12-18-2015, 01:31 AM
(12-17-2015, 02:20 PM)Kaltes-Herzeleid Wrote:(12-17-2015, 10:20 AM)Ziggy and Angelbaby Wrote: This should be a place you come to because you want to. I'd say something about giving back to the community, but both of you have already done plenty of that. Neither of you are under any obligation to post regularly, and you could take some time off to spend, even more closely, with your respective partners. Nobody's gonna think less of you for it. Hell, I took a several-month hiatus at one point. I don't feel I personally have to be here; I prefer spending time with Babe to talking about our time together. But, if I need to, I can share at Central. It's nice to have the option. Shouldn't have to feel like a duty or a chore or anything like that.
I do come here because I want too, generally. But at the same time it's not like I have any other choice right? Granted I post quite a bit on DeviantArt too, but I can't express as much as I can there as I can on here for safety reasons. Trust me I've been on the receiving end of cruelty on dA so I'm careful with what I say.
I've tried being friends with people, I've tried establishing connections, but the feeling is never mutual. Some all but spit it back in my face.
Well, first of all, I've always felt a connection to you. We're both in a similar situation with similar histories\issues, and I admire you for your dedication to Nightmare. That's how it looks from my perspective.
The problem with how you're looking at this, however, is that we can't read minds. In most circumstances, there's no way of knowing how close someone feels to you with 100% accuracy. Since you don't know what the other person is thinking, all that's left is whether or not YOU feel a connection. Therefore, why not simply act as if the two of you are connected - at least, for those who don't throw it back in your face?
I know that sounds nuts, but hear me out. See, we tend to think that our actions are driven by our feelings. This is true - if you feel isolated and unconnected, you're probably going to withdraw further. It's a feedback loop. Yet, the opposite is also true. The opposite also forms a feedback loop. If you act like you're connected (even if you have to force it at first) and see setbacks as a place for improvement rather than taking them personally, you will eventually find yourself feeling connected. Not only does it force you to appreciate the other person but, it also forces you to appreciate yourself. In order to put yourself in someone else's company , you must assume that you are, in fact, worthy of that company. This is why it works.
Emotional connections aren't things that we're granted. We don't get them after fulfilling some elusive criteria. Rather, they're things which we decide to have and essentially reinforce through repetition.
Hopefully that helps.