it.
This knowledge is only the beginning of a lifelong journey. Are you ready to learn why ENFPs act in the way they do? What motivates and inspires you? What you are afraid of and what you secretly dream about? How you can unlock your true, exceptional potential?
Our premium profiles provide a roadmap towards a happier, more successful, and more versatile YOU! They are not for everyone though – you need to be willing and able to challenge yourself, to go beyond the obvious, to imagine and follow your own path instead of just going with the flow. If you want to take the reins into your own hands, we are here to help you.
>>>I think I'll be alright. Thanks.
"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive."
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
The ENFP personality is a true free spirit. They are often the life of the party, but unlike Explorers, they are less interested in the sheer excitement and pleasure of the moment than they are in enjoying the social and emotional connections they make with others. Charming, independent, energetic and compassionate, the 7% of the population that they comprise can certainly be felt in any crowd.
You Can Change the World With Just an Idea
ENFP personalityMore than just sociable people-pleasers though, ENFPs, like all their Diplomat cousins, are shaped by their Intuitive (N) quality, allowing them to read between the lines with curiosity and energy. They tend to see life as a big, complex puzzle where everything is connected – but unlike Analysts, who tend to see that puzzle as a series of systemic machinations, ENFPs see it through a prism of emotion, compassion and mysticism, and are always looking for a deeper meaning.
>>>I see it both ways. It depends on the context of the purposes for which I'm pondering life.
ENFPs are fiercely independent, and much more than stability and security, they crave creativity and freedom.
Many other types are likely to find these qualities irresistible, and if they've found a cause that sparks their imagination, ENFPs will bring an energy that oftentimes thrusts them into the spotlight, held up by their peers as a leader and a guru – but this isn't always where independence-loving ENFPs want to be. Worse still if they find themselves beset by the administrative tasks and routine maintenance that can accompany a leadership position. ENFPs' self-esteem is dependent on their ability to come up with original solutions, and they need to know that they have the freedom to be innovative – they can quickly lose patience or become dejected if they get trapped in a boring role.
>>>I like to lead because I know I'm capable at it, but I don't like to be the only one in charge, or at the very top, because I work best with others to work off of. So, this holds true for me.
Don't Lose That 'Little Spark of Madness'
Luckily, ENFPs know how to relax, and they are perfectly capable of switching from a passionate, driven idealist in the workplace to that imaginative and enthusiastic free spirit on the dance floor, often with a suddenness that can surprise even their closest friends. Being in the mix also gives them a chance to connect emotionally with others, giving them cherished insight into what motivates their friends and colleagues. They believe that everyone should take the time to recognize and express their feelings, and their empathy and sociability make that a natural conversation topic.
>>>Emotions are a great motivator for doing things, but they shouldn't be the only motivator. I do enjoy them the most, though.
The ENFP personality type needs to be careful, however – if they rely too much on their intuition, assume or anticipate too much about a friend's motivations, they can misread the signals and frustrate plans that a more straightforward approach would have made simple. This kind of social stress is the bugbear that keeps harmony-focused Diplomats awake at night. ENFPs are very emotional and sensitive, and when they step on someone's toes, they both feel it.
>>>It's true that I'm very sensitive to others' emotions, and even feel them myself, but I'm not necessarily susceptible to them if I shut them out, which I'm quite capable of doing. As for being careful, learning not to make presumptions is something I've known how to do for a long time. That doesn't mean I don't fuck up from time to time, but it's much less common.
ENFPs will spend a lot of time exploring social relationships, feelings and ideas before they find something that really rings true. But when they finally do find their place in the world, their imagination, empathy and courage are likely to produce incredible results.
>>>Sounds about right, although I'm fond of temporary solutions if I'm going to spend quite some time seeking answers.
ENFP Strengths and Weaknesses
ENFP Strengths
Curious – When it comes to new ideas, ENFPs aren't interested in brooding – they want to go out and experience things, and don't hesitate to step out of their comfort zones to do so. ENFPs are imaginative and open-minded, seeing all things as part of a big, mysterious puzzle called life.
>>>It's not really that mysterious if you think about it. It is big, though its many parts - which I focus on - are small. Some say I do hesitate to step out of my comfort zone, but that's not true. I have my reasons, and they're always good.
Observant – ENFPs believe that there are no irrelevant actions, that every shift in sentiment, every move and every idea is part of something bigger. To satisfy their curiosity, ENFPs try to notice all of these things, and to never miss a moment.
>>>I like to think there are reasons for anything, even the craziest shit I've ever seen has some form of incredibly convoluted logic. There are, however, irrelevancies where thoughts or things become obsolete. When you move on to something different, or perhaps better. You might regress at some point to those old feelings for some reason or another, but that doesn't change that they were once irrelevant, or will be again. It also doesn't mean that they will forever remain irrelevant. What context are they bringing the concept of relevance up in, anyway? I feel like I might be kind of missing their point, here.
Energetic and Enthusiastic – As they observe, forming new connections and ideas, ENFPs won't hold their tongues – they're excited about their findings, and share them with anyone who'll listen. This infectious enthusiasm has the dual benefit of giving ENFPs a chance to make more social connections, and of giving them a new source of information and experience, as they fit their new friends' opinions into their existing ideas.
>>>I greatly appreciate perspective of any sort. It helps me to improve my projections' intelligence... among other things.
Excellent Communicators – It's a good thing that ENFPs have such strong people skills, or they'd never express these ideas. ENFPs enjoy both small talk and deep, meaningful conversations, which are just two sides of the same coin for them, and are adept at steering conversations towards their desired subjects in ways that feel completely natural and unforced.
>>>I define digression as movement in conversation, not necessarily utterly derailing it. I'm very fond of digression.
Know How to Relax – It's not all “nature of the cosmos” discussions with ENFPs – people with this personality type know that sometimes, nothing is as important as simply having fun and experiencing life's joys. That Intuitive trait lets ENFPs know that it's time to shake things up, and these wild bursts of enthusiastic energy can surprise even their closest friends.
>>>Pfft. Who wants to spend all their time pondering the "nature of the cosmos"? It's not like that's the "ultimate subject" or anything. Hell, just the name of that subject, the "nature of the cosmos," sounds pretentious as hell. There's more to life than its very meaning.
Very Popular and Friendly – All this adaptability and spontaneity comes together to form a person who is approachable, interesting and exciting, with a cooperative and altruistic spirit and friendly, empathetic disposition. ENFPs get along with pretty much everyone, and their circles of friends stretch far and wide.
>>>Hi, internet. I'm a ponylover, and I'll be your best friend.
ENFP Weaknesses
Poor Practical Skills – When it comes to conceiving ideas and starting projects, especially involving other people, ENFPs have exceptional talent. Unfortunately their skill with upkeep, administration, and follow-through on those projects struggles. Without more hands-on people to help push day-to-day things along, ENFPs' ideas are likely to remain just that – ideas.
>>>Sometimes. I can get a project done myself, or with a small group, by carrying it through, but sometimes I just like to direct, rather than construct. Not often, though.
Find it Difficult to Focus – ENFPs are natural explorers of interpersonal connections and philosophy, but this backfires when what needs to be done is that TPS report sitting right in front of them. It's hard for ENFPs to maintain interest as tasks drift towards routine, administrative matters, and away from broader concepts.
>>>I'm not very fond of philosophy, actually. It has its practical purposes, which it serves and I enjoy, but discussing? Only if it comes up or someone's ideals are in direct conflict with mine. Then it's a much more interesting topic. I can get into assignments and stuff like that if I just try. It's just annoying to try when it feels so utterly pointless...
Overthink Things – ENFPs don't take things at face value – they look for underlying motives in even the simplest things. It's not uncommon for ENFPs to lose a bit of sleep asking themselves why someone did what they did, what it might mean, and what to do about it.
>>>I tend to come to probable conclusions about this rather quickly, and don't spend too much time thinking about it. If I do see it as being way too open-ended to come to conclusions, I typically leave it alone until I have more information. It's only logical.
Get Stressed Easily – All this overthinking isn't just for their own benefit – ENFPs, especially Turbulent ones, are very sensitive, and care deeply about others' feelings. A consequence of their popularity is that others often look to them for guidance and help, which takes time, and it's easy to see why ENFPs sometimes get overwhelmed, especially when they can't say yes to every request.
>>>I'm very, very rarely stressed or worried or anxious or whatever. It used to be more often, but I've learned. I accept that I can't say yes to everything, and if someone else has a problem with that, I must point out that I simply cannot neglect myself in favor of them - it would be an inefficient and unfair trade. If they feel bad about that? They're just going to have to deal. That doesn't mean I won't try to make it up to them later or something, if I owe it to them. Also, overthinking? I say, if you think about something enough, the clarity you sought, and found, will bring you peace. You can make something overly convoluted by adding complexity where it doesn't belong, which is commonly referred to as overthinking, but that's not really overthinking, that's just being oblivious to the crux of the matter.
Highly Emotional – While emotional expression is healthy and natural, with ENFPs even viewing it as a core part of their identity, it can come out strongly enough to cause problems for this personality type. Particularly when under stress, criticism or conflict, ENFPs can experience emotional bursts that are counter-productive at best.
>>>Not something I have a problem with. I embrace criticism, but I always question it. If it survives the test of scrutiny from a fair perspective, it's legitimate.
Independent to a Fault – ENFPs loathe being micromanaged and restrained by heavy-handed rules – they want to be seen as highly independent masters of their own fates, even possessors of an altruistic wisdom that goes beyond draconian law. The challenge for ENFPs is that they live in a world of checks and balances, a pill they are not happy to swallow.
>>>Well... I like being seen that way, but I know I am that way - highly independent. My fate is my own, but if I do conform to some sort of standard, it's for the sake of harmony or my own volition. What the hell is "draconian law," anyway?
ENFP Relationships
When it comes to relationships, there's hardly anyone around who is more excited than ENFPs to share with their partners the bounty of ideas and eye-opening experiences that life has to offer. For people with the ENFP personality type, relationships are a joyous process of mutual exploration and imagination, a chance to connect with another soul. ENFPs take their relationships seriously, and are known for their uninhibited and unshakeable devotion to the people to whom they've committed their hearts.
>>>This is very much true for me. Gosh, I love Twilight.
ENFPs have the advantage of irresistible charm when it comes to attracting a partner – ENFPs' warmth, excitement and passion are simply alluring.
>>>Passion is my middle name. :Raritywink:
In the dating phase, if ENFPs can be said to tolerate such a formal process to begin with, they will show these qualities by showering their new flames with affection, and will do everything they can to build a strong relationship by demonstrating their devotion and reliability by whatever means available.
>>>This paragraph makes me think of a guy tripping over himself to show a girl he can be the proper gentleman. Which... really isn't accurate, if that's the sort of thing that they meant. I love dates, they're an opportunity to focus on the one you love, or on friends you bring along. I know all too well the importance of not overdoing it, especially early on. Pacing is a thing. I suppose it could also be called "tact."
You Cannot Live Without a Fire
Long-distance relationships are quite common among ENFPs, as they view physical distance as just another idea, no match for concepts like love. This gives them the chance to demonstrate their commitment, both by staying true despite the physical separation, and with overtures of effort to surprise their partners, crossing that distance on a whim. These are demonstrations of ENFPs' mystery, idealism and deep emotion, and such efforts often keep the flames of a relationship burning bright.
>>>I love surprising Twilight with twists and spontaneous acts of kindness or affection. It's a nice feeling to suddenly receive a "thinking of you" note or passing comment when you're having an intense day.
People with the ENFP personality type express these ideals sexually as well, exploring the physical with imagination and passion, viewing these times together as a chance to let their feelings for each other shine, sharing their love and affection. ENFPs will willingly experiment with their partners, even early in a relationship, but they can also be oddly perfectionistic, believing that these physical acts are a representation of their deeper love, and as such should not be performed carelessly. This perfectionism is also a reflection of their sensitivity, their desire to not disappoint, and ENFPs appreciate a well-placed compliment.
>>>Not quite. Sex for fun is cool too. I personally enjoy it a lot more though if there's some sort of intimate connection, part of the reason I'm a one-gal guy. That doesn't mean I don't get capriciously, playfully flirtatious with my friends, though! A few friends of mine can attest to the fact that I'm a tease.
inkiesmile: As for the whole perfectionism angle... I don't really see it that way, obviously. I do love to experiment, and I'm open to a lot of things early on, but ultimately I think Twilight is more eager to explore than I am. Hehe.Not everyone can handle the excitement, occasional neediness, and emotional ups and downs that this philosophy entails, whether long-distance or long-term, mystical or physical. ENFPs constantly explore new ideas and improvements, fantasize about future possibilities – in dating, this tendency to look at potential rather than the present can be self-defeating, and their spontaneity makes it harder to stay focused on their end goal of a long-term relationship. If their partners aren't able to reciprocate these acts of excitement and devotion, ENFPs will likely end up feeling unhappy and misunderstood.
>>>One of the biggest reasons to restrain one's excitement. Meeting new people, and engaging in romance with friends, is fun, but the level of excitement must change dynamically with the development of the relationship. In other words, it's not so much the restraining of excitement, for me, as it is the cultivating of excitement. It's well-controlled, as long as it must be.
So, You Think You Know the Real Me?
ENFPs go all-in with their relationships, and if they fall apart despite their efforts, they can end up plagued with questions about why the relationship failed and what they could have done differently – without a buoy, these thoughts can crush ENFPs' self-esteem as they sink into depression. It's important for ENFP personalities, as with anyone, to remember that relationships are in all ways mutual – mutual interest, mutual growth, and mutual responsibility – and they can't be solely accountable.
>>>This is something I'm well aware of. In fact, I've been the one to call it off with all my exes, if I see things just aren't going to work out. Of course I ask the question of 'why,' or 'how,' for that's how I come to the conclusion of whether I should break it off or not, but questions don't bring me depression. I've always thought of that as kind of silly, questions bringing confusion or sadness. Answering them brings clarity, and failure to answer them is an indication that you don't know enough yet, or perhaps that there's something impeding your ability to answer it. And then you have more questions to ask in order to fix those problems. Does that not make sense to anyone else?
After a trial like this, ENFPs may be reluctant to open up and commit, and it can take years for a partner to navigate their bewildering depth and intensity, falsely believing that ENFPs' enthusiasm and apparent openness means that they wear everything on their sleeves. The reality is that ENFPs' spontaneity, the seeming inconsistency and erraticism the untrained eye sees, isn't a product of flightiness or lack of depth, but the opposite – it is a drive to express ideas about a mystical, all-encompassing energy, in the confines of a physical world, and underlying it all is the uniting principle of love, expressed in many different ways, but unshakeable and infinite at its core.
>>>Possibly a good thing. The longer it takes to figure your partner(s) out in a relationship, the longer things stay particularly interesting on the level of curiosity. However, once understanding is reached, there are many more opportunities that arise which can be explored in a realm of comfort for all parties. It's debatable, I suppose. Also, I don't really like how this author refers to love as a 'mystical, all-encompassing energy.' It kind of reminds me of a certain crackpot we all know who has a penchant for mysticism in so many unpleasant ways. Maybe that's just me.
ENFP Friends
As friends, ENFPs are cheerful and supportive, always sharing and developing ideas, and staying open-minded, taking in others' thoughts and feelings. This warmth and sincerity makes people with the ENFP personality type masters of drawing people out of their shells, and as a result they tend to have a huge circle of friends.
>>>Some of my friends jokingly call me "psychic" for my ability to read them like open books. I'll admit, that feels pretty cool.
As with other relationships, ENFPs view their friendships as opportunities to experience another angle of the universe, and tend to imbue potential friendships with that weighty and idealistic quality.
>>>Again, why does this author insist upon referring to emotions as some sort of grand, mysterious subject, especially on such a needlessly large scale? I mean, "another angle of the universe"? What about, "another point of view"? Another perspective? It doesn't have to be all about the big picture. I don't think the big picture really has any relevance here on the personal level, at least not all the time. I do, however, consider friendships important, if only because they're valuable for... many reasons, some of which are objective, and others are subjective.
An Exciting Adventure
More outgoing types will naturally gravitate towards them, but ENFPs will also go to great lengths and be surprisingly persistent in their efforts to get to know more reserved personalities. Their ability to tune into others and speak their language with that characteristic infectious enthusiasm helps them in this endeavor, and the allure of mystery that reserved types, especially Introverted Intuitives, bring to the table will keep ENFPs intrigued for years. These personality types may never be able to reciprocate the breadth of human interest that ENFPs present, but they do appreciate ENFPs' efforts.
>>>One of the many reasons I find Twilight so... interesting. She's kind of the opposite - she can be sociable, but she's really quite reserved if she doesn't need to be talkative. I love getting her to come out, or break away from her schedule for whatever reason I have in mind. It's fun.
But ENFPs' interest in others can be a double-edged sword – this pure idealism comes with certain expectations, and too often ENFPs hold their friends in an unrealistic light, expecting them to keep up with the constant flow of ideas and experiences that they consider integral to life. ENFPs put their whole hearts into their friendships, and it can come as a shock for them to find that their friends aren't the flawless Titans that they believed them to be. Whether it's simple social fatigue or a focus on the physical and the practical instead of the mystical, people with the ENFP personality type can find themselves disappointed by what they see as a lack of substance beneath the surface.
>>>Substance comes in many forms, from the artist to the engineer. There are many disciplines in life to strive for and be proud of, all of which having some important place in a community. Just one of the many reasons to celebrate diversity! I know my friends aren't flawless, because they're human... or... equine, too. To believe anyone could be flawless is a delusion, I say, and I'm not "purely idealistic," I'm realistic, because even with flaws, there are still many reasons to celebrate another person.
ENFPs tend to get deeply involved in others' lives, going to great lengths and efforts to be the selfless, caring and supportive people they are, and all the while forget to take care of themselves. Both in terms of basic needs like financial stability and rest, as well as more emotional needs like mutual understanding and reciprocation, ENFP personalities tend to give much more of themselves than most are even capable of giving back. This sort of imbalance isn't sustainable, as (seemingly) one-sided generosity often leads to criticism and resentment on both sides.
>>>I already stated that I know not to neglect myself, but... from time to time, I overestimate my own tolerance for some sort of annoyance I'm coping with and end up frustrating myself, but I never place the blame on another. I recognize that I should have been more open about how I was doing, so that those I interact with could act accordingly. If that's the case. And I know to change my own generosity dynamically to match a friend's, because I know giving too much can make them feel awkward or something.
Making Life Spectacular
Luckily, ENFPs are open-minded and sincere enough in their friendships, and connect with and understand even their acquaintances well enough, that they recognize that not everyone expresses themselves in the same ways, and that that's okay. Their sensitivity may make it too challenging to play with more critical and argumentative personalities, such as strongly expressed Thinking (T) and Judging (J) types, but they do appreciate, even cherish, the company of most anyone who appreciates theirs, and the adventures and experiences they have together are the stuff a good life is made of.
>>>Yeah, for the most part. I can deal with most other people as long as, on some level of reason, be it an objective level or a subjective level, or whatever, they're agreeable.
ENFP Parents
If there is anything that makes ENFPs great parents, it's the sense of wonder they have for all things new and beautiful, a sense that they will be able to share with their children every day as they learn and grow. Throughout their children's lives, ENFPs provide a combination of almost overwhelming love and support, and an unstructured environment revolving around freedom and creativity. This in no way means that people with the ENFP personality type will simply leave their children to their own devices without guidance – rather, ENFP parents want to share in their children's perspective, share in a world without bounds.
>>>I admire the tigress. She lets her cub hunt, even get into a scuffle with their prey, but stays nearby to supervise. She only interferes if her cub is in mortal danger or something. I like that. It builds trust between a child and a parent if you, as the parent, introduce them to potentially dangerous things, like ironing clothes or using the stove. Or, hell, just new things, as long as you don't get in their way any more than necessary. You know?
ENFP parents are playful and warm, and love to see their children excited, playing in and experimenting with the world around them. It is likely that ENFP parents will encourage this play and growth by suggesting activities and lessons.
>>>Yep.
ENFPs will embrace and encourage productive interests as they arise, sweeping away dolls and dinosaurs when interests shift to the oceans, and sweeping away the fish when tastes change again, to the stars.
>>>Without productivity, how can one grow? Holding on to tokens of the past is fun, but it's important to make way for the future.
While they often enough recognize the value of structure and predictability, ENFP parents are unlikely to have the heart (or as they may see it, the lack of heart) to establish these limitations themselves. They may need to depend on their partners to provide some necessary guidelines and discipline from time to time, but ENFP parents will always have the advantage of their open-minded and empathetic nature, making them not just parents, but friends who their children feel comfortable confiding in. They needn't always depend on their children broaching the subject either, as ENFPs have a natural skill in spotting emotional disharmony or physical discomfort in others.
>>>Heart's got nothing to do with boundaries like these. I'm not gonna let my kid stay up late and miss an appointment - just because I don't want to upset my kid doesn't mean that, by conforming to their desires, I don't upset the person whose time we'd have wasted. Like a teacher, or doctor. It's important for everyone that when an agreement is made, it's honored, because otherwise, you'd be dishonest for going back on an agreement, dishonorable in the process, and irresponsible for wasting your own time and the time of another. What would it teach your kids if you didn't set any boundaries? To only care about their own wants, or needs? I think there's a name for that. Spoiling them? Yeah, that. Unless you have some sort of legitimate explanation which overrides the appointment in priority, in which case, it's perfectly understandable. As for always being someone my kids confide in... that's one of my biggest hopes, slash fears. I don't want to lose touch with them in the future. Got to build and maintain a relationship now.
Go On, Spread Your Wings
As their children approach the teenage years, all this emotion and attention can start to cloy, and their children may seek a more private independence. This can be a challenge for people with the ENFP personality type – they have strong emotions, and invest those emotions heavily in the things and people they care about. While they may not be big on using proven ideas, ENFPs do like to see whether or not their ideas work, and this applies to their thoughts on parenting, too. As their adolescent children withdraw, they leave an unsolved mystery that can last for years, leaving their ENFP parents wondering if their ideas on raising their children actually work, actually result in happy, independent and creative adults.
>>>I have faith that things will turn out okay. No one knows what they're going into when they first become a parent, but we all try our best. Or... some of us do. Those who have the ability to balance attention to the cultivation of empathy and emotional bonds with attention to critical thinking from an objective standpoint, and instilling a sense of responsibility and independence in their child, are bound to do something right. Right? And hey, proven ideas are fantastic. They're at the very least something to fall back on if your out-of-the-box ideas don't work, and should always be consulted if possible before putting into motion a new, unproven idea, because you never know if your idea had been proven in the past, or is a different level of complexity, but around the same concept of your ideas... etc.
Luckily for them, so long as they raise their children with a sense of productive independence, rather than an aimless, against-the-grain antipathy, ENFPs will find that their children have developed a strong sense of self and self-worth, going confidently out into the big, wide world at their own pace and in their own style, knowing that they have both themselves and their ENFP parents to depend on.
>>>That "big, wide world" is full of little people. For someone who talks about "emotional connections" a lot, this person doesn't seem too keen on referring to the individual level. It seems, in a world where we're so small, some of us cannot stop thinking big. And, don't get me wrong, there are things to look at in a larger scope, but not that often is it actually practical to think that way.
ENFP Careers
“Can't I fly helicopters AND be an oceanographer who writes songs and cooks?” It's a big world out there – perhaps even a little too big. ENFPs are fascinated by new ideas, both in terms of developments in fields they are already familiar with, and when new subjects come along. The trick for people with the ENFP personality type is to take advantage of this quality, this wonder with the magnificent breadth and detail in the world, and to use it to propel themselves further and deeper than others are willing or able to go.
>>>Another thing I already take advantage of, actually. Being decisive in whatever discipline you choose to follow is important for obvious reasons. I'm disappointed that not all people realize that, or are willing or able to keep their focus... focused, but that's just something some people need to learn. There are lots of things every person needs to learn. So... I guess I'm not disappointed, actually. Didn't mean that.
If there's a challenge ENFPs face when selecting a career, it isn't that they lack talent or options or drive, it's that there are so many things out there that are just cool.
>>>I don't know about that, my drive is focused on specific disciplines at the moment and the things I want to do just have to wait until my drive is ready to shift. I probably could force it, but hey, I don't want to. What a dilemma!
The Opening of a Door Can Be a Wonderfully Joyous Moment
Chief among ENFPs' talents is their people skills, a quality that is even more valuable now than ever. Even in traditional Analyst strongholds like engineering, systems analysis and the sciences, ENFPs' ability to network and match the communication styles of their audience means that even as they explore new challenges on their own, they will be able to work with others, explore others' perspectives and glean new insights into their projects. Much of modern progress stems from incorporating other studies into typically disassociated fields, and no one is better equipped to merge broad interests than talented, energetic and future-minded ENFPs.
>>>Sounds about right.
And while Thinking types may be better at applying logic to systems and machines, people with the ENFP personality type are able to apply that same logic to human interactions and networks, using their exceptional social perception to find out what makes people tick. This lends ENFPs a solid foothold in any human science or service, from psychology, counseling and teaching to politics, diplomacy and detective work. All of these fields have another important similarity: they are in constant development, shifting, presenting new angles and new approaches. It's simply not possible to be good in these fields and content with the way things are, and this is where ENFPs truly shine.
>>>Some people tell me I should be a counselor or something, but it's just something I'm good at. What I'm passionate about? Other peoples' passions. I like helping people figure out what they want to do in life. I think 'career counselor' might be an interesting choice, but then again, I do want to write...
Too Many Bosses, Too Few Workers
Where ENFPs do not shine is in systems of strict regimentation and hierarchy, such as military service. ENFPs thrive on the ability to question the status quo and explore the alternatives, and if this is a quality that is not just unappreciated but actually frowned upon, this will not only make them unhappy, but it may even threaten their emotional stability. Repetition, predictability, boredom… while some Sentinel types may appreciate predictability and clear hierarchies, these are not selling points for ENFPs. People with the ENFP personality type need to feel like they're pushing boundaries and exploring ideas, and should focus on interests and careers that encourage that.
>>>I'm a black belt and lived for years with someone in the navy, who urged me to keep disciplined even in my daily activities. I've got pretty good experience with working within the system, especially ones with highly disciplinary components, and it's not all that bad. For example, the discipline in martial arts is there to hone the body to ultimately improve form, stamina, and mental acuity. All important things for martial arts. What I don't like is if, when I'm working one-on-one with someone, they don't hear me out when I ask them a question or tell them something important and relevant. Every damn time that happens, I bring it up later and they're like, "Oh, why didn't you bring it up sooner?" Well, maybe if they let me... urgh. An apprentice must be humble before a master, because the master's wisdom and discipline in their specialization will carry through to them. The master, however, must also be open-minded to the innovation of the apprentice. Not every method works for everyone, and sometimes, in knowing much about something, a newcomer's observations could astutely point out that which a master neglected. There's always something to learn from another person, on the basis of sheer perspective alone, so there's no good reason to silence an attentive student in that sort of situation. Maybe delay them, but hell, not put them off the subject entirely until the end of class. You get the idea.
Many more career options satisfy these needs, and not just the scientific ones – writing, journalism, acting and TV reporting all give ENFPs a chance to explore something new every day and stir the pot a little while they're at it. It may come to pass though, that the best way forward for ENFP personalities is to establish themselves as entrepreneurs and consultants, blazing their own trails and taking on whatever project is most fascinating. So long as they get to use their people skills, identify and achieve their own goals and inspire their colleagues and followers, ENFPs will be happy.
>>>I wonder what sort of practical application that sort of outlook would have in a modern job market.
ENFP in the Workplace
There are two basic things that ENFPs seek most in the workplace: The chance to explore new ideas, and the chance to conduct that exploration alongside other people who share their excitement. These qualities show through at all levels of hierarchy, though much like other Diplomat personality types, ENFPs would prefer that there be hardly a hierarchy at all. People with the ENFP personality type possess warmth, creativity, and an open-mindedness that makes them excellent listeners. If these qualities are recognized by their employers, they will always be able to count on their ENFP employees to innovate and boost morale.
>>>A hierarchy is sort of irrelevant in general, when people assume various roles on their own, but it can be valuable or even necessary in some places. What would the military be if it existed as a seething mass of individuals, all pulling in different directions? You can't have that in an army. Those higher up have trained to get their; their experience is something to have faith in when taking orders, typically.
ENFP Subordinates
ENFPs are growth-oriented, and as subordinates they'll impress their managers with their creativity and adaptability. People with the ENFP personality type are excellent listeners, able to analyze and understand others' perspectives effortlessly. It's perhaps this quality that most makes ENFPs intolerant of micromanagement – the way they see it, they understand what's been asked of them, and all they require is the freedom to accomplish their task. If this need isn't met, managers may find a quickly stressed ENFP subordinate.
>>>Why would you not give someone you just ordered to complete a task the freedom to complete that task?
To a certain extent though, some direct management is often necessary, as ENFPs are notorious for letting their attention slip from one project to the next before they've dotted their I's and crossed their T's. ENFPs love exploring new ideas and learning new things, and once something becomes familiar, its allure starts to fade. But, if managers are able to maintain a spirit of guidance and camaraderie instead of "bossiness", they will find loyal and devoted contributors in their ENFP subordinates.
>>>You can maintain friendliness while still directing business or giving orders, at least with some people. It's often not that hard.
ENFP Colleagues
ENFPs are people-people, and as far as the workplace is concerned, this quality shows through best among colleagues. More than just coworkers, ENFPs view their colleagues as friends, people who they take a genuine interest in, providing support and cheer when they're down or stressed. People with the ENFP personality type are warm and optimistic, always searching for and usually finding win-win situations for everyone.
>>>Or realistic, and really fucking persistent until some sort of solution is found.
Brainstorms among equals are ENFPs' forte, and they listen to different viewpoints and suggestions not just with tolerance, but genuine excitement. Their ability to relax and have fun will always make them popular around the water cooler, but what sets ENFPs apart is that they can transition that popularity into natural leadership, instinctively picking up on colleagues' motivations and pulling their teams together, pushing them forward towards whatever truth they've been tasked to find.
>>>I like working with others, it's preferable because I have other people to do the work for me while I inspire them effortlessly. Talk about a win-win! No, I'm kidding, but still, working with others helps to smooth out ideas with alternate perspectives.
ENFP Managers
ENFPs are not great fans of heavy hierarchy and bureaucracy, and this is most evident when they take on the role of manager. As managers, ENFP personalities behave much like they do as colleagues – they establish real friendships, and use their broad popularity to inspire and motivate, taking on the role of leader, working alongside their subordinates, rather than shouting from behind their desks. ENFPs will tend to believe in the concept of intrinsic motivation, the idea that things are worth doing for their own sake, not because of some convoluted system of punishments and rewards.
>>>Hey, the rewards can still be nice. They don't really matter when you love what you do, but they're nice to get anyway.
Unfortunately, not everyone buys into this philosophy – challenges arise when faced with subordinates who actually prefer to be closely directed, with clearly defined objectives and timetables, people who are just doing their jobs. More challenging still are those rare moments when a reprimand is simply necessary – while ENFPs prefer to meet dissent with an open ear, and to use their excellent capacity for sensing mood and morale to preempt such an act to begin with, sometimes the carrot and the stick are necessary, and using them is the biggest challenge for the ENFP personality type. But ENFPs' capacity for adjusting their communication to most any style will always shine through, helping to smooth things over and adapt to the needs of their team.
>>>Why not be specific in instructions? I hate vagueness, especially if it's delivered after I've asked for specifics. As for punishments, I have no problem calling out bullshit when I see it. A dishonorable action is trouble for everyone in a workplace community, because if someone doesn't pull their own weight, someone else needs to pick it up. And that isn't something worth any tolerance without a damn good excuse, but even then, if they're incapable of performing to acceptable, reasonable standards, they shouldn't be working there. I do like to understand why, though.
Conclusion
Few personality types are as creative and charismatic as ENFPs. Known for their idealism and enthusiasm, ENFPs are good at dealing with unexpected challenges and brightening the lives of those around them. ENFPs' imagination is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal growth.
Yet ENFPs can be easily tripped up in areas where idealism and kindness are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, staying calm under pressure, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder or making difficult decisions, ENFPs need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker traits and additional skills.
>>>Something which, if taken care of, at least for the most part, can make for an even nicer person than described, I presume.
What you have read so far is just an introduction into the complex concept that is the ENFP personality type. You may have muttered to yourself, "wow, this is so accurate it's a little creepy" or "finally, someone understands me!" You may have even asked "how do they know more about me than the people I'm closest to?"
>>>Oh, great, they're gonna advertise something to me now.
This is not a trick. You felt understood because you were. We've studied how ENFPs think and what they need to reach their full potential. And no, we did not spy on you – many of the challenges you've faced and will face in the future have been overcome by other ENFPs. You simply need to learn how they succeeded.
But in order to do that, you need to have a plan, a personal roadmap. The best car in the world will not take you to the right place if you do not know where you want to go. We have told you how ENFPs tend to behave in certain circumstances and what their key strengths and weaknesses are. Now we need to go much deeper into your personality type and answer "why?", "how?" and "what if?"
>>>Yep, knew it.
This knowledge is only the beginning of a lifelong journey. Are you ready to learn why ENFPs act in the way they do? What motivates and inspires you? What you are afraid of and what you secretly dream about? How you can unlock your true, exceptional potential?
Our premium profiles provide a roadmap towards a happier, more successful, and more versatile YOU! They are not for everyone though – you need to be willing and able to challenge yourself, to go beyond the obvious, to imagine and follow your own path instead of just going with the flow. If you want to take the reins into your own hands, we are here to help you.
>>>I think I'll be alright. Thanks.
Let me know if you need anything. I'm here to help.
Also, feel free to drop by my AMA. :Twilightsmile:
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