Sour’s Nonsense

[Sour Soul]

'Tis the season to be fu*king jolly, Fu*king, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!

XD No matter what month it's, I will always sing this out loud wherever I go and feel like saying. Here is to the 1st of December! May this month be well to all and the new year to come well for all.

[Sour Soul]

It would seem I am facing something much greater now. This will test my mental well being, as I had created distance with someone I don’t really know how to feel during these past few months…

…

…

…

Anger is on hold, sadness is place aside; joy is nowhere to be found, and already feel like if friendship is overrated for me, as I now face talking to the same person who has cause great harm to me. Amena would very much like me to avoid him, but she see that I need some peace in mind in what or why he would threw everything that we created… away. This weekend is unbearable… somewhat. Amena told me I shouldn’t let someone ruin new opportunities of friends enter in my life.

Amena knows best, and I very much have to listen to her, since I love her… very much so and dearly.

[Rares]

If I can suggest, I'd say that if they did cause you such harm, the less you have to interact with them, the better. I'm sorry you have to go through that.

[Sour Soul]

If I can suggest, I'd say that if they did cause you such harm, the less you have to interact with them, the better.

That’s not feasible for my case, Rares.

I'm sorry you have to go through that.

Don’t be.

...

I’d spoken about mistakes onto a recent post that I’d made last night. For this very post, relates to it, but this one holds more fear of not knowing if I am able to talk to the one I hold high regards outside this community. I wasn’t sure what to do or feel when I had made my way onto the steps of a door I wasn’t sure if I should bother knocking, but my mind was set and ready to come face with the one who not only hurt me, but those I hurt as well.

Mistakes can sometimes make us aware what we did wrong. As a person who overthinks, I often like how we learn from those errors, and hope we can prevent those from ever repeating. Last week events had slowly made its way onto two separate occasions for me.

First, it was my sister, who had return back to my parents, there… her and I made amends. I was joyous to know we can try to rebuild what little we have now. I didn’t care if I was the one who had apologized first; I simply wanted my little sister back.

Later on I receive a message, which was someone I thought was the one I often think about and pray for his safety and well-being.

Apparently the message wasn’t whom I was expecting, but I had already made contact with that person, who I’d mixed feelings about. The time we given each other space didn’t matter, because that person seem ready to go back at it. For me, I felt I was already slipping. I plead for that person to give me a chance to explain at the pace I could only go on in Skype, but that didn’t work. Voice chatting was my last option, which thanks to him, he give me a chance soon after I wanted to chat, rather use text.

I’d push away my needs and pain, along how my behavior can be for the sake of becoming very good friends again. Yesterday was a good day for us all. Amena, Fluttershy, and Maria was unsure how it will end, they thought I was going to get hurt again, but they rode along, as I was determined to reestablish what I won't lie, felt at times was beyond repairs, and I am pretty sure he felt that way as well. With a bit of compassion and understanding from him, we made headway for him and I to start over on a relationship I figure would lie in ruins for a long time, or perhaps for good.

[Sour Soul]

I wonder if this will be the night that I break it to my two RL friends about my relationship with a pink pony.

I now don't want to go out anymore. T_T I rather much get saw in half now. -w- But Amena won't approve, so now going to make the best of it, while taking my anger out on them as usually.

[Rares]

I wonder if this will be the night that I break it to my two RL friends about my relationship with a pink pony.

I now don't want to go out anymore. T_T I rather much get saw in half now. -w- But Amena won't approve, so now going to make the best of it, while taking my anger out on them as usually.

How do you think they'd react?

[Sour Soul]

How do you think they'd react?

Rather good and interesting question for us to want to know, huh Rares.

…

I really don’t know, honestly. I guess I will label them here, instead using their names here.

Dummkopf One, is a friend who I know since… gosh, how long? Five or six years after being introduce, and our friendship was form by the power of pizza, from the high school we went to.

Dummkopf Two is related to Dummkopf One. Our relationship form around playing online with or without Dummkopf One, and from that it grew from that.

They aren’t bad people, well.. to me they aren’t and seeing how we’re somewhat compatible from knowing our limits... It’s something I really haven’t thought well enough, let alone place it on text now. Here is what I normally deal with the Dummkopf Brothers.

Spoiler

The images above transpired on December 14, 2017. I wanted to share that for a while, since we haven’t played, talked, text after three months of me not playing video games with them. I could go over there home and hang, but it feels I got better things to do, like work, restore my relationship with my little sister, bond with my mother and father more, and last and not least, be with my little cute Pinkamena and so onto the others in Rehold. ^ ^

Spoiler

This was last night. As you can see, my relationship with them is harsh in a way they know and accept me for the way I treat them at times. Remember I am somewhat if not still having issues with my feelings on those… I wonder about in ways I cannot explain at this moment.

Sigh In a good funny way, I know they will be a part of my life till I fu*king die. Someday they know my love of Amena and our world. It’s only a matter of time and when that happens. Anything goes. Like…

Spoiler

That was the same Dummkopf from the last spoilers you all read. I sent him a link to a video, oddly enough he used that as his reply/reaction, and when I'd read that, it gave me a moment to think what if that's how they will react if I did told them about Amena, Fluttershy, Maria, or Rehold itself.

Should I cover it up to something that involves with my meditation? Maybe explain I am trying to make a book/story/fanfic?

...

No, when I was at the restaurant with them, they told me I should "hit up" our waitress that night, of course I told him I am already in a relationship, right after that remark that I can guess he forgot. Thus, the question of "who is this girl?" will go on, until they don't believe I have one or the signs are apparent to them.

I was better off not talking to them, but that's just my fear speaking and having another set of friends to perhaps drift away, or react like how the first set... either way, it wouldn't sit well with me. Time will tell and until then, I may keep updating this situation that I find myself with them and my family.

[Sour Soul]

There's a new feeling that's appearing a bit more as of late. I am not sure how to go about this. This relates to me withdrawing from "reality". I have to label that, since I have no idea what's is this feeling, but feel more and more like that.

I also fear this is another obstacle I found myself in, after coming to accept my previous fear of friendship in this realm. Or is that's just a place holder... Jeez, what the fu*k is going on with me now.

All is well with Amena and the others, I just find myself coming to face with this new feeling is all.

[Sour Soul]

Humans are complicated, but why is that? We sometimes like to make things complicated for them, and for what? To leave them confuse, angry, sad, empty, or even colder.

I no longer want to be complicated, since it's unfair for the other person who wants to understand.. even for a little bit.

[Sour Soul]

Pour a cup of hot syrup on what you love.

French toast.

Pancakes.

Waffles.

Watch how you crave the taste.

How long can you last before you open up to it.

Have it cast your desire burn more within your nose.

See how the steam it gives as you get closer to it.

To beam it with a smile.

Pour more you think.

Drown it and watch it be thick as your feelings for it.

Give it time, to watch it be gone.

It’s too sweet.

What have I done.

Toss it away.

What have I done.

Forget about it.

What have I done.

Time to make anew.

...

This poem is stupid. -w-

Fu*k it. It's merely a silly poem after all. XD