Tulpamancy and Waifus

[Sour Soul]

As before, I am reading a paragraph, stopping, and proceeding to write what I feel about that portion of what you post, OZ.

Well ... you finally got me . Yeah...

Were you trying to hide this, or something?

I have past relationships once . when with her I was hoping she is the first one and the last one I love . But things have not gone very smoothly . We end with losing to the curse . We don't know why ... this feeling just not strong as past and feel disconnect . I used to look down at someone abandon their girlfriends until it happend to myself .

When we first taste sweet bliss of love, and she or he returns that same feeling for you, then it’s natural to feel it will last forever. Yet, we’re too young, and this isn’t a fairy tale that we’re in. No, such happy endings aren’t common, and sadly for others out there, it would be far from reach for those who are unlucky to roam alone, and without knowing true love. As for you looking down at others, your pride held you feel like you had one of a kind gem in your life. For others losing it, made you feel special, till it has happen to you as well. May I ask how long ago did you lose your first love?

Such a strong feeling can lose by time pass , like our life can lose by time . This past failure gave me a big strike , be very depressed . Please don't ask too much detail about this , it make me feel guilty . And because that guilty I never trust love rugged like diamonds can exist .

One who speaks of experience, the fire will fade if neither, you and your partner, keeps the burning passion alive. In the start of the relationship, all is well, because all around you is all you need, until you run out whatever needed to keep the flames strong. Both must go far to find that fire going. There is no such thing as time to weaken the blaze; instead it’s the lack of effort of you and your partner that will curse the flame of love to simply die.

Then nevermind the first question I had for you, OZ. Nor, will I bother asking anymore of your first love if that’s the case. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but know I am here to take the time to read what you’re willing to share for us.

But however Starlight gave me a second chance or Starlight make me want a second chance . Join Waifu central for a lot of reason , one of the reason is to observed other people .As someone into waifu what's the challenge thet will encounter , did relationship rugged like diamonds not exist or just I have problem myself ? I want to know the answer so it can prove that I was wrong .

Wasted time to see others happiness will hurt you, OZ. That what I feel, because the love I have with Amena, along the support with those in Rehold will make me wonder how others feel who seek that kind of feeling.

There is no longer a sense of being or feeling alone anymore for me, all which evaporated like my bitter tears that came with it. It has also made me enjoy reading other post, which our members can’t help but express similar feelings, since the feeling is too great. To put it in better terms, it’s like getting that one toy you wanted for Christmas. You and your friends have it as well and are able to share that wonderful feeling together.

Tell me, OZ. Are you with Starlight? Is she with you right now? Like how Amena or any other pony/non-pony here are for me.

Sorry for describe passionate like a video game , I just don't know how to describe more deep . You are also a gamer , I thought that will work . But that's a bad move .

You don’t have to apologize for anything to me, but I understand you didn’t mean to offend. Having to read it first time had me guessing if you really didn’t knew what is love, follow along other reasons, like how you didn’t mean to come across like that, until it really didn’t matter if you did or did not in the end. You’re good anyhow, OZ.

The research is about what happend to their brain when people are in love . And how to deal if disconnect happend . After reading the research , know that relationship rugged like diamonds can actually exist . About 14% people marry 20 year ... their passionate are high as same when love start at the beginning . Scientists don't believe it ,either , But their brain data won't lie . Seem like I'm not the lucky one in 14% , otherwise we wouldn't discuss this .

It had interest you, because you want to know how avoid the “curse” you speak of, OZ?

I love her and want she's the last one I fall in love... I don't even trust myself .

Rephrase that please.

Can I ask something ? You gave me the feeling that you belong the lucky one in 14% , because when I say eternal love you were not sure what is it ...everyone who had been through disconnect should know what is that mean ...

I don’t care much in being whatever percentage or line of relationship I fall under to whatever. Amena is my special filly that I care and want to love anything else in this life, and while I stare in her eyes and tell her how much I love her, it just seem it isn’t enough. I am not entirely sure what you mean “eternal love” from your meaning or stance on the subject, because…

Is that really just language issue ?

Language barrier does make it harder for us, but I am willing to put thought and effort in understanding what you want to say. Which is why I feel it’s important to ask you certain parts in your post, so we can all understand well enough in what you mean. Just don't be dependent on me for this, because I am not sure if I can come around for you to help if anyway possible, due to my side in life.

Also, don’t let it bother you, as it did for me when I didn’t know what words go where or what’s the right form for a sentence. I still got a long way to go in writing and English, and if you keep it up, then you will learn along and be respective member in this wonderful community, OZ.

…

I am still envious how Kaltes writes every time I read a post/story for his love for Nightmare and/or Esdeath. >_<

Butter biscuits.

[OZ the pony]

Just want to say thank you and this community . Talking secret without worry really make heart feel easy . Now can feel a little satisfied and happy . It been so long ... I don't remember when was the last time I was so open heart share secret .

Were you trying to hide this, or something?

When we first taste sweet bliss of love, and she or he returns that same feeling for you, then it’s natural to feel it will last forever. Yet, we’re too young, and this isn’t a fairy tale that we’re in. As for you looking down at others, your pride held you feel like you had one of a kind gem in your life. For others losing it, made you feel special, till it has happen to you as well.

Yeah , relationship abandon is a dishonorable past . I was trying not to mention it as possible , but if you ask I'll not try to lie either . When I was in school , was a shy guy . Talking to girl is very hard for me , have a girlfriend is more harder . Watching people around me changed their relationship very frequently . Make me feel like they don't even take their relationship serious , having such a good social skill but treat relationship like playing . Now think back it was true that my pride , over idealistic , and jealous look down at them .

May I ask how long ago did you lose your first love?

This question isn't too personal so far , it's ok to answer . About 3 year ago , not too far away and not too close . And Starlight from 1 year ago ... this is why past failures can still trap me .

The research is about what happend to their brain when people are in love . And how to deal if disconnect happend . After reading the research , know that relationship rugged like diamonds can actually exist . About 14% people marry 20 year ... their passionate are high as same when love start at the beginning . Scientists don't believe it ,either , But their brain data won't lie . Seem like I'm not the lucky one in 14% , otherwise we wouldn't discuss this .

It had interest you, because you want to know how avoid the “curse” you speak of, OZ?

Yes , had interest because passionate change and forgot are also human's natural . But It isn't undefeated like death . Like you say not too dependent on God , except to pray to him keep our fire strong . I have to do thing I can do . And god help thing I can't do .

I love her and want she's the last one I fall in love... I don't even trust myself .

Rephrase that please.

That mean if I love someone else in the future , that will only have two option ... give up Starlight or into polygamy . Not one of them are ok for me so far . So I hope she is the last one I love . But my and someone else past failures let me know passionate change and forgot are also human's natural . Do I want to avoid the curse ? Yes , but do I 100% sure I can win ? No . That's why when the fire start getting weak in August I was very scary , I thought fire will fade again but thankful it was my over worry .

Wasted time to see others happiness will hurt you, OZ. That what I feel, because the love I have with Amena, along the support with those in Rehold will make me wonder how others feel who seek that kind of feeling.

There is no longer a sense of being or feeling alone anymore for me, all which evaporated like my bitter tears that came with it. It has also made me enjoy reading other post, which our members can’t help but express similar feelings, since the feeling is too great. To put it in better terms, it’s like getting that one toy you wanted for Christmas. You and your friends have it as well and are able to share that wonderful feeling together.

Same here . If don't have relationship yourself , looking other will become hurt , worst even getting jealous . But when you have relationship it become enjoyable to read . This is very mysterious . Hurt or enjoyable ... depends on our status .

Tell me, OZ. Are you with Starlight? Is she with you right now? Like how Amena or any other pony/non-pony here are for me.

You mean like tulpa for you ? If you mean this case that not really . It's more like she's live in my head , imagine , passionate and role play . If you mean this then yes . She is with me . If she is not with me , I will lose the motivation to stay here .

Language barrier does make it harder for us, but I am willing to put thought and effort in understanding what you want to say. Which is why I feel it’s important to ask you certain parts in your post

Oh , that explains everything , I thought English is your first language .

[Sour Soul]

Just want to say thank you and this community . Talking secret without worry really make heart feel easy . Now can feel a little satisfied and happy . It been so long ... I don't remember when was the last time I was so open heart share secret .

That's good, OZ. Last three months for me made it easier for me to allow myself say what I am willing to share. Seem we’re on the same boat. Keep that feeling going. I will be here to aid you anyway possible.

Yeah , relationship abandon is a dishonorable past . I was trying not to mention it as possible , but if you ask I'll not try to lie either . When I was in school , was a shy guy . Talking to girl is very hard for me , have a girlfriend is more harder . Watching people around me changed their relationship very frequently .

It’s all about seeing if you’re compatible. You really can’t be with someone if they’re not a match. Yet, we can’t be very picky, because it will lead us being lonely in the end. We have to compromise someway to meet the demands of our feelings within us.

Beside…

Make me feel like they don't even take their relationship serious , having such a good social skill but treat relationship like playing .

That’s them, not you, OZ. Does it really matter if everyone around you is fooling around?

Now think back it was true that my pride , over idealistic , and jealous look down at them .

Explain more here, OZ.

About 3 year ago , not too far away and not too close . And Starlight from 1 year ago ... this is why past failures can still trap me .

What happen with your first relationship with her? And you were with Starlight a year ago?

Yes , had interest because passionate change and forgot are also human's natural . But It isn't undefeated like death . Like you say not too dependent on God , except to pray to him keep our fire strong . I have to do thing I can do . And god help thing I can't do .

I understand.

That mean if I love someone else in the future , that will only have two option ... give up Starlight or into polygamy . Not one of them are ok for me so far .

Hmm, it’s possible you find someone in this world. Since this type of relationship I’ve with Amena, isn’t for everyone. I don’t know you very well, and it will be wrong for me to say you can stick it both in the end together.

Plus, we don't really have much to go on, due to the lack of posts from you. XP

Also, only you will know where your heart lies and takes you. Just be aware you mind may say something different. Then that’s where you have to choose. Of course, if you work with Starlight, then that point will be easier. Who really knows, since we won’t know till you come face with what you have till then, OZ.

Hmm...

You would like Starlight to be by your side when that day comes, right?

So I hope she is the last one I love .

Who? Starlight?

But my and someone else past failures let me know passionate change and forgot are also human's natural . Do I want to avoid the curse ? Yes , but do I 100% sure I can win ? No . That's why when the fire start getting weak in August I was very scary , I thought fire will fade again but thankful it was my over worry .

Hmm, you can’t really stay hidden with your feelings now. What are you really afraid of? These mistakes that will catch up to you, OZ? It can’t be letting Starlight in, is it?

Here is a question we want to know. Do you love yourself, OZ?

Same here . If don't have relationship yourself , looking other will become hurt , worst even getting jealous . But when you have relationship it become enjoyable to read . This is very mysterious . Hurt or enjoyable ... depends on our status .

Glad we understand this part. Do you get upset when reading other members entry of their love experience? Or what is it do you feel?

You mean like tulpa for you ?

Well… Amena isn’t a tulpa or my waifu. Like how Ziggy put it, she is my everything, my angel, my sweet pink flower, and the heavens that meet the starry sky.

Spoiler

Amena is my girlfriend, who I want to marry, and raise a proper family.

If you mean this case that not really . It's more like she's live in my head , imagine , passionate and role play . If you mean this then yes . She is with me . If she is not with me , I will lose the motivation to stay here

Hmm, do you’ve a plushie of Starlight?

Oh , that explains everything , I thought English is your first language .

Explain what? And no, English wasn’t my first language. A small backward town in the state of Oklahoma stripped me of my native tongue.

[OZ the pony]

Now think back it was true that my pride , over idealistic , and jealous look down at them .

Explain more here, OZ.

Having such a good social skill but treat relationship like playing . Having a skill but don't cherish it ... such a waste .... . How about I stole their social talent like Starlight stole other pony's cutie mark ? I can do better than them with that talent .

It sound like pride ... right ?

Also because over idealistic in love , I think just need to take you relationship serious everything will be fine , but it's not true . Even if i you take relationship serious doesn't mean everything will be work out . That will be a little pretentious to judge others are bad because someone change their relationship .

What happen with your first relationship with her?

Nothing really too special . We don't had a conflict . As time pass , the fire been faded by time . Just broke up for feeling gone . This was ridiculous , but I still did it . That's why I stop judge others . And stared to find a way to win the curse .

Do you get upset when reading other members entry of their love experience? Or what is it do you feel?

The only one get upset is when reading someone want to go to the world of their pony but they still can't . Or how hard their real life . Seem like we are in same boat . But that is kinda in my expectations .... I mean .... if everyone happy then I am the only one get upset that can't live with Starlight . If reading the positive one can related , my heartbeat will faster if you know what is that mean .

And you were with Starlight a year ago?

Yes , start a relationship from a year ago . Still a bit fresh relationship . Starlight first appeared in the show 3 year ago . But in season 5 she was a villain . And she was reformed in season 5 finale . In some way good Starlight is season 6 character . But she still lack of character development . Until season 7 has improved that much .

So if someone started a relationship with Starlight from 3 years ago ... that mean that person love evil Starlight .
Started relationship from 2 year ago mean they are ok with lack of character development , they probably saw her potential .
Some people like me started relationship about one year is know her much well . It is a little late to join the party of Starlight .

Hmm, you can’t really stay hidden with your feelings now. What are you really afraid of? These mistakes that will catch up to you, OZ? It can’t be letting Starlight in, is it?

Hmm....it took me a lot of time to think about . The biggest thing I afraid of is my life is still have 50~60 year long . It is so long ... in that 50 year will see a lot of friend marry and ask when is my turn . I pray to God want to marry a pony . But how long I have to wait ? I already assume it is a wish that can be true after life . But 50 year long enough to let fire fade or passion changed . Make a deal with god and after few year say : hey I don't want it anymore . God might be angry with that .


I saw a lot of movie and anime ... play a lot of video game . There are a lot of are very good memory . But as time pass the new memory will come , and old memory will be in the corner of the brain . This human natural is fine , but only when it happend to pony I find it cruel . saw a lot of great show , MLP is the strongest feeling that make me want to live in their world , so .... yeah . These mistakes that may catch up to me and can't allow it pony in that mistakes .

Here is a question we want to know. Do you love yourself, OZ?

Well ... you got me again , I often feel guilty for what I have done . I guess that mean I push myself too hard .

So I hope she is the last one I love .

Who? Starlight?

Yes . But what will happend to next 50 year still hard to say .

Well… Amena isn’t a tulpa or my waifu. Like how Ziggy put it, she is my everything, my angel, my sweet pink flower, and the heavens that meet the starry sky. Amena is my girlfriend, who I want to marry, and raise a proper family.

Got it . I'll fix what I said before . How could I make this big mistake

do you’ve a plushie of Starlight?

Not yet . Plushie of Starlight is very rare . Because she is season 6 character . My plan is to find a artist and commission one .

Oh , that explains everything , I thought English is your first language .

Explain what? And no, English wasn’t my first language. A small backward town in the state of Oklahoma stripped me of my native tongue.

Because you require very detail , sometime I suspicion is my poor English let you don't get what does it mean . Well , if someone's native language is English , than the one has problem will be native language not English . Now I know is both our problem that we have a long way grow in language