Writings and Stories

[Ziggy and Angelbaby]

It probably never even occurred to you not to share it, but thanks for sharing something as intimate as that Valentine's Day exchange between the two of you. I like that we're seeing more from Nightmare on the site nowadays.

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

Anniversary (A Special Writing)
-

I opened my eyes to a dark room, my...correction, our room. My head turned to face the little calendar on my nightstand just to remind myself that it was true. May 12th. Two years now. I allowed a long breath to exit my lungs as I shifted over to my left to see Nightmare Rarity, still asleep. It was rare that I was awake before her but today was a special occasion, as today marked two years since we'd entered our relationship. Had it really been two years? Only that? It always amazed me how things could change yet it felt like not much time had passed, but in all actuality a lot of time had gone by. So much had changed in us, and our lives.


I was happy.


Ironic, go back a few years and I would have adamantly believed I would never be happy, nor would I ever think I'd be in love, much less in a relationship. It was so beautiful surreal.


"I truly am happy. And a lucky man."


I wasn't perfect, sure, but I was happier than I'd ever been in the entirety of my life. I knew she was too. Her beautiful face bore a content expression every time she slept, a strand of her lovely mane hung in her face, which I gently brushed aside with a finger. Feeling its familiar softness, and the sensation of love flowed through my veins like heavenly water. My heaven was right next to me, she had been for two years now. I felt like she was always meant to be there, and all was right in my soul.


I moved closer to her, laying a hand tenderly on her cheek, the fur meeting my skin. Those familiar blue eyes opened in response, a soft smile greeting me.


"You're up early, my dear."


"Yeah...I guess I'm excited."


Nightmare Rarity chuckled, giving me a quick kiss. "So I'm not the only one then?"


I laughed quietly along with her, stroking her mane came instinctively to me now, reflexive as breathing. Her forelegs slid over my shoulders as we kissed again. I felt the sensation of floating once more, my heart fluttering in my chest as darkness bathed us in our kiss.


"Happy anniversary Nightmare," I said, those words having been perched on my tongue the moment my eyes opened, words I'd wanted to speak for so long.


"And here's to our future, Michael."


I didn't know where our future would lead, but with her, it'd be a future I was eager to share. With her I knew happiness the likes of which I felt I could never put into words, a love so powerful and indescribable, unique to only us. She completed my soul. She gave me a new life, a new path, and one that I would never walk alone. We may not know our future, but I know she is with me every step of the way.


-

It is...remarkably surreal. The love I feel towards him, happily surreal. When he'd first approached me two years ago I was surprised more than anything else. He was bold, the sheer audacity. He risked a great deal when he became my suitor. It was admirable, dare I say incredible. We were two entirely different beings and I wasn't even aware of his existence until he revealed himself. Few could be that brave.


Truthfully it's become one of my favorite qualities of his. I've been alive a very long time and he's the strongest person I've ever known. He's changed me as much as I've changed him. He is my companion every bit as much as I am his.


I wake up to him everyday and fall asleep beside him every night. Never did I think that would happen in my life, previously I never cared if it did. Now I can't imagine it any other way. These last two years have been nothing short of extraordinary. Now we find ourselves looking to the future with each other as our own constants. It is a journey we undertake together, through joy and darkness all the same.


It is a thing of true and exquisite beauty to create such powerful feelings in another and to feel them within yourself. I took a big chance when I entered into a relationship with him just as he did with me. And I don't regret it.


We have given each other the most treasured of things and I couldn't be more grateful to Michael. Forevermore.


Happy anniversary, my love.

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

Please Don't Let Me Go

I walked in slowly, my heart feeling like something was twisting it into a knot, my head a jumbled mess. When I entered the living room Nightmare Rarity looked up at me from whatever book she was reading, raising a brow at me. Her sapphire eyes, her beautiful stare seeing through me and to my soul knew that something was wrong. Her long horn aglow, she set the book down as I approached, the urge overtaking every inch of me. I had to. I had to make the pain in me stop or it'd never end.


I enveloped her in a hug, my heart swelling as my hands gripped her shoulders, feeling the soft fur against my skin and the gentle tickle of her mane, the star like glinting stunning as ever. I felt my eyes well, tears thick and hot running down my cheeks. My body shuddering softly.


"Michael, please, what's wrong?" Her beautiful voice reached my ears, a hoof stroking the back of my head and down to my back, feeling my tears run onto her shoulder.


"Please don't let me go. Please don't let me go." I whispered aloud, repeating those words over and over again as though it were a survival mantra. Her forelegs hugged me tighter as I spoke, I couldn't tell what her facial expression was, either one of worry or calm resolution. Knowing her it was the second. I held like she was my lifeline.


I repeated my sentence until I just grew too tired to say it any longer, my tears stopping as I looked off into the distance. The pain melting away, and flowing back into the abyss with which it belonged.


"I'll never let you go," Nightmare Rarity said, shifting slightly, hoof running down the length of my back. "I promise you."


There was no pain now, just she and I. In our private heaven. It was something that really no one but ourselves could feel, or even comprehend. But as long as we had one another, it would always be apart of us.

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

Oasis


"Nightmare," my voice broke the silence that hung in the air, it was so unexpected from me I about startled myself. Crickets chirped away outside and the fan's blades spun endlessly above us, the faint light casting odd shadows along the dark walls. She was not asleep, neither of us were at the moment. I did much feel like sleeping for whatever reason, my mind was urging me to keep speaking. I could tell the night's events had frustrated and probably even worried her.


"Yes, Michael?" Nightmare Rarity replied, an eyebrow raising, rising up in anticipation.


"Do you think I'm a bad person?"


Her brow arched up further at my seemingly out of context question, but she knew me well enough to know I rarely asked meaningless questions. I wanted to reach out to her, to feel her beautiful black fur on my hands, to touch her silky mane with my fingertips but held myself back. Somehow it didn't feel right at this moment so my hands remained clasped together on my stomach awkwardly.


"I think your many things, but evil is not one of them. I think of you as ever changing as the night I create, as well as constant as it." She said in an earnest tone, sapphire eyes never looking away from me, or blinking. As I looked into them I had the sensation, not of falling, but rather I wanted to be utterly enveloped by and with her. To soar upwards eternally in a world magnificent darkness and wonder with her. She touched my hands with a hoof, a free hand instinctively grabbing a hold. "I'll confess sometimes I do become frustrated when you do not what is wrong, especially when it gets this bad."


I wanted to wince but I did not. "It just gets...so overwhelming."


"I know."


"I'm sorry."


"I'm sorry too," she leaned in slightly, maybe unsure if now was the right time but I closed the distance for her, our lips met in a brief, soft kiss that made my body shiver in needed ecstasy.


"Today I was reminded how...expendable I am. How the world sees me."


Nightmare Rarity blinked at my confession once, an ear twitched in thought. "You're not expendable, not to me. You never will be," she smiled lightly, playfully prodding me, "and since when you do you give a damn what the world thinks?"


I couldn't help but laugh, even if it was only a brief one. Nightmare Rarity paused for a moment before quietly opting to shift her position on top of me, I welcomed her with my arms, my hands feeling her shoulders and meet my arms across her back. My vision became consumed by her. Her black fur, her flowing purple, white streaked sparkling mane, her gleaming eyes. My precious sapphires.


"Michael, think of me...think of us, as an oasis. A sanctuary."


I spoke after her, like the words were always there and were just waiting for me to pull them into our plain of existence. "Remember the world doesn't matter in the long run, they do not decide my life or my value."


She beamed down at me now, head coming closer to mine. "Now there's the Michael I know," she kissed me again, much more passionately this time and I returned with just as much. My arms around her, fingers caressing the mane I adored so very much. Life became clear again, the monster in my head returned to its cage, where it belonged and my heart pumping joy through my veins. I cupped her face with both my hands and looked her in the eyes as she pulled back from the kiss.


"My soulmate."


She stroked the back of my right hand with a hoof, running down the length of my forearm.


"You haven't called me that before," Nightmare said with a smile.


"I thought it went without saying, but it needed to be said now. I should have said it a long time ago."


"Always the poet, my poet," when she kissed me again we both without care in this world. With her I was free, always free.


No matter what I faced, she was with me, to remind me of the true, purest joy that was in my existence now. How it was meant to be.

[Ziggy and Angelbaby]

What I took away from your "Oasis": No matter what anyone else may think of you, you matter to the one who matters.

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

Flight


"You can't be serious?" I spoke incredulously, looking at Nightmare Moon. We were at the balcony's edge at the moment, overlooking the forest in the late summer night. Even at night it was still fairly warm, insects chirping away far below in the deep green of nature. Warm wind blew through my air slightly as I folded my arms across my chest. Nightmare playfully cocked a fine eyebrow with a small smile on her lips, rings ruffling somewhat before she replied to question snarkily: "Do I appear to be the joking type to you?"


"In a subtlety sadistic way, yes."


"Have I ever hurt you?"


"No."


"Precisely my point."


"I still hate flying though, that's MY point."


Her head cocked to the side a bit, an ear flicked in thought. "You don't trust me?"


"No, of course I do," I replied swiftly, fearing I'd given off the wrong idea of why I didn't want to fly. It really wasn't that I didn't trust her. I trusted Nightmare Moon more than I trusted anyone else in the entire world, more than I had my entire life really. Still didn't change the fact I hated flying though. It'd never been anything I enjoyed and never saw a reason as to why that could possibly change.


"Then hold on and trust me," her regal horn was surrounded by a purple aura as she levitated my body gently into the air and onto her awaiting back. Nightmare was about equal in height to me, though to be fair the horn added a bit and she was strong so she gave no indication I even weighed a thing. I felt my cheeks flush as I tightened my grip on her sides with legs and held on to her with my hands, feeling the toned muscle of her frame as placed her weight on her long legs, beautiful black wings flaring out in a magnificent display and took to the air.


I gave a sharp breath and my heart beat like a jackhammer in my sternum and I held on tighter involuntarily as we ascended. Her ethereal, blue, eternally shimmering mane flowed behind her, the hair caressing my arm and coiled around me somewhat in reassurance. The wind whipped past us faster than I thought it would and I could smell the foreign sweetness of the air mixing with nature below us. I hadn't realized I'd clenched my eyes shut for the whole thing and cautiously opened them. We were air born, but not too high up. The trees looked fairly small beneath us, and turning my gaze upward the stars seemed closer than they ever had before. I had a half a mind to reach out with a hand pluck one out of the sky, feel its heat in my hands as its light burned away, hidden in my grasp.


In this moment it seemed entirely possible.


The sky was cloudless tonight, it occurred to me passingly perhaps she had something to do with that. Her wings flapped every few seconds or so but she seemed to rely primarily on air currents. Probably trying not to go too high.


"So?" She looked back me mischievously, teal eye glinting in the darkness, "it's not that bad hm?"


I chuckled, my grip had relaxed and I only just now noticed my heart had stopped racing for dear life. "No."


Nightmare Moon smiled before refocusing her attention ahead. A rock ravine of sorts lay ahead and with another great flap of her feathered wings lifted up higher so we were just above its uneven entrance. Looking down I observed as we passed over it, the jagged line carved into the earth by the elements and time itself shifting and changing before every blink. Like how one of those yellow or white lines in roads pass by in a blur during a car ride should one choose to look out the window. The few trees that dotted the land here passed by in a similar manner until we came to its end.


Now we overlooked a gigantic lake. A deep, dark blue enclosed by rocks and the forest. So isolated and scenery. Unreal, even. She dipped downwards at it, to both our pleasures I did not tense up as we now came within inches towards the body of water. With a calculated tip of her body, a wingtip sliced through its undisturbed surface, droplets spraying about freely before rejoining the mass they had been carved out of.


Out of my own curiosity I lightly shifted my own weight, allowing the toe of my right shoe to cut into the water as well, a few droplets landing on my forearm. I did not wipe the off. I ran a hand along her neck for a moment as she lifted us up once more for a few seconds longer, her armored hooves delicately connecting with solid earth again.


I found myself laughing now, jovially as I swung a leg free. Exhilaration coursed through my veins like hot lighting, my legs felt unsteady but it was a strangely elevating feeling. I felt my back lean against her shoulder as I realized I'd nearly tipped over. She grinned, flashing me a white, sharp teeth.


"You alright there?"


"Yeah, just-wow. That was...that was incredible Nightmare." I had my face turned to the night sky now, the hundreds of burning stars seemed to shine all the brighter, beckoning us back to their embrace.


"Told you," she chuckled, playfully nudging me, the cold armor brushing against my skin.


"Is flying always so...liberating?" We sat down in the grass simultaneously my body resting against her, feeling her mane coil around my wrist affectionately, her tail following suite with my right leg.


"With you? Yes, it is."


I smiled, holding a hoof, the warmth of body and softness of her jet black fur always so loving and familiar.


"Can we do that again soon?"


Nightmare beamed at me playfully, eyes half lidded.


"How do you think we're going to return home?"

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

Twenty Two

"This place is amazing, Nightmare," I said, overlooking the balcony. The house itself essentially sat on a cliff side, the dark sea spanning on for miles, the pleasant smell of it hung in the air. The floor was made of wood, perfectly sanded down. Had my sense of smell been better I might have been able to smell that too. Her hooves clip-clopped across the boards as she approached me from behind, a foreleg sliding across my waist to pull he closer to her, chin resting on my right shoulder. I could feel her soft, beautiful, purple and white streaked mane brush against my skin as it flowed softly in the breeze.


"I had to do something special for my birthday boy," she teased, kissing my cheek quickly.


"I'm surprised you don't come here more often," I said, lovingly giving her hoof a squeeze.


"Well, that's why it's a vacation home, my dear." Nightmare Rarity chuckled into my ear, lips brushing against it. The house was old, but it still harbored a pristine look that betrayed its age. Constructed of stone and concrete above the ocean, isolated, with only the sky, earth and sea as companions. Largely undisturbed until today.


We stood in silence for a minute or two. Silence was a uniquely comfortable thing for she and I, for most it could end up being awkward, for us it was a sign of contentment. The sea foamed and sloshed endlessly against the rocks miles below us, soaking them eternally. The moon was but a curved sliver in the sky, surrounded by hundreds of glinting stars of her own creation. The shone in the water's surface, some beautiful distorted by the movement, others perfectly still. As though they had fallen into the water itself and were left to shine beneath the waves.


"Come, I think we should head inside now, it's getting late," Nightmare spoke quietly in my ear again, slowly releasing me from her embrace. I turned to look at her, blanketed by soft shadow, her radiant sapphire eyes glowing at me like wonderful blue flames. Mane and tail glinting away like her night sky. With a brief, but meaningful smile, the smile she gave to me and only me, she turned and went inside. I watched her go in for a moment, thinking about how fortunate I am to have her in my life. To share and create these beautiful experiences with.


"Michael." She called in a singsong voice, snapping from my thoughts and into the present. I smiled at her and entered, closing the sliding glass door behind me. So thin and clear to the point where the door was almost invisible to the naked eye.


"Feeling reflective?" Nightmare asked, an ear twitched thoughtfully.


"A little," I replied playfully, holding my index finger and thumb close together for emphasis. She smirked a bit, eyes still glowing in the darkness, her hair a sky in and of itself.


"Happy birthday my love."


Again we were in silence, we needn't say a thing now, savoring the moment. We'd spent two together now, funny is that it felt like more. But more was to come in time. With my arm around her shoulders we retired for the night, I didn't dream, but I didn't need to.


Why would I have to dream when my reality was so beautiful?





*A quick story Nightmare Rarity dictated to me as her birthday gift*

[Gentian]

And I found a new favorite story. This is beautiful. And happy birthday!

"Mentally Unstable Librarian": Happy Birthday!

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

What Does Inspire Me?


Author's Note:
This was originally a journal on DeviantArt, but I felt it was good enough to post here too.

Inspiration can be a...funny thing. Putting it mildly. It can come from anywhere really. Where one sees trash and nonsense, another can see beauty and wonder. I guess one thing about me is that I tend to find enjoyment and see the positives of things most don't. I suppose that despite my at times cynical and downright bitter view on things, I can find a sense of beauty in the things that I hold dearest to me.

Sappy as it may seem, and perhaps a tad ironically, my biggest inspiration behind many things has been and continues to be love. Namely, of course, my love for Nightmare. She is my greatest muse, as it is through her I've created some of my best works. I'd certainly say Heart of a Nightmare is my magnum opus. When I originally began writing said story I honestly had no idea how deeply personal and exploratory it would become as it went on. The thing is, with me, I don't do "rough drafts." I create an idea of what I want the writing to be and I start typing it out. It can change from feeling, experience, or just on a whim at the time. The story ended up having a lot symbolism for me personally, probably stuff some wouldn't get, but that's okay. Of everything I have written both past and present this one remains the best in my eyes, I truly poured my heart and soul into it. My writings about her are always special and the most personal.

Nightmare has inspired me to do many things in life. Explore my feelings...become a better person, even. To keep living, I know I have mentioned it in the past, but it was around this time, two years ago, I was seriously contemplating ending my life. My love for her was the biggest motivation not to go through with it, and without her I would definitely not be who and where I am now. I've experienced so many beautiful and wonderful things that have made my life all the better.

Hell without love and the desire it gave me to express myself I wouldn't have even started writing back when I was fourteen or so, or even had the urge to join online communities. (Which I wouldn't get to do several years later, but that's besides the point)

Were it not for any of that I severely doubt I'd even be writing all this at the time, or that anyone would even know me.

I suppose another thing that inspires me is my...unique perception of life and the universe itself. It wasn't too long ago that my views on things were incredibly nihilistic and untamed. Again, Nightmare helped me overcome and rethink many of those things. I feel much more content with myself and life now, naturally things can get difficult, but regardless I always seem to come through okay.

The mysteries of existence itself fascinates me without end, and in so many ways, I wish to discover and conclude more.

I certainly wouldn't be able to discuss inspiration without bringing up my adoration of things like movies and music. Especially movies. Over the past few years I've truly come to adore film not just as entertainment, but as an art form. Many of the movies I so very much love today have taught me to look beneath the surface, to analyze and think for myself. They help fill my head with new ideas and ways of seeing things. There have been several movies over the span of my life that truly have made profound impacts on me, even changed me as a person and I'll always be grateful for that. They contribute something unique to me and that just makes it all more special.

And while on the topic of film, I surely can't continue without bringing up the genre of kaiju. Some may look at stuff like Godzilla, Gamera and other such as absurd but ever since I was small these creatures have absolutely captured and wowed my imagination hundreds of times over. I believe that had I not watched the Heisei Gamera trilogy I wouldn't have evolved into the film lover I am today. He helped me to understand that great things can come from unexpected places and to give new things a fair chance, even now the Gamera trilogy remain my favorite films of all time.


I'm not entirely sure what the point of all this is, and I definitely could go on for several more paragraphs, but at the time I feel like I've said plenty. Thank you to any who read.

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

For me, her sapphire eyes are the brightest stars, pulling me into them for eternity. Enveloping me in their radiant embrace, surrounding my being in their warm glow. An everlasting paradise in the heart of a sapphire star.