11-28-2015, 03:42 PM
(11-28-2015, 03:30 PM)StableRelationship Wrote: Okay, first of all, do you earn enough money to move out? Even if it's just into a share house with lots of other people? It might not be ideal, but you sound like you're living in a toxic environment already. At the very least, I can tell you from first hand experience that a parent's ability to control you decreases significantly once you get your own place.
Second of all, your experience with your Mother sounds uncannily similar to mine. She's stressy like me, but she deals with that by guilting us into doing what she wants and making us feel responsible for her state of mind. This enables her to become very overbearing and condescending without a great deal of self-awareness. The reason why my sexuality got so messed up in the first place was because I isolated myself and grew close to animal-like characters. The reason why I isolated myself was because I was scared of becoming like her, and hurting people (it runs along her side of the family).
I know how much it hurts when a parent does these things, and I know how frustrating it is to assert your independence in the face of it. And you're right - it's not my place to dictate how you should feel. Your Mother doesn't have a right to be forgiven, and you may very well find refusing sympathy provides a better resolution for you. Nevertheless, you mustn't let these events tie you to her emotionally. I know it's hard, but try your best to set some boundaries and not take her words to heart.
Sadly I don't make enough yet.
I can relate you in that second part there. She kept me very isolated from others hence why I developed such close connections to characters, particularly cartoon animals. I feel like up until a point that was really the only real thing I had in my life.
And trust me I don't take her words to heart. I almost said to her this evening that she is not even worthy to judge my decisions.
Please don't interrupt my first response as aggressive, if you did it was not my intention. I appreciate that someone actually cared enough to respond.