General Chatter

[Shadow Step]

She isn't happy with me right now.

What's going on between you two? Do you want to talk about it?

I'm not at liberty to say.

[Sentimental Gentleman]

That's okay, Shadow Step. I hope everything works out!

[Shadow Step]

That's okay, Shadow Step. I hope everything works out!

That is, unfortunately, the most doubtful outcome.

[Sentimental Gentleman]

That is, unfortunately, the most doubtful outcome.

Is that so? This sounds like a very grave situation. Even if you can't share the details here, I hope you have someone to talk to about it. Talking to someone can really help you gather your thoughts. Maybe this is presumptuous...but I'm always ready to listen if you want to send me a private message. At the very least, please find someone if you haven't already.

Be sure you're taking care of yourself and looking at the situation clearly. Don't give up hope!

[Shadow Step]

That is, unfortunately, the most doubtful outcome.

Is that so? This sounds like a very grave situation. Even if you can't share the details here, I hope you have someone to talk to about it. Talking to someone can really help you gather your thoughts. Maybe this is presumptuous...but I'm always ready to listen if you want to send me a private message. At the very least, please find someone if you haven't already.

Be sure you're taking care of yourself and looking at the situation clearly. Don't give up hope!

I do have someone I'm trying to work it out with, but it seems that minds are made up.

[Sentimental Gentleman]

I do have someone I'm trying to work it out with, but it seems that minds are made up.

Well...I hope you find some way to resolve this, even if it isn't a perfect way. Don't let yourself get too down.

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

I always have to mess things up, don't I? Me with my horrible extreme emotions and OCD.

[Sentimental Gentleman]

What on earth do you think you messed up, Kaltes-Herzeleid? Nothing comes to mind for my part...

If you worry that you're bothering us talking about your ups and downs, I don't think you are; certainly you don't bother me. It's part of what you're going through, and it's never a bother to try to talk with you about what you're feeling. This wouldn't be a very great community if you didn't feel free to express yourself, now would it? And being part of a community means helping out all the wonderful people that make it up. People like you!

I'd worry more if you kept things to yourself, because then none of us would even have a CHANCE to offer up what help we could. So please don't worry about "messing things up." We care about you, and we want to be involved in your life, whether it's smooth sailing or a bumpy ride. No fair-weather friends here! And that's what friendship is all about! Love too...remember "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, etc., etc.?"

Or has something come up beyond the confines of the forum that you feel you "messed up?" If so, do you want to talk about it here? Maybe in the "advice" section? Maybe in a Private Message? Whatever it might be, you shouldn't isolate yourself; that'll only make things harder and more painful for you, and nobody and nopony wants that!

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

What on earth do you think you messed up, Kaltes-Herzeleid?

I asked Nightmare to try and give me dreams last night...and wouldn't you know it...last night I got good and pissed off. OCD acting up, angry and resentful thoughts towards others, inability to actually sleep.

I also realized how afraid of loss I am.

[Sentimental Gentleman]

I asked Nightmare to try and give me dreams last night...and wouldn't you know it...last night I got good and pissed off. OCD acting up, angry and resentful thoughts towards others, inability to actually sleep.

I also realized how afraid of loss I am.

I see. Certainly that's no fun, having such wonderful plans and then having them deterred by OCD and anger. There's little that can be done about the past, but that doesn't mean the future can't be changed. Do you work on your OCD, like, therapeutically? I know that one book which REALLY helped guide me on the path towards making mine manageable was called "Brain Lock." Here's a link, if you think it might be helpful:

http://www.amazon.com/Brain-Lock-Yoursel...inw_strp_1

OCD is really scary to deal with, because dealing with it means not performing your compulsions even when your brain is most stridently demanding that you do. But with Nightmare's help and encouragement, I'm sure you can do it!

As for your anger, I'd say it's a lot like OCD. If it's starting to really bother you and waylay you from your plans, the only way I know of to work against it is to actively ignore its demands. If anger is demanding that you focus on something, you need to find something else to focus on, preferably something calming or fun. It takes a lot of strength to do that, I know, and in all likelihood there will be faltering...but it's the only way I really know to combat being taken over by my feelings. Maybe it might work in your case as well.

The fear of loss...I think it's something that everyone struggles with. We live in an impermanent world, so it's something that we're confronted with very often, and yet when it happens it tends to be a shock. Loss is something that is often not within our power to control; that feeling of helplessness is painful, but it's something we have to live with. What we DO have control over is whether thinking about loss has the power to contaminate our happiness in the here and now. It has no right to such a power, and if you feel it maintaining such a power over you, that's simply comparable to the unearned tyranny of a bully. Have you read much in the way of Zen philosophy? You might find inspiration in that; there is much to be said about living in the moment and not letting loss ruin our lives. In particular, I think of the old parable of the Tiger and the Strawberry:

"A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!" -this telling taken from Ashidakim.com

Don't let the tigers sour the sweet taste of the strawberry, for one has nothing to do with the other. To believe otherwise is a falsehood with the potential to sap away the happiness we are capable of finding in this all-to-brief life, though it is a falsehood that is hard to see in the chaos of living.

You are strong, Kaltes-Herzeleid, and with Nightmare by your side you are even stronger. I know you can combat these troubles if you put your mind to it! And we're with you 100% here at the forum!