11-06-2015, 02:39 PM
I feel like I need to get this off my chest somewhere, so here it is.
Going to sleep at night is now typically a pain in my ass, and I feel like that's an understatement. I'm a total night owl now, don't me wrong, it's when I'm lying down with the lights off trying to go to sleep when things turn bad. Meaning my OCD and the intrusive, unwanted thoughts get cranked up to eleven. As does the anxiety they cause and the uncomfortable feeling of my mind being poisoned, my emotions also grow more unstable too. Particularly feelings of great hostility and anger with bits of sadness, which I have no reason. Getting physically comfortable is harder too, tossing and turning, what with OCD and the thoughts/compulsions harder to resist at times it feels bad just having my skin touching anything and I just want to get away. It takes longer for me to sleep because of it.
I'm aware this'll basically mean nothing...I don't know, maybe just writing it will help.
I guess on a more positive note I've distinctly noticed Nightmare's voice is generally stronger when I'm at home and when I visualize her in my mind speaking the words. There have been some times the words just seem to flow out.
I hope someone has something to contribute though, it might help.
Going to sleep at night is now typically a pain in my ass, and I feel like that's an understatement. I'm a total night owl now, don't me wrong, it's when I'm lying down with the lights off trying to go to sleep when things turn bad. Meaning my OCD and the intrusive, unwanted thoughts get cranked up to eleven. As does the anxiety they cause and the uncomfortable feeling of my mind being poisoned, my emotions also grow more unstable too. Particularly feelings of great hostility and anger with bits of sadness, which I have no reason. Getting physically comfortable is harder too, tossing and turning, what with OCD and the thoughts/compulsions harder to resist at times it feels bad just having my skin touching anything and I just want to get away. It takes longer for me to sleep because of it.
I'm aware this'll basically mean nothing...I don't know, maybe just writing it will help.
I guess on a more positive note I've distinctly noticed Nightmare's voice is generally stronger when I'm at home and when I visualize her in my mind speaking the words. There have been some times the words just seem to flow out.
I hope someone has something to contribute though, it might help.