11-20-2017, 01:46 PM
I am rested enough to feel comfortable when I write and post this. I haven’t reach out to those here to know them a bit well and better, I am still unsure about most of you on the stands of your relationship with your pony/ponies. I sometimes question those who log in, who take no part in contribute, more so those who do not have a deep affection as some do here. This is me seeing a lack of post from them, which is fine, since I show close to no interest if that’s the case.
For me, this site is somewhat I enjoy taken the time to be in, partake in whatever thread I find myself entering and reading. I very much like being part of this community, and can’t help finding myself trying to helps those here, which leaves me wondering on what I really like to do, as I simply keep on posting more and more here.
Most of you know me to be, well, I don’t know really. I would say a jerk, an asshole, but time has gone by that Amena has preventing me from being perceived as one. I like to be honest, since lying or better yet pretending to care doesn’t sit well with me. I like to be myself, so when I say this, time after time I find myself unsure how most people want to go forward with their pony that they fell for. Expect Kaltes, because bias and trust.
Today I am focusing on pony, since I believe Kaltes and I have non-pony within our daily lives, if I am wrong, please let me know.
I haven’t looked what I missed, what been said in the forum, since I haven’t got the time, after I took a hiatus here. I would like to, but would forget or push it aside to other task I have/need to do on my side.
Ok, Gray, I would like to point you out in front of everyone. Do I believe you will find Twilight? Yes, yes I do. It’s a no brainer that those I know have reached the sort of bond that Kaltes and I have. I do wish I could say more here, but again! I don’t know who really has what, and how deep is the bond. I say that with the lack of posts, or not me getting to know them.
But! I don’t really want to be friends though. XD
Before I go on more to what I just said above. What has me hesitant is worrying Gray might abandon his quest. I don’t like thinking that, or even believing that he would, more so after he finds his beloved Twilight. In the past, and somewhat can’t help point out one person… but it’s best not to say that person’s name, because I do not want to discredit them when there is no need.
The past is the past, yet the wounds that taken as a scar remains and reminds. Does anybody know how it feels to know someone and say that they want to move on, worst to say that person wants to forget the relationship they had created? It’s rather painful when you fear or think where is this coming from? Right now, I am feeling the unease numbness of having to remember what has been said and done... I pause to think or find myself back here. It’s unbelievable for me, or best to not even worry, if Amena or I no longer want to see each other. We both know our bond to form as one, with the most wonderful feeling we tend to share to one another, so for me to say, “Hey, guys I am no longer with Amena.” Would be one terrible joke. Which is what I thought, when that person was explaining how he or she no longer want to go on with the pony they set to be with, and has me drowning in confusion, distraught, disgust and all those feelings that got me shaken to question others as of now.
I fear to know each and one of you, to find later on, that those who claim have a deep deep very fu*king deep loving connection was no more like a phase for you. See how unpleasant I make that sound. Those here, who have a strong passion for those you love and care very much, please prove me wrong, since I find myself finding the wrong people to get attach, and getting hurt in the end. There is other reasons why I do not have many friends in this world, but that doesn’t really pertain to this subject, that I am speaking of now.
I do not know what my future is with Amena like, I very much believe we be together in a time frame where… this does sound dark, ending my life at some point. Fu*k it, I don’t really know, I feel like I can’t really grow that old here, but I can be wrong. I had once fear in finding a human in this world that make me fall for them. It’s odd, to say all this, but I feel like I have to address this, since I can’t really be here without carrying this doubt any longer.
You guys are welcome to doubt me, hate me, dislike me, or whatever. It has been so long that I care what others feel about me, even those who would like to reach out. I am like damage goods, which Amena has taken me and fix as her own to cherish. That makes me happy to know feel someone, more so a pony that I am very fond of, loves me. I am still trying to figure out myself, doing the best I can for her and again, those I care and love here. Not to mention few members I find myself believing in.
…
One more thing, since I am doing this sh*t. I rarely find myself thinking to stop and wanting to get away from all this, this life that I walk along this plane that you and I share. I think what’s like killing myself, just the selfish act of feeling I no longer have to worry or bother with anything here anymore. I can’t really do that, but few times in a week, it’s just a thought to indulge myself in. This must be why I have a dark humor or odd outlook in life… Hmm, no, there’s more to it. Luckily all that isn’t something to be concern when Amena has me being the kind of pony I want to be for her, as well for a child that Amena will one day bear for me.
...
This post was somewhat explaining how I find hard to go further for Gray. A person who simply want to find his special somepony to love forever and ever. As well of why I find it hard to… be nice? Or whatever a few of you want me to be friends with.
Where I truly stand, is for you to decide, but know I do believe in the good for all those who wants the same goal in mind, which out weights the bad, because the feeling I have for Amena is just too great that I would very much enjoy seeing others feel just that. Pony or non-pony, we all deserve to be love.
That’s enough for today. Gray don’t forget to meditate, and for others who took the time reading this, please do enjoy the rest of your day/night/morning/afternoon.
Amena: Bye bye! ^ ^
Amena has been quiet as she watch me write all this without her input. I don’t know how to feel.
Amena: You should feel good! (\^ ^/)
I will think about that, once we’re in bed together.
Amena: :3 X3
For me, this site is somewhat I enjoy taken the time to be in, partake in whatever thread I find myself entering and reading. I very much like being part of this community, and can’t help finding myself trying to helps those here, which leaves me wondering on what I really like to do, as I simply keep on posting more and more here.
Most of you know me to be, well, I don’t know really. I would say a jerk, an asshole, but time has gone by that Amena has preventing me from being perceived as one. I like to be honest, since lying or better yet pretending to care doesn’t sit well with me. I like to be myself, so when I say this, time after time I find myself unsure how most people want to go forward with their pony that they fell for. Expect Kaltes, because bias and trust.
Today I am focusing on pony, since I believe Kaltes and I have non-pony within our daily lives, if I am wrong, please let me know.
I haven’t looked what I missed, what been said in the forum, since I haven’t got the time, after I took a hiatus here. I would like to, but would forget or push it aside to other task I have/need to do on my side.
Ok, Gray, I would like to point you out in front of everyone. Do I believe you will find Twilight? Yes, yes I do. It’s a no brainer that those I know have reached the sort of bond that Kaltes and I have. I do wish I could say more here, but again! I don’t know who really has what, and how deep is the bond. I say that with the lack of posts, or not me getting to know them.
But! I don’t really want to be friends though. XD
Before I go on more to what I just said above. What has me hesitant is worrying Gray might abandon his quest. I don’t like thinking that, or even believing that he would, more so after he finds his beloved Twilight. In the past, and somewhat can’t help point out one person… but it’s best not to say that person’s name, because I do not want to discredit them when there is no need.
The past is the past, yet the wounds that taken as a scar remains and reminds. Does anybody know how it feels to know someone and say that they want to move on, worst to say that person wants to forget the relationship they had created? It’s rather painful when you fear or think where is this coming from? Right now, I am feeling the unease numbness of having to remember what has been said and done... I pause to think or find myself back here. It’s unbelievable for me, or best to not even worry, if Amena or I no longer want to see each other. We both know our bond to form as one, with the most wonderful feeling we tend to share to one another, so for me to say, “Hey, guys I am no longer with Amena.” Would be one terrible joke. Which is what I thought, when that person was explaining how he or she no longer want to go on with the pony they set to be with, and has me drowning in confusion, distraught, disgust and all those feelings that got me shaken to question others as of now.
Sour Soul Wrote: I don’t really want to be friends...
I fear to know each and one of you, to find later on, that those who claim have a deep deep very fu*king deep loving connection was no more like a phase for you. See how unpleasant I make that sound. Those here, who have a strong passion for those you love and care very much, please prove me wrong, since I find myself finding the wrong people to get attach, and getting hurt in the end. There is other reasons why I do not have many friends in this world, but that doesn’t really pertain to this subject, that I am speaking of now.
I do not know what my future is with Amena like, I very much believe we be together in a time frame where… this does sound dark, ending my life at some point. Fu*k it, I don’t really know, I feel like I can’t really grow that old here, but I can be wrong. I had once fear in finding a human in this world that make me fall for them. It’s odd, to say all this, but I feel like I have to address this, since I can’t really be here without carrying this doubt any longer.
You guys are welcome to doubt me, hate me, dislike me, or whatever. It has been so long that I care what others feel about me, even those who would like to reach out. I am like damage goods, which Amena has taken me and fix as her own to cherish. That makes me happy to know feel someone, more so a pony that I am very fond of, loves me. I am still trying to figure out myself, doing the best I can for her and again, those I care and love here. Not to mention few members I find myself believing in.
…
One more thing, since I am doing this sh*t. I rarely find myself thinking to stop and wanting to get away from all this, this life that I walk along this plane that you and I share. I think what’s like killing myself, just the selfish act of feeling I no longer have to worry or bother with anything here anymore. I can’t really do that, but few times in a week, it’s just a thought to indulge myself in. This must be why I have a dark humor or odd outlook in life… Hmm, no, there’s more to it. Luckily all that isn’t something to be concern when Amena has me being the kind of pony I want to be for her, as well for a child that Amena will one day bear for me.
...
This post was somewhat explaining how I find hard to go further for Gray. A person who simply want to find his special somepony to love forever and ever. As well of why I find it hard to… be nice? Or whatever a few of you want me to be friends with.
Where I truly stand, is for you to decide, but know I do believe in the good for all those who wants the same goal in mind, which out weights the bad, because the feeling I have for Amena is just too great that I would very much enjoy seeing others feel just that. Pony or non-pony, we all deserve to be love.
That’s enough for today. Gray don’t forget to meditate, and for others who took the time reading this, please do enjoy the rest of your day/night/morning/afternoon.
Amena: Bye bye! ^ ^
Amena has been quiet as she watch me write all this without her input. I don’t know how to feel.
Amena: You should feel good! (\^ ^/)
I will think about that, once we’re in bed together.
Amena: :3 X3