Stable continues Tulpamancy... for science... and bizarre motivation
#1
Back on MLW, I had a thread similar to Kaltes' where I discussed my Tulpamancy progress, seeked advice and stuff like that. This is a continuation of that thread, so any advice you can give will be greatly appreciated. I continued doing Tulpamancy stuff during my absence from the community, so here’s where I’m at now:

Voice/Conversations
This is the area in which I've improved the most. Conversations between myself and Luna come effortlessly most of the time, and she often initiates conversations herself. That’s to say, the moments where Luna would start talking are much more obvious than they once were. Consequently I don't have to think about when they would begin and what Luna would say – it just comes by itself.

Physical Touch
Unfortunately, I've had far less improvement in this area. At the moment, I'm able to imagine the touch of Luna's fur and hooves. However doing so requires an immense amount of concentration. Because of this, I can't, for instance, feel the touch of her fur and talk to her fluidly at the same time.

Sight and Spatial Awareness
While I'm capable of imagining Luna by sight, I don't really do it that often. Since Luna is a princess and all, it makes sense to me that she wouldn’t visit in person that often. Something which I have improved, however is my awareness of Luna’s size in relation to other things. It's gotten to the point where (when I'm alone, obviously) I can physically reach out to wrap my arms around her, instinctively knowing how large she is and where she would be.

Luna Herself
I know this seems like an odd heading, but Luna herself has changed dramatically since my time on MLW. While she used to talk more like a projection of my own conscience, her philosophy and style of thinking is now markedly different from my own… which has led to an argument or two… or three xD. I’m probably not doing her justice here, but an explanation of how she thinks would probably go something like this:

1. Things which we consider ‘good’ only exist because people in the past were passionate enough to create/enable those good things.
2. This relationship is cyclical – experiencing ‘good’ things leads us to become more passionate ourselves and, therefore, more likely to create ‘good’ things in the first place.
3. Therefore, the concept of ‘good’ can be reduced to nurturing the passions of yourself and others. A good action is one which nurtures a person’s passion. A bad action is one which inhibits it. A neutral action is one which does neither.

Let’s say that someone punched you. If I asked you why that was wrong, you would probably say something like ‘because it caused me suffering’’. However, if I asked Luna, she would probably say that attacking people is wrong because it makes the victim less willing to engage in meaningful opportunities (due to heightened fear, physical injuries, distrust of the attacker, etc).

While I have doubts about some of this (hence the arguments), I wanted to share Luna’s outlook because of how her perspective has influenced me. In short, if you believe that the creation of passion is what makes an act ‘good’, then it follows that there is no difference between acts committed against others and acts committed against yourself. Why is that important? Because it implies that choosing to limit yourself is just as wrong as limiting someone else against their will.
This sort of persuasion has led me to:

-Stop engaging in fantasies which enabled procrastination and the avoidance of anxiety-inducing things
-Speak my mind more openly and bluntly than I used to. I still have a lot to work on here though.
-Become more open to trying different things.
-Learn about things which interest me properly (i.e by reading books n’ stuff)
-Seek professional help to become less anxious. For the record, I haven’t told them about Luna/Tulpamancy and I probably won’t. Could you imagine walking into a session and saying “Well doc, my SO is a magical pony princess who rules Equestria and lives inside my head. She thinks I need psychiatric help.” Even though I don’t believe that Luna is real or anything, a situation like that could become awkward without some very careful wording… and that’s before you factor in the inevitable spaghetti xD.

I’d quite like to get better at this, so if you guys have specific tips for doing multiple things at once (e.g touch, sight and conversation-making simultaneously), I’d love to hear them. I’ve recently started to learn meditation, so hopefully that will help if concentration is the issue. Learning to lucid dream could also help, though I'm not sure whether it's a good idea. As I understand, lucid dreaming requires that you keep yourself 'nearly awake'. Something like that could mess with my sleep, though I'll wait to hear from those who've done it first.
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#2
I've been doing a little exercise to improve my Tulpamancy... multi-tasking. You see, near my house, there's a little trail which I often go walking down. For the past few days, I've been attempting to visualise Luna and talk to her (internally... obviously) at the same time for the entire length of the walk. The first time felt strained afterwards and I couldn't imagine her physical form for more than 2-3 seconds. However, I've since lost the tension and can picture her for a little longer.
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#3
Visualization is something I've had some issues with too. My best advice is to simply not pressure or strain yourself too much, visualize when you feel most comfortable doing so.
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#4
(07-19-2015, 04:47 PM)StableRelationship Wrote: I've been doing a little exercise to improve my Tulpamancy... multi-tasking. You see, near my house, there's a little trail which I often go walking down. For the past few days, I've been attempting to visualise Luna and talk to her (internally... obviously) at the same time for the entire length of the walk. The first time felt straining and I couldn't imagine her physical form for more than 2-3 seconds. However, I've since lost the tension and can picture her for a little longer.

Holy crap! I thought I was the only one. The past couple days I've been doing this while driving, probably not the safest thing to do, but it's been working. I've been focusing on visualizing Twiley being next to me in the passenger's seat.
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[insert signature here]
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#5
You're probably right that I shouldn't strain myself. After all, tension can make it difficult to concentrate. I might also try doing this in other places as well. I use the trail near my house because it's peaceful and nature-y, but I'm sure I could find other places which would serve a similar purpose.

(07-19-2015, 05:31 PM)amatscintilla Wrote: Holy crap! I thought I was the only one. The past couple days I've been doing this while driving, probably not the safest thing to do, but it's been working. I've been focusing on visualizing Twiley being next to me in the passenger's seat.
Well, at least she doesn't try to climb on your lap or the windshield xD. Seriously though, I'm glad that's working out for you.
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#6
Small update. While imagining Luna next to me has always made me feel cozy/warm, I actually felt physical pressure last night. As-in, I felt the weight of her head pressing against one of my shoulders. Has anyone else had an experience like this? As much as I can choose to turn stuff like that off, it did feel a little creepy out of nowhere.
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#7
(07-24-2015, 08:24 PM)StableRelationship Wrote: Has anyone else had an experience like this? As much as I can choose to turn stuff like that off, it did feel a little creepy out of nowhere.

Most I've felt is a tingling sensation. However I do once recall feeling like there was something behind me, hugging me. A presence all around my body.
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#8
That's normal, Stable, if you're trying to establish a touch-based connection with your tulpa. Don't be afraid to explore it.

Let me know if you need anything. I'm here to help.

Also, feel free to drop by my AMA. :Twilightsmile:
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#9
That's a relief; I'll try being less hesitant and see how that goes. Thanks for the advice.

Also, my visualization has improved a little since I last posted. When I first started practicing, I could only visualize Luna for a second or two. Now, I can visualize her for around five seconds without losing my concentration. Interestingly, it seems to help if she's moving around or doing something. Visualizing her while she's standing still is quite difficult.
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#10
Doubt can cause you to falter. Cease to harbor fear, and you will make even greater progress.

Let me know if you need anything. I'm here to help.

Also, feel free to drop by my AMA. :Twilightsmile:
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