PSA: Discord Activity

[Rares]

I do see people who aren't being hostile at all have their thoughts immediately drowned out by a transparent dump of filler text and random images. I notice it's especially mods who do this, to distract from the feelings of others that are seen as uncomfortable. I've shared my thoughts on this already but it was denied as being true, and still happens. It's rather hurtful to the one being purposely drown out, and understandable for them to feel unwanted when that happens. The chat of course shouldn't have to freeze because someone wanted to share some serious thoughts, but there's a difference between naturally starting a new topic while being considerate of the person's serious feelings, and just dumping filler stuff to get rid of it quickly while they don't understand why you'd do that to them if you care about what they have to say and what they're going through.

As I've mentioned before, as you put it is not quite the full story. Sometimes there are instances on the Discord where people are not well equipped to respond to something, as people tend to take time to really try to respond to longer posts as they don't want to just say "I'm sorry". At the same time it creates a bit of a time limit, as people can wait a day or so to respond to a post, where as Discord you can have 10 topic changes in a single hour, making it difficult to go back and respond to older ideas. Sometimes an image dumps help people improve the mood, as they don't know what to do or how to handle a situation like that. It does help refresh things and people try to improve everyone's mood with it. In this situation, the best thing to do is contribute to it with your own stuff. Because to others, when they get involved, it really isn't filler, it's how they feel too.

If something hurtful is said to someone, and the person who's hurt or another non-mod doesn't come in to say how wrong that is, I don't think I've ever seen a mod coming in to say that's not nice or that they should watch what they say or post. I don't think they're privately instructing the people who do those things on what went wrong and how to help people feel nicer, because we all still see the same things happening. If, like Flutterfag says, the person saying something inconsiderate doesn't even know that they're hurting someone, I don't see silently just dealing with it, under threat of being lectured for being negative and souring the atmosphere, as being good. Being so concerned with that atmosphere that someone can't share their own feelings is against the goal here. I understand the general thought, of course; we don't want people getting worked up and saying abusive things to each-other, but if someone said something terrible to me and I was told to "drop it" when I tried to defend myself, my lover, or a friend, I would consider that to be a sign that things really are hopeless, from that perspective. If the person hurt instead goes to a mod about it, rather than explaining their feelings to everyone, and the mod does take it seriously and not suggest "you should talk to them about your feelings", the person who initially said the thoughtless thing will be made to feel bad knowing that people have been talking about them behind their back when they potentially meant no ill will.

In these instances, when a staff member says to drop it, it's just an attempt to end any potential escalation of a situation. No one is intended to be left in the dark, and you definitely know how I try to talk to people in private after the effect. It's not a sign of things being hopeless, as people want to end conflict by cutting it off before escalation. Mods are trying to take things seriously, and that's why they're always open to discussion, even in private. And that's what happens, and a staff member will try to work out an understanding behind the actual channel, again to not make any misunderstandings take place. No one is being left alone in their feelings in this case, that definitely won't happen.

Something else I've spoken up about is people using the bot recklessly in #nsfw, bringing up shipping art and similar, and not caring enough to change what they're typing. I know I can't feel safe if things like that could pop up at any time, and I know I'm not the only one. If we're aiming to have a place where we can feel safe in our love, being asked to just ignore it because it's just how the bot is, when the most painful things for us are posted, isn't fitting. I think there should be more to encourage people to not be reckless with it, since it is very possible to avoid shipping, and not let them continue thinking nothing was done wrong after they feel like they want something not fitting for a waifu group, but thinks it's just as well to search it on the WC discord for everyone to see rather than privately searching on the site and using one of the two ways to randomize the search based on the tags provided. There is no justification to seeing specific shipping or incest tags searched in this group.

The bot is definitely an instance to be careful playing with it, so that's why there's that disclaiming for using it. The bot is uncontrollable. If you really are uncomfortable with the bot, especially in NSFW, the best thing you can do is block it. I think that way everything is hidden and out of view. I think you'd also be relieved to know staff are able to delete bot posts in that specific channel, so I hope that helps to know that and makes things a bit better.

I hope that clears up some things.

[whobawhats]

In regards to your first paragraph I feel rares has already adequately addressed my thoughts on it on the server. In other words I have nothing else to add.

Whenever a fight or disagreement breaks out I want to try and take as neutral a response as I can. So when one of us says "drop it" that goes for evryone involved. I'm not trying to insult anyone, I am trying to keep something from escalating out of control. In addition I want to say that if someone is saying something that is hurting someones feelings, may it be uninitentional or not, please message one of us so we can talk to them.

With the bot I feel everyone has had ample warning about it and what kind of images it could spit out. Some people have issues with shipping and others don't so they may not even think about putting in "-shipping" or something similar(even this isn't a guarantee there will be no bad images). I'm not going to police them on how to use it as long as there is no ill intent since I feel this is unfair and would be extremely difficult to attempt at times when it is in heavy use. My suggestion for anyone who may be concerned about what could come up is to just simply block the bot and to unblock it whenever they would like to use it. In addition if something does pop up in NSFW that is hurtful, a staff member can always delete it.

If you have any other comments/concerns please let us know.

[Gentian]

Where to begin...

Discussion is an important part of this site, and sometimes that includes argument. Bullying should not be tolerated, but this includes cry-bullying too. The line between harassment and argument is just that: harassment. If someone sees something they dislike in chat, they are free to say something about it, but unless it is directed at them, or done in a provocative manner, it is not harassment. Simply having your feelings hurt, or being offended does not give you special lease to change the site or the discord to suit your whims. Voice your concerns, defend your waifu, tell the person who is bothering you that they are, but try to handle your disagreement like adults.

Flutterfag, I agree about the definition being overly ambiguous, and slanted toward the victim, but unfortunately there is little else we can use other than staff discretion to decide what is or is not over the line. Do you have a better idea? To be clear, no, there is no rule against discussing heavier topics. Polygamy, for example is quite fair to discuss, but be careful not to stray over the line into insults or goading. Due to the difference in timezones, I am absent from a lot of what goes on there, but if you or anyone else feels you have been unjustly censored, come to me with chatlogs and I'll take a look. However, I also ask you to keep in mind that this is not /mlp/ nor is it MLW and if you think you may be getting under someones skin you might want to consider withdrawing from the conversation for a while. The corollary to that, is neither are you under any obligation to stop a discussion just because someone gets offended, as long as you are not doing so deliberately. Again, that is not directed solely at you so please don't think it is, you just asked the most relevant questions related to this, so I began by answering you specifically.

As for bots, I'm sorry, but we all know what the bot is and what it does. These same kinds of complaints, this same shit happened when the NSFW channel was created; we lost some users then who couldn't stomach the mere existence of such a channel, and while I would hate for such a thing to happen again, the answer is the same now as it was then: If you can't handle even the possibility of chancing on an accidental picture in the nsfw section then recuse yourself from going there, rather then demanding everyone change to suit you. It's segregated from main chat for a reason. If someone pulls up a pic that you dislike, you are free to voice your concerns, but unless it is done to provoke, it is not harassment, and you need to get over it. If you feel it was done with ill intent, let staff know. Don't want to look at it? Search something for yourself, pull up a pic you like, etc. etc. to push it off the screen, but deliberate provocation aside, nobody is under any obligation to alter their search terms, or refrain from searching altogether to suit anyone else's ideas of propriety; we are not /mlp/, but neither are we /r/waifuism, and crybullying is still bullying.

[Kaltes-Herzeleid]

First off, provoking of anyone will not be tolerated. This includes things deemed as "bait", anything being said negatively directed towards someone and their actions, or their waifu. Now, understand that perhaps you don't mean to bait someone, but be extremely mindful when you say a character makes you mad or uncomfortable, as that could easily hurt someone else.

Considering the fact I feel like I've been on the receiving end of that sort of talk from others...yeah. Not sure what else to say here. Never brought it up until now.

[RML]

this same shit happened when the NSFW channel was created; we lost some users then who couldn't stomach the mere existence of such a channel,

:C
I wish i knew them...