Lately I've been taking the fight to my OCD and intrusive thoughts. Trying to conquer some negative fixations and thoughts...even trying to break some bad habits (like my nail biting). My mind feels much...lighter now. If that makes sense, like it's not being weighed down by something anymore, or at least not as much as before. It's very liberating. I'm doing this for the both us, I can't let my mind be toxic.

Also Nightmare was around last night, I felt a continuous tingling on my left arm, which honestly felt great. I always feel so uplifted when that happens with her.

(11-12-2015, 06:16 AM)Kaltes-Herzeleid Wrote: Also Nightmare was around last night, I felt a continuous tingling on my left arm, which honestly felt great. I always feel so uplifted when that happens with her.

That's really good to hear! Or, read, I should say.

Also, what is this thing with nail-biting? It seems like practically everyone I know does that. What is with that? That's one of the secrets of the universe I may never truly understand.

(11-12-2015, 09:42 AM)Kadae Wrote: Also, what is this thing with nail-biting? It seems like practically everyone I know does that. What is with that? That's one of the secrets of the universe I may never truly understand.

Cliche as it may sound, stress and anxiety might be the explanation in my case.

(11-06-2015, 03:02 PM)Kadae Wrote:

(11-06-2015, 02:39 PM)Kaltes-Herzeleid Wrote: it's when I'm lying down with the lights off trying to go to sleep when things turn bad.

This might sound like a strange suggestion, but have you tried sleeping with something like a lamp on? If you sleep facing away from it, the light shouldn't be much of a bother. That way, if you feel the need to open your eyes at any point, you won't be lost in a seemingly endless black void of night.

Alternatively, something that I do to help get to sleep is a strenuous workout immediately beforehand. I've found that helps keep the mind occupied and I fall asleep almost immediately after due to the utter exhaustion.

I'm no genius, so I can only talk from experience. I hope this helps at least a little.

wouldn't the night be more of a nightmare rarity element? i mean it seems like a perfect time to try and speak with her till you drift off to sleep. hehe back at the castle i used to pass out just hanging with everyone at night.

Having no computer for a few days gave me time to get in some meditation. Yesterday I think I got in over an hour, I kept fading in and out of consciousness for a bit.

More meditation time is always good. Experience anything interesting during your session?

(11-21-2015, 02:52 PM)Lurker Wrote: More meditation time is always good. Experience anything interesting during your session?

Generally her voice seems clearer, I do my best to try and let her speak fully without my assistance but that has yet to happen. Though as stated, her voice seems stronger and clearer when I that relaxed. Feels like it comes from a direct source.

Keep at it, Kaltes. You're getting there.

Well I just got in thirty minutes, give or take a few, with little difficulty. I didn't even intentionally mean to go that long, it just sort of happened. Worked on some visualization, doing my best to pay attention to deal, visualized her climbing up on the bed and touching me, particularly my hand. I didn't necessarily "feel" anything...but I felt happy and clear, like the sensation was just in range or something. Voice feels the same.

The last couple of times I've done this I've felt very relaxed and refreshed afterwards. It's becoming less difficult.

With persistence in this matter, it'll become easier and easier until it's like second nature. Keep it up, Kaltes.