Updates and Advice: Version 2.0

[Ziggy and Angelbaby]

Going to sleep at night is now typically a pain in my ass, and I feel like that's an understatement. I'm a total night owl now, don't me wrong, it's when I'm lying down with the lights off trying to go to sleep when things turn bad. Meaning my OCD and the intrusive, unwanted thoughts get cranked up to eleven.

I know what you're talking about; I would regularly experience irrepressible and distressing thoughts whenever I laid down to go to sleep. My thoughts were typically about death / losing loved ones - fun subjects like that. Some OCD sufferers stop and devote time to canceling out negative thoughts by responding with positive ones; that was essentially what I'd do.

It didn't work; it trapped me in a nigh inescapable loop.

Being exhausted helped. If I was practically nodding off whether I'd planned on it or not, there wasn't near as big a window for the thoughts to begin. Acknowledging the thoughts - without engaging them - helped: "There you are. I don't much like you. Run along now." And curling up with Babe / concentrating on her has definitely helped. The feel of her against my chest; her mane brushing my chin as we adjust into a comfortable sleeping position. It's almost difficult to think of anything too negative while the pony you love is using you as a pillow.